About lolfood : Welcome to my profile. Sorry for whatever I did, or offended you with, because that is probably the reason you are on my profile. Either that, or I made you laugh. Another reason would be the picture that I have. I have devoted my life to becoming a Grammar Nazi. It pisses me off when people comment "that sucks," or something to the same effect and lack of creativity. Happy stalking!
I'm going to be a regular here.
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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
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Today, I got trapped in an elevator with a chicken. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22787) - you deserved it (2663)
On 11/24/2011 at 5:35am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom
Today, my dad got drunk and thought it would be a great idea to clean up the yard by dumping gasoline all over the leaves and lighting our entire front yard on fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22023) - you deserved it (1567)
On 11/24/2011 at 3:42am - misc - by JWhite - United States (California)
Today, I discovered my wife and I have referred to our two-year-old as 'cutie' or 'beautiful' so many times she won't respond to her own name. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9591) - you deserved it (26561)
On 11/21/2011 at 1:23am - kids - by BadFather (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I discovered my wife and I have referred to our two-year-old as 'cutie' or 'beautiful' so many times she won't respond to her own name. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9591) - you deserved it (26561)
On 11/21/2011 at 1:23am - kids - by BadFather (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I cut my penis on a desk fan. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14789) - you deserved it (57478)
On 11/11/2011 at 10:53am - intimacy - by dumbassbuffet (man) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, I cut my penis on a desk fan. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14789) - you deserved it (57478)
On 11/11/2011 at 10:53am - intimacy - by dumbassbuffet (man) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, I was working the graveyard shift as a security guard. I fell asleep in my car doing paperwork around 2 am. When my supervisor came to check on me, he pounded on my window, wearing a "Scream" mask. I panicked and pepper sprayed him. Too bad my window was closed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11712) - you deserved it (22007)
On 11/10/2011 at 6:40am - work - by copshop - United States (California)
Today, I was working the graveyard shift as a security guard. I fell asleep in my car doing paperwork around 2 am. When my supervisor came to check on me, he pounded on my window, wearing a "Scream" mask. I panicked and pepper sprayed him. Too bad my window was closed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11712) - you deserved it (22007)
On 11/10/2011 at 6:40am - work - by copshop - United States (California)
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to let my 19-month-old son watch me pee, since I'm trying to potty train him. I didn't consider that he might try to grab my penis. When he did, I was startled and peed all over the floor and my son. Good job dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24154) - you deserved it (16842)
On 11/09/2011 at 4:52pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I went grocery shopping. Being a bartender, I had a huge wad of dollar bills from cash tips. As I was counting them at the register, I looked at the cashier and joked, "You probably think I'm a stripper or something." He looked me up and down and said, "Uh... hell no." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18356) - you deserved it (18307)
On 11/01/2011 at 1:52pm - misc - by bakedplum (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I ran into an old friend. I asked her how she was doing, then asked, "And your mum?" Just as the words escaped my lips, I remembered her mum died a few years ago. Trying to save face, I messed up again and blurted, "She still in the same graveyard?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (14285) - you deserved it (40968) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 10/21/2011 at 10:09pm - misc - by Virginiedetibo - France
Today, it was our 5th anniversary, so I decided to play a little joke on my girlfriend. Before I gave her the real present, an engagement ring, I gave her a gift-wrapped rolling pin instead. I ended up in the hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20938) - you deserved it (13026)
On 10/20/2011 at 4:26am - love - by Awie (man) - Austria (Wien)
Today, my eleven year old sister came in, and bitched to me and my boyfriend about how she was going to tell my mom about the used condom she found. My boyfriend punched her in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43145) - you deserved it (11803)
On 10/19/2011 at 10:37am - intimacy - by lolilovemyboyfriend (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (24814) - you deserved it (3920) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (24814) - you deserved it (3920) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Friday 24 May 2013
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