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lolfood

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lolfood

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2736
  • Number of comments : 414
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 58 posted

About lolfood : Welcome to my profile.




















































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... Why are you still here?

lolfood's page activity

Visits<b>MarshalR</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 11:09am<b>BirdieCurls</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 6:42pm<b>CareFreeBanana</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 7:05am<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 5:39pm<b>Global_User</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 2:31pm<b>awesomepantTamia</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 6:37pm<b>Maria_BVB_Army</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 2:08am<b>Tl471</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 8:49am<b>CubanBitchh</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 12:21am<b>thatcrazygiirl</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 2:27pm<b>trinalporpus</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 8:46pm<b>Wingman527</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 11:21pm<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 3:26pm<b>cheesybanana703</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 9:10am<b>mossbeg410</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 10:29pm<b>Death_The_Kid15</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 10:29pm<b>44LynnLynn</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 6:09am<b>hotbutthurttoast</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 9:21am

lolfood's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of lolfood's badges

lolfood's favorite FMLs

Today, I went in to get my first tattoo. I'd put a lot of thought into it and was really excited when the day came. Long story short, the Celtic knot I'd gotten turned out to have an alternate meaning of "female sex slave." The faces my very Irish family made were beyond words. FML

#20511821
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17178) - you deserved it (44241)

On 02/18/2013 at 3:50am - intimacy - by UnluckyInk (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, just so my family would think someone might actually be interested in me, I bought myself roses and attached a secret admirer card to them. My plan would have worked if I hadn't forgotten to take the receipt off the kitchen counter. FML

#20506184
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10218) - you deserved it (38836)

On 02/14/2013 at 8:18am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, while riding the train home, I noticed a man who kept looking at me. Annoyed, I told him to be less obvious and to stop staring. He promptly responded, "Bitch, I'm gay, and even I can tell no one would want to look at you." FML

#20505985
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12424) - you deserved it (52775)

On 02/14/2013 at 2:39am - misc - by assoutofuandme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking with my friend. The girl in front of us had a really nice ass, so I turned to my friend and said, "Damn, she has a perfect ass." He replied, "That's a guy." FML

#20502853
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10373) - you deserved it (34154)

On 02/11/2013 at 9:30pm - misc - by notgay (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while waiting for my order at a restaurant, a woman walked up to me and slapped me. She looked at me for a moment and said "Sorry, I thought you were someone else." Ten minutes later, the same woman came back and slapped me again. FML

#20502782
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32294) - you deserved it (2388)

On 02/11/2013 at 8:42pm - misc - by Target - United States

Today, a girl came up to me on the street and said, "You have like no swag, bro." Feeling clever, I said, "At least I have a high school education." She then took out her work ID, showing me that she was a surgeon, flipped me off, then walked away saying, "This is totally going on Facebook." FML

#20502122
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29536) - you deserved it (27391)

On 02/11/2013 at 10:26am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I gave my 5-year-old daughter a unicorn pillow pet. She ended up giving him an ill-advised name, and has been loudly proclaiming to everyone she sees that her pillow pet is Horny. FML

#20499722
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31429) - you deserved it (4370)

On 02/09/2013 at 3:03pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my overprotective father. My boyfriend started out with, "Sir, it is an honor to be your daughter's sexual partner." FML

#20497837
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57391) - you deserved it (10869)

On 02/08/2013 at 2:13am - intimacy - by mydadsgonnakillme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after heavy rain my street flooded. While in my living room, I looked outside to see that my elderly neighbour was outside splashing in a knee deep puddle. He was butt-naked and wearing a snorkel and flippers. FML

#20492744
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27620) - you deserved it (3197)

On 02/04/2013 at 4:15am - misc - by Stunned (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, after heavy rain my street flooded. While in my living room, I looked outside to see that my elderly neighbour was outside splashing in a knee deep puddle. He was butt-naked and wearing a snorkel and flippers. FML

#20492744
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27620) - you deserved it (3197)

On 02/04/2013 at 4:15am - misc - by Stunned (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I was driving around with a few friends when one of them suggested we go in to an insurance company's office and sing their jingle. I'm an awful singer, so I was planning on lip syncing. Everyone else had the same idea. FML

#20487138
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10796) - you deserved it (33449)

On 01/31/2013 at 12:40am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I learned it's a bad idea to text and smoke while drunk, because there is an increased risk of throwing your phone off the balcony and sticking your cigarette into your pocket. FML

#20485916
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11544) - you deserved it (53798)

On 01/30/2013 at 5:13am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out my ten year old brother and his best friend have taught our new parrot to say, "Shut up, bitch." We have a bunch of our extended family coming over tomorrow to see what the parrot can say. FML

#20473087
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26998) - you deserved it (3615)

On 01/22/2013 at 2:00pm - animals - by What? - Australia

Today, I was at a party with my crush. The collar on his shirt was sticking up so I fixed it for him. He gave me a hug and said, "Aww you're so good to me. You're like my mother. You can be my college mother." I got mother-zoned. FML

#20458655
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46309) - you deserved it (5624)

On 01/14/2013 at 7:56am - love - by shiney100893 (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my daughter learned a new song. This would be great, except for the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. FML

#20448629
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34221) - you deserved it (2765)

On 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm - kids - by ugh (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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