About lolfood : Welcome to my profile. Sorry for whatever I did, or offended you with, because that is probably the reason you are on my profile. Either that, or I made you laugh. Another reason would be the picture that I have. I have devoted my life to becoming a Grammar Nazi. It pisses me off when people comment "that sucks," or something to the same effect and lack of creativity. Happy stalking!
I'm going to be a regular here.
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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
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Today, while at work, a man grabbed my beard, said it was impressive, and then uttered the words, "I love you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17522) - you deserved it (2296)
On 04/25/2012 at 2:46am - work - by foshizzle (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I tried hitting on the new receptionist at work. After a few flirtatious comments and subtly hinting that I thought she was bangable, she informed me that she's married to our boss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6133) - you deserved it (27251)
On 04/11/2012 at 12:46pm - work - by Spudzy (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I realized my Internet addiction had gone too far when I tried to Google what was in my freezer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4295) - you deserved it (15293)
On 04/05/2012 at 5:53pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I dropped off my 19 year old daughter at her first job. It's at a strip club. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22804) - you deserved it (16279)
On 03/27/2012 at 1:51pm - kids - by azmom - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was on the train ride home from a trip to Florida, and I gave my mom a call. While we talked, I made an offhand comment that all my friends back home must miss me. She knowingly asked if I meant my Sims and my cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14813) - you deserved it (3332)
On 03/20/2012 at 3:15pm - misc - by lyla - United States
Today, I told my daughter that she should put some love into her cooking. She started kissing the ingredients. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14126) - you deserved it (10529)
On 03/19/2012 at 12:59am - kids - by FoodyFood (woman) - Australia (South Australia)
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15089) - you deserved it (8038)
On 03/16/2012 at 4:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland
Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17867) - you deserved it (38122)
On 03/10/2012 at 2:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I overheard my fourteen year old daughter talking on the phone. Apparently, as of last night, she and her best friend have their "official licenses in muff diving". FML
I agree, your life sucks (19691) - you deserved it (2859)
On 02/20/2012 at 4:19pm - intimacy - by Gavin - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)
Today, I was speaking to an old friend and I asked her how her mother was. She replied, "She passed away, you came to her funeral last month." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6814) - you deserved it (34999)
On 02/20/2012 at 5:01am - misc - by elizabethyeo - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I was so broke and hungry that I went to Olive Garden and faked being stood up, just so I could eat their breadsticks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29974) - you deserved it (4912)
On 02/17/2012 at 4:10pm - misc - by 97 (woman) - United States
Today, I took my girlfriend out for a fancy dinner to celebrate our anniversary. When the waitress came, we instantly recognized each other. She was the girl I'd had a one night stand with a few weeks before. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6856) - you deserved it (82016)
On 02/13/2012 at 4:49pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada
Today, my misanthropic malcontent of a son smashed my air freshener and turned my faulty lava lamp on in a twisted act of rebellion. The bottom of the lamp broke and got wax everywhere. My room now smells like cinnamon, with a hint of freshly embalmed corpse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16276) - you deserved it (3607)
Today, I was talking to a friend about how many germs live on the average cell phone. My five year old son apparently overheard me talking, and decided to give my cell phone a bath. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19637) - you deserved it (5005)
On 02/13/2012 at 4:23pm - kids - by Katherine - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I received a single, hand-made Valentine's card from the weirdest kid in the school. It said, "If you ever get mauled by a bear, I hope he doesn't damage your face." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20382) - you deserved it (3737)
On 02/04/2012 at 12:12am - love - by Jayde - United States (Texas)
Monday 20 May 2013
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