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  • Mobility

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  • A new thumb

    You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
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  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
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  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
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  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
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  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
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  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
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  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
    3%
  • YDI Master

    You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
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  • Judgmental

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    4%
  • 50 favorites

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    74%
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
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Lmjb3496's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to work 300 miles away from where I live. I couldn't find my customer's address, so I decided to call him. I'd picked up my wireless house phone instead of my mobile. FML

By comphone / Wednesday 19 November 2008 08:00 / France

Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML

By andy - / Monday 28 January 2013 04:36 / United States - Long Beach

Today, at my 6-year-old son's birthday party, I had to explain to my boyfriend that it's not okay to use condoms as party balloons. FML

By Anonymous / Friday 25 January 2013 05:39 / Canada - Ottawa

Today, I led a class of grade-two pupils on an excursion to the zoo. When we went to see the lions I was put in a position where I had to explain to seven and eight year olds why one lion was "bouncing" on top of the other one. FML

By teacher / Friday 25 January 2013 05:25 / Australia - Sydney

Today, feeling lonely after my recent breakup, I put on my nicest clothes and went out clubbing with a few friends. I brought a guy back to my place, and we got intimate. It was going well, until he took off my push-up bra, then panicked and drunkenly asked, "Where'd they go?!" FML

By chase - / Friday 25 January 2013 00:54 / New Zealand - Auckland