About lolfood : Welcome to my profile. Sorry for whatever I did, or offended you with, because that is probably the reason you are on my profile. Either that, or I made you laugh. Another reason would be the picture that I have. I have devoted my life to becoming a Grammar Nazi. It pisses me off when people comment "that sucks," or something to the same effect and lack of creativity. Happy stalking!
I'm going to be a regular here.
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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
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Today, I noticed a stray string on a seam of my pants. I started absentmindedly pulling at it thinking maybe I could pull it off. Five minutes later, I realized it looked like I was fiddling with my crotch in the middle of Starbucks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25427) - you deserved it (8006)
On 04/09/2013 at 8:02pm - misc - by WearingSomethingStringy (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I found an invisible ink pen. I drew on my arms, thinking nobody would see it. I had an allergic reaction to the ink, and I now have three very large, very visible, red penises on my forearm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12006) - you deserved it (44759)
On 04/07/2013 at 8:30pm - health - by maturity - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was lost in a foreign city so I asked a girl for directions. She replied, "Directions? ONE DIRECTION!" and started screaming in my face and jumping around. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36777) - you deserved it (3490)
On 04/03/2013 at 5:17am - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was lost in a foreign city so I asked a girl for directions. She replied, "Directions? ONE DIRECTION!" and started screaming in my face and jumping around. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36777) - you deserved it (3490)
On 04/03/2013 at 5:17am - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my dad yet again uttered the words "well, that escalated quickly," while watching the news. He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day. I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already. He slowly turned to face me, raised an eyebrow, and said, "well, that escalated quickly." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17030) - you deserved it (45932)
On 03/30/2013 at 2:17pm - misc - by fuck you dad (man) - Ireland (Monaghan)
Today, I spent three hours painstakingly installing and configuring some parental control software on my 11-year-old son's laptop after I caught him watching porn. Barely an hour after returning the laptop, I caught him watching yet more porn on it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25248) - you deserved it (9401)
On 03/24/2013 at 6:30am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I spent three hours painstakingly installing and configuring some parental control software on my 11-year-old son's laptop after I caught him watching porn. Barely an hour after returning the laptop, I caught him watching yet more porn on it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25248) - you deserved it (9401)
On 03/24/2013 at 6:30am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I finally got to meet my boyfriend's parents; it turns out that his mum is my therapist. I've just spent an entire morning telling her how confused I am about my sexuality. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39461) - you deserved it (4430)
On 03/21/2013 at 6:25am - misc - by me (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)
Today, my girlfriend was giving me head during the horror flick we were watching. Little did I know, my girlfriend isn't a big fan of horror films. It was during a sex scene that intensified the moment. The same sex scene from which emerged a sudden jump-scare. I now have bite marks on my penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19466) - you deserved it (35615)
On 03/17/2013 at 5:07am - intimacy - by Cliché... or Touché? -
Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43251) - you deserved it (11074)
On 03/06/2013 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by RedWaters - United States
Today, I sent my girlfriend a text saying, "Your the best girlfriend any man could have, and I think I may be in love with you." Ten minutes later, she responded with, "*you're". FML
I agree, your life sucks (15825) - you deserved it (31117)
On 03/04/2013 at 12:01am - love - by DEATHBYEX1LE - Australia
Today, my son asked me if the short films I write are for little kids or for adults. Since I write horror-filled films, I said it was for adults. He went and told his teacher that I made "adult films". FML
I agree, your life sucks (27548) - you deserved it (3118)
On 02/20/2013 at 7:01am - kids - by Laila - United States
Today, I went in to get my first tattoo. I'd put a lot of thought into it and was really excited when the day came. Long story short, the Celtic knot I'd gotten turned out to have an alternate meaning of "female sex slave." The faces my very Irish family made were beyond words. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11371) - you deserved it (29874)
On 02/18/2013 at 3:50am - intimacy - by UnluckyInk (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, just so my family would think someone might actually be interested in me, I bought myself roses and attached a secret admirer card to them. My plan would have worked if I hadn't forgotten to take the receipt off the kitchen counter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7920) - you deserved it (27198)
On 02/14/2013 at 8:18am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)
Today, while riding the train home, I noticed a man who kept looking at me. Annoyed, I told him to be less obvious and to stop staring. He promptly responded, "Bitch, I'm gay, and even I can tell no one would want to look at you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9515) - you deserved it (37771)
On 02/14/2013 at 2:39am - misc - by assoutofuandme (woman) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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