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Offline (the 07/22/2015 at 1:46am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 31 January 1998 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7792
  • Number of comments : 419
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 59 posted

About lolfood : Welcome to my profile.









... Why are you still here?

lolfood's page activity

Visits<b>SpaceToast</b> - the 09/19/2016 at 11:56pm<b>gigiskye</b> - the 09/08/2016 at 11:08pm<b>OhanaMeansFamily</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 4:39pm<b>abravo923</b> - the 08/11/2016 at 3:16am<b>walker9879</b> - the 05/28/2016 at 1:57pm<b>TitanLegends</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 3:59pm<b>Brucinator</b> - the 03/09/2016 at 1:20am<b>HPCullen251</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 6:30pm<b>huehuea</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 12:44am<b>LuxTheSarcastic</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 10:01pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 11:09pm<b>FlightofAcidFox</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 1:14pm<b>paskievitchjack</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 8:30pm<b>cjl1028</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 10:07pm<b>EnJey0</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 3:50pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 12:43pm<b>rachelthelime</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 5:31pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 10:38pm

Fucked!<b>SpaceToast</b> - the 09/20/2016 at 5:56am<b>FlightofAcidFox</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 6:14pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 6:43pm<b>rachelthelime</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 11:31pm<b>HyunnK</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 11:57pm

lolfood's FML badges


You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of lolfood's badges

lolfood's favorite FMLs

Today, I overheard my husband talking to our 6 year-old about animals for a project. I listened, thinking it was cute, until my husband said gleefully, "Remember to say this in your project: octopuses have 8 testicles." FML

by daddoesn'tknowbest / 10/13/2011 at 8:24am / United States / Kids

Today, in an incredibly busy shopping center bathroom with my 5 year-old niece, I was squatting over the toilet seat to avoid germs. My niece then says at the top of her voice, "Auntie, why are you sitting like a kangaroo?" I'd say the whole room pissed their pants laughing. FML

by Pissed / 10/05/2011 at 11:29am / Australia / Kids

Today, on my way home, my girlfriend started sexting me, telling me that she was waiting at my house. In my rush to get home to see her, I got pulled over and had to be patted down. He found no weapons, but he did find my stiffy. FML

by Username / 10/04/2011 at 8:02pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I used a public restroom with very shiny floors. So shiny, in fact, that I could see a clear reflection of the person in the next stall. I'm pretty sure they could see me too. FML

by anonymous / 10/01/2011 at 10:18am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I shat a magnet. FML

by mimi / 09/26/2011 at 10:51pm / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML

by BigBananaLover / 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, while at work, after reading more than 100 FMLs and moderating more than 500, I decided to write one of my own with the help of my boss, who had been standing next to me for over an hour. "How about being fired?" FML

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

by Anonymous / 09/19/2011 at 10:39am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, my girlfriend called me over to her house. When I knocked, no one responded to the door. I decided to check the back yard and found her sunbathing by the pool. I kneeled by her and placed my hand on her butt, kissing her neck. What I heard next, "So this is what you do with my daughter." FML

by Anonymous / 09/15/2011 at 7:54pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, my parents came to my house for my birthday. My mom backed her car into my motorcycle, knocking it over. She said because it was my birthday I could pay for the damages to her car later. FML

Today, I apologized to the cat for walking into the laundry room while he was using the litter box. FML

by Anonymous / 09/13/2011 at 2:05am / United States (Tennessee) / Animals

Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex. It wasn't her. Thanks dad. FML

by Anonymous / 09/10/2011 at 2:35am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was masturbating while chewing gum. Halfway into the session, the gum flew down my throat, causing me to violently choke. My mom had to rush in and help me while I still had my pants around my ankles. FML

by omfgnooo / 09/09/2011 at 7:22pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my fiancé played Rockband drums from the bathroom while taking a crap. He actually managed to properly hit notes. FML

by Anonymous / 09/07/2011 at 7:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my neighbors took it upon themselves to knock down the fence we shared, and putting up a new one. Thus fencing my pool into their yard. When I asked them why, he replied, "We thought you weren't coming back." I was gone for 4 months tending to my sister with breast cancer. FML

by Pool-less / 09/04/2011 at 2:09am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous