About lmbachman : Doing what I do.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Today, I walked in on my mother stroking my cat and murmuring, "Don't worry, kitty. One day, you and I... we will rule." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20843) - you deserved it (1980)
On 06/04/2012 at 8:54pm - animals - by Scared (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I walked in on my mother stroking my cat and murmuring, "Don't worry, kitty. One day, you and I... we will rule." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20843) - you deserved it (1980)
On 06/04/2012 at 8:54pm - animals - by Scared (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I had an unbearable itch on my foot that I could not make go away with my nails, so I grabbed the stapler in my drawer to scratch it with. Bad idea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3812) - you deserved it (29384)
On 06/03/2012 at 1:50am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I woke up to a glorious sunrise. I stood up, took a moment to soak up some sunlight, and then spent the next hour too scared to go make my morning coffee, after my mother loudly moaned, "Ah yeah, give it to me, Woody!" from down the hall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19837) - you deserved it (1434)
On 06/02/2012 at 4:31pm - intimacy - by huh (woman) - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)
Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when he smells bacon as he does when we have sex. Now everytime we have sex, he whispers "Bacon..." in my ear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11019) - you deserved it (23302)
On 06/02/2012 at 6:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)
Today, I found out that my colleagues had replaced my email auto-responder with a message saying, "I'm away for two weeks in Brazil. Due to the surgery, when I return, please address me by my new name: Crystal." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22802) - you deserved it (2306) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 05/31/2012 at 4:19pm - love - by Monsieur-Madame (man) - France (Champagne-Ardenne)
Today, after a surprise candlelit dinner and a two bottles of wine for my birthday, my boyfriend and I decided to take a sexy shower together. It ended with us both drunk, naked, and crying, wedged into a small tub together, talking about our dead pets. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23337) - you deserved it (6330)
On 05/30/2012 at 1:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I am on vacation in the Smoky Mountains with my parents. They just decided to take me to the place I was conceived seventeen years ago: a bench at a public park. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17947) - you deserved it (1371)
On 05/24/2012 at 2:59pm - intimacy - by anon - United States (Texas)
Today, I was browsing the web on my boyfriend's laptop, when I idly clicked a bookmark. It turned out to be his private blog, where he most recently spoke in very creepy detail about his efforts to make me love him, remarking that, "Soon, I'll plant my seed in her breeding hips." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28060) - you deserved it (3450)
On 05/22/2012 at 4:49pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I took the day off work to be with my wife, since she's always bemoaning my lack of romantic gestures. As thanks, she spent most of the day reading Fifty Shades of Grey, which is basically a blatant plagiarism of Twilight, starring a pair of two-dimensional BDSM freaks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13523) - you deserved it (2758)
On 05/22/2012 at 12:11pm - love - by boblaj (man) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)
Today, while in the bathroom, I started absent-mindedly drumming on my thighs. I didn't stop to think that people outside would think I was masturbating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15336) - you deserved it (4977)
On 05/21/2012 at 1:56am - intimacy - by morethanredhands -
Today, after having a pretty rough day, I decided a nice, hot shower would be great. Ten minutes in, the shower head apparently couldn't take the water pressure anymore, and it flew off and hit me in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18698) - you deserved it (1199)
On 05/17/2012 at 5:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, my first date consisted of him and me in the emergency room of the hospital after his little brother hit me in the face with a baseball bat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17706) - you deserved it (176)
On 05/17/2012 at 1:05am - misc - by secret_source (woman) - United States
Today, in a training class, I got to see a picture of what can happen when a man does not wear a safety harness correctly. For those of you who are unaware, male body parts are easily severed by loose straps. I cannot un-see that picture. It wasn't even a harness safety class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13423) - you deserved it (1381)
On 05/16/2012 at 11:53pm - misc - by recmonty - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, I was in the hospital with rib injuries after being rear-ended by a truck. The doc said, "Well, you'll probably feel like you've been hit by a truck for a while." Everyone laughed, except me. When I said he was being insensitive, he replied, "Calm down, I'm just ribbing you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11020) - you deserved it (19364)
On 05/16/2012 at 6:29pm - health - by ...... (man) - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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