lolfood

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Offline (the 07/22/2015 at 1:46am)

lolfood

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 31 January 1998 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7146
  • Number of comments : 419
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 59 posted

About lolfood : Welcome to my profile.




















































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... Why are you still here?

lolfood's page activity

Visits<b>OhanaMeansFamily</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 4:39pm<b>abravo923</b> - the 08/11/2016 at 3:16am<b>walker9879</b> - the 05/28/2016 at 1:57pm<b>TitanLegends</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 3:59pm<b>Brucinator</b> - the 03/09/2016 at 1:20am<b>HPCullen251</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 6:30pm<b>huehuea</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 12:44am<b>LuxTheSarcastic</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 10:01pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 11:09pm<b>FlightofAcidFox</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 1:14pm<b>paskievitchjack</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 8:30pm<b>cjl1028</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 10:07pm<b>EnJey0</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 3:50pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 12:43pm<b>rachelthelime</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 5:31pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 10:38pm<b>ionab101</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 7:50pm<b>raven83</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 9:35am

Fucked!<b>FlightofAcidFox</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 6:14pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 6:43pm<b>rachelthelime</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 11:31pm<b>HyunnK</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 11:57pm

lolfood's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of lolfood's badges

lolfood's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML

by Anonymous / 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I was babysitting a six year old girl, when I saw a huge spider on the wall. I screamed and told her to stay back. Instead, she walked up to the spider, squished it, and told me to stop being such a baby. FML

by Anonymous / 09/30/2012 at 1:57pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his parents. My boyfriend is Japanese, and I wanted to introduce myself in Japanese so I'd asked him. Little did I know he'd taught me how to say, "Hello, I love your son's cock." I almost got kicked out of their house. FML

by painfetish8021 / 09/16/2012 at 8:50pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, my husband had a temper tantrum because I wouldn't get him a chocolate bar at the store register. FML

by Anonymous / 08/20/2012 at 8:12am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, my girlfriend found my list of women I've had sex with, complete with the ratings I'd given them. The list is in chronological order. She's not only not the highest rated, she's not last on the list. FML

by Anonymous / 08/16/2012 at 3:36pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML

by Anonymous / 08/09/2012 at 10:26am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML

by Anonymous / 08/09/2012 at 10:26am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, was my daughter's birthday. I didn't know I had a daughter. FML

by nick / 07/23/2012 at 8:52pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been in love with for the past two years. Five minutes in, he passed out on top of me from a pain pill overdose and had a mini seizure. He finally woke up and groans, "Those bastards! They confiscated my clothes!" FML

by Lucy / 07/21/2012 at 3:40am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was using a penis pump for the first time. It was awesome until it sucked my left testicle into the tube. I'll be singing soprano for a while now. FML

by tuggernuts / 07/17/2012 at 11:32am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML

by kalikanna / 07/07/2012 at 2:10am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was entering a guy's number into my phone, and I couldn't remember his name. Embarrassed, I tried to be sneaky and asked, "Can you spell your name for me, please?" His name is Bob. FML

by Bernadette / 06/28/2012 at 3:58pm / Miscellaneous

Today, my sister was "sexting" her boyfriend over Apple messages. Since we share an iTunes account the messages appeared on my iPod. Apparently, he shouldn't be silly, and should wrap his willy. FML

by Addison / 06/24/2012 at 8:28pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I was in a business meeting. I was giving a Powerpoint presentation to my boss and a few other associates. Then a notification popped up in the middle of my presentation reminding me that I needed to renew my pornhub subscription. FML

by WaffleMan / 06/08/2012 at 7:58am / United States (New Jersey) / Work

Today, a man on the bus questioned my sexuality for being a male nurse. I asked him what he did and he said he worked in a garage. When I pointed out that I work with sexy nurses all day and he works with sweaty guys, he punched me in the stomach. FML

by Bishop / 06/06/2012 at 10:19am / Transportation