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lmjb3496

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lmjb3496
  • Town/Country : Ontario, Canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 4 March 1996 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 154
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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lmjb3496's favorite FMLs

Today, my daughter learned a new song. This would be great, except for the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. FML

#20448629
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28094) - you deserved it (1782)

On 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm - kids - by ugh (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while out hiking, my phone slipped out of my pocket. I caught it and gave it to my little cousin, giving her a "special mission" to keep it safe. When we got back to our cars later, I asked her for my phone back. Turns out she left it under a shrub back in the hills so it'd be "safe." FML

#20445287
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8548) - you deserved it (30255)

On 01/06/2013 at 7:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I unknowingly used my shampoo thinking it was leave-in-conditioner. While walking to work, it started to rain. I started to produce suds. FML

#20443594
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9287) - you deserved it (22039)

On 01/05/2013 at 10:59am - misc - by nomegusta (woman) - United States

Today, while talking to one of my parents' friends, we discovered that the house he grew up in is the same house my boyfriend now lives in. When he recalled that he lost his first tooth there, the only response I could come up with was, "Oh my gosh, I lost my virginity there!" FML

#20440379
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10621) - you deserved it (38783)

On 01/03/2013 at 5:34am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend of four years broke up with me by writing on my bathroom mirror in Sharpie. What did he write? "Hi, I'm Emily. I'm fat, ugly, and now single." FML

#20440103
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47068) - you deserved it (4165)

On 01/03/2013 at 1:42am - love - by Emily (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was getting a spray tan and realized I didn't have a hair tie, so I used a thong instead. I lost track of time and realized I needed to go pick up my daughter. I threw on my clothes, drove to pick her up, went to the store, and went for ice cream... thong still in my hair. FML

#20438564
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11295) - you deserved it (38751)

On 01/02/2013 at 12:33pm - health - by Embarrassed - United States

Today, my neighbor went on vacation, leaving me in charge of his cat and dog. For some reason, he calls his dog "Cat" and his cat "Dog". There are two pet food containers, one labeled "Cat" and the other labeled "Dog". I have no idea which one goes to which animal. FML

#20437796
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33527) - you deserved it (3609)

On 01/02/2013 at 1:07am - animals - by catdog - United States (California)

Today, my wife and I had a fight, which I thought we resolved. Later, while painting the kitchen, I told her to change into an old shirt she didn't care about. She made a huge show of putting her wedding gown on, veil and all. FML

#20436663
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34835) - you deserved it (4044)

On 01/01/2013 at 4:33pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went shopping. At the counter, the cashier started flirting with me and asked me for my number. He was cute, so I gave it to him. After walking out of the store, I got a text that said, "I didn't want to say it out loud, but your pants are unzipped." FML

#20427288
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30384) - you deserved it (3629)

On 12/28/2012 at 2:49am - misc - by Ren - United States (Ohio)

Today, I received my soccer team jacket that I ordered a month ago. Trying to save money, I'd selected the "no name" option to avoid an extra $20 embroidering fee. My jacket now has "NO NAME" spelled out on the side of it, and I was charged the extra $20 dollars after all. FML

#20415162
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36004) - you deserved it (6802)

On 12/23/2012 at 12:01am - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, after my girlfriend has recently become obsessed with the serial-killer show, Dexter, she has grown an interest in cutting up pomegranates in many different ways and squirting the red, blood-like juice everywhere. I am now afraid to argue with her. FML

#20400460
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24326) - you deserved it (2747)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:33am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my drunk girlfriend maxed out my credit card, on an "authentic" Jesus Christ autograph on eBay. FML

#20397287
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22664) - you deserved it (3587)

On 12/12/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by maxedoutidiot - United States

Today, I woke up to find my best friend lying down and unresponsive. Frightened, I tapped on the glass. He got scared and started swimming again. My best friend is a fish. FML

#20199342
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24228) - you deserved it (5890)

On 12/10/2012 at 5:40pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastmanlands Lan)

Today, I came home to find all of the wood in my house either broken or gone. On the now legless table there was a note from my mother, saying that she needed the wood to build a boat, and that I will thank her when the world ends. FML

#20197527
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23799) - you deserved it (1326)

On 12/09/2012 at 10:29am - misc - by woodless (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had a presentation in French class. I was so nervous, the first thing I said when I got up there was, "Hola." FML

#20193303
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18024) - you deserved it (3218)

On 12/06/2012 at 12:35am - work - by SpanishInFrenchClass (woman) - United States



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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