About lolfood : Welcome to my profile. Sorry for whatever I did, or offended you with, because that is probably the reason you are on my profile. Either that, or I made you laugh. Another reason would be the picture that I have. I have devoted my life to becoming a Grammar Nazi. It pisses me off when people comment "that sucks," or something to the same effect and lack of creativity. Happy stalking!
I'm going to be a regular here.
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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
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Today, my husband had a temper tantrum because I wouldn't get him a chocolate bar at the store register. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14122) - you deserved it (4007)
On 08/20/2012 at 8:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my girlfriend found my list of women I've had sex with, complete with the ratings I'd given them. The list is in chronological order. She's not only not the highest rated, she's not last on the list. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6850) - you deserved it (106994)
On 08/16/2012 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13955) - you deserved it (2259)
On 08/09/2012 at 10:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13955) - you deserved it (2259)
On 08/09/2012 at 10:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, was my daughter's birthday. I didn't know I had a daughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19534) - you deserved it (7706)
On 07/23/2012 at 8:52pm - kids - by nick (man) - United States (California)
Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been in love with for the past two years. Five minutes in, he passed out on top of me from a pain pill overdose and had a mini seizure. He finally woke up and groans, "Those bastards! They confiscated my clothes!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (17921) - you deserved it (3324)
On 07/21/2012 at 3:40am - intimacy - by Lucy - United States (California)
Today, I was using a penis pump for the first time. It was awesome until it sucked my left testicle into the tube. I'll be singing soprano for a while now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7683) - you deserved it (26886)
On 07/17/2012 at 11:32am - intimacy - by tuggernuts (man) - United States
Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23768) - you deserved it (2625)
On 07/07/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by kalikanna - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was entering a guy's number into my phone, and I couldn't remember his name. Embarrassed, I tried to be sneaky and asked, "Can you spell your name for me, please?" His name is Bob. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6902) - you deserved it (17524) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, my sister was "sexting" her boyfriend over Apple messages. Since we share an iTunes account the messages appeared on my iPod. Apparently, he shouldn't be silly, and should wrap his willy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20325) - you deserved it (2069)
On 06/24/2012 at 8:28pm - intimacy - by Addison - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was in a business meeting. I was giving a Powerpoint presentation to my boss and a few other associates. Then a notification popped up in the middle of my presentation reminding me that I needed to renew my pornhub subscription. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9960) - you deserved it (31353)
On 06/08/2012 at 7:58am - work - by WaffleMan (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, a man on the bus questioned my sexuality for being a male nurse. I asked him what he did and he said he worked in a garage. When I pointed out that I work with sexy nurses all day and he works with sweaty guys, he punched me in the stomach. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29452) - you deserved it (5139)
Today, I desperately needed to pee, but my mom was in the bathroom taking a shower, so I waited patiently until she finished. Just as I was about to go in, my half-naked dad rushed ahead, said "Going somewhere, son?" and shut the door on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15892) - you deserved it (1597)
On 06/04/2012 at 4:37pm - kids - by obtuse_ballsack (man) - Croatia (Grad Zagreb)
Today, I went for a job interview for a building position at a retail store. They saw on my application that I was good at math. They asked me what the circumference of a circle is. Being nervous during the interview, I accidentally said the area of a circle. I didn't get the job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14012) - you deserved it (5619)
On 05/03/2012 at 8:16am - work - by mathguy (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I realized I have more in common with a cantaloupe than I do with my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13870) - you deserved it (3163)
On 05/02/2012 at 2:16am - love - by muddled (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Monday 20 May 2013
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