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lolfood

Offline (yesterday at 4:14am) | Search for a member

lolfood

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 31 January 1998 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4426
  • Number of comments : 419
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 59 posted

About lolfood : Welcome to my profile.




















































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... Why are you still here?

lolfood's page activity

Visits<b>ionab101</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 7:50pm<b>raven83</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 9:35am<b>MaybeMoo</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 5:08pm<b>plastix</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 1:35pm<b>meladuh</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 8:19am<b>kristergirl</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 3:38am<b>skiddymarker</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 12:42am<b>ThatOtherMegan</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 7:19am<b>DovahShep</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 9:43pm<b>Demonface54</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 5:02pm<b>hodgepodge365</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 8:07pm<b>justingug76</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 7:08pm<b>Epickitty58</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 12:57pm<b>MrAwesomenezz</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 11:04am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 6:33am<b>Kaylynn_Michele7</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 2:41pm<b>ThatDamHuntress</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 12:29am<b>Amiiii</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 7:41am

Fucked!<b>HyunnK</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 11:57pm

lolfood's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of lolfood's badges

lolfood's favorite FMLs

Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML

#20724998
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73308) - you deserved it (7242)

On 06/14/2013 at 2:48am - love - by explanations (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, a bug buzzed into my ear. In response, I punched myself in the face. FML

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

#20711208
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57260) - you deserved it (66180)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I noticed a stray string on a seam of my pants. I started absentmindedly pulling at it thinking maybe I could pull it off. Five minutes later, I realized it looked like I was fiddling with my crotch in the middle of Starbucks. FML

#20582655
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31358) - you deserved it (11223)

On 04/09/2013 at 8:02pm - misc - by WearingSomethingStringy (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I found an invisible ink pen. I drew on my arms, thinking nobody would see it. I had an allergic reaction to the ink, and I now have three very large, very visible, red penises on my forearm. FML

#20579781
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15526) - you deserved it (59923)

On 04/07/2013 at 8:30pm - health - by maturity - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was lost in a foreign city so I asked a girl for directions. She replied, "Directions? ONE DIRECTION!" and started screaming in my face and jumping around. FML

#20572868
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45281) - you deserved it (5408)

On 04/03/2013 at 5:17am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was lost in a foreign city so I asked a girl for directions. She replied, "Directions? ONE DIRECTION!" and started screaming in my face and jumping around. FML

#20572868
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45281) - you deserved it (5408)

On 04/03/2013 at 5:17am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dad yet again uttered the words "well, that escalated quickly," while watching the news. He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day. I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already. He raised an eyebrow and said, "well, that escalated quickly." FML

#20566988
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21391) - you deserved it (52341)

On 03/30/2013 at 2:17pm - misc - by fuck you dad (man) - Ireland (Monaghan)

Today, I spent three hours painstakingly installing and configuring some parental control software on my 11-year-old son's laptop after I caught him watching porn. Barely an hour after returning the laptop, I caught him watching yet more porn on it. FML

#20557646
318 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33097) - you deserved it (13484)

On 03/24/2013 at 6:30am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I spent three hours painstakingly installing and configuring some parental control software on my 11-year-old son's laptop after I caught him watching porn. Barely an hour after returning the laptop, I caught him watching yet more porn on it. FML

#20557646
318 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33097) - you deserved it (13484)

On 03/24/2013 at 6:30am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I finally got to meet my boyfriend's parents; it turns out that his mum is my therapist. I've just spent an entire morning telling her how confused I am about my sexuality. FML

#20553373
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46705) - you deserved it (6041)

On 03/21/2013 at 6:25am - misc - by me (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head during the horror flick we were watching. Little did I know, my girlfriend isn't a big fan of horror films. It was during a sex scene that intensified the moment. The same sex scene from which emerged a sudden jump-scare. I now have bite marks on my penis. FML

#20547294
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29488) - you deserved it (50939)

On 03/17/2013 at 5:07am - intimacy - by Cliché... or Touché? -

Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML

#20533607
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56092) - you deserved it (14694)

On 03/06/2013 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by RedWaters - United States

Today, I sent my girlfriend a text saying, "Your the best girlfriend any man could have, and I think I may be in love with you." Ten minutes later, she responded with, "*you're". FML

#20530358
185 comments

Today, my son asked me if the short films I write are for little kids or for adults. Since I write horror-filled films, I said it was for adults. He went and told his teacher that I made "adult films". FML

#20514612
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36200) - you deserved it (4856)

On 02/20/2013 at 7:01am - kids - by Laila - United States



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