lmbachman

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Offline (the 05/01/2016 at 5:16am)

lmbachman

19Fucked!

lmbachman
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3895
  • Number of comments : 198
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 24 posted

About lmbachman : I see you peeking.

lmbachman's page activity

Visits<b>Rababco</b> - the 05/03/2016 at 4:03pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 10:51pm<b>anonymous198913</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 8:27pm<b>bolee997</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 3:37pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 12:40am<b>LuxEtTenebris</b> - the 03/17/2016 at 11:54pm<b>n_a_v_y</b> - the 03/09/2016 at 5:53am<b>Michelle1121</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 7:01am<b>MissDarkness</b> - the 02/29/2016 at 6:21pm<b>EmmaMK</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 5:15pm<b>pupeve</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 11:04am<b>WoodKiller</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 1:22am<b>Tenker</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 12:37am<b>Trup75</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 11:25pm<b>Setareh23</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 3:31pm<b>orcatheseapanda</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 6:15am<b>Lepisma</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 2:08am<b>LivToFail</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 12:35am

Fucked!<b>Michelle1121</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 1:01pm<b>orcatheseapanda</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 12:15pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 8:12pm<b>bigirlsrockoxox</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 4:56am<b>FujisakiChihiro</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 11:08pm<b>WoodKiller</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 4:32pm<b>EmmaMK</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 12:05am<b>pop17123</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 4:15pm<b>FalloutScrolls</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 11:27pm<b>ughlifesuck</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 8:49pm<b>dyoy_87</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 2:32pm<b>eski2015</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 5:05am<b>NarutoLove</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 2:08am<b>lukian</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 10:19pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 12:44am<b>dramaelf</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 8:41pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 6:55am<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 4:44pm

lmbachman's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of lmbachman's badges

lmbachman's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my 4-year-old neighbor that I'm pregnant. His response was to attack me with a stick "for swallowing a baby." Three people had to pull him off. FML

by Baby eater / 05/19/2014 at 8:00pm / United States (Tennessee) / Kids

Today, my boss yet again said she was "literally dying", after she watched a funny video online. Long story short, I'm now on her shitlist because I couldn't help but point out that she clearly wasn't dying, and that her ranting was distracting me from doing actual work. FML

by Anonymous / 05/17/2014 at 12:02pm / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, I finally decided to get my five-year-old son a rabbit, so I explained to him how to take care of it. When I'd finished listing all the things he'd have to do, he replied, "That's too complicated... Couldn't we just eat it instead?" FML

by Anonyme / 05/16/2014 at 3:55am / Canada (Quebec) / Animals

Today, I walked outside to see my boyfriend standing on my porch, looking confused. He explained to me that he had attached a prom proposal note to his pet rabbit, and let it inside my house to find me. We went looking for said rabbit, and found my dog halfway through eating it. FML

by Anonymous / 05/11/2014 at 6:49pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals

Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML

by Anonymous / 05/07/2014 at 10:31pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I saw a cute guy and decided to say hi. As I started to think about things to talk about, one story in particular about a drummer who looked like Jesus stuck out in my mind. I was so nervous that instead of saying hi, I blurted out, "Some people look like Jesus!" and took off. FML

by wondercat40 / 04/24/2014 at 5:19pm / United States (Indiana) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, the man sitting next to me on the train tried to sneak a dead cat into my bag while I was sleeping. FML

by now have a cat / 04/24/2014 at 4:52pm / United States (Illinois) / Animals

Today, my coworker tried to convince my boss that I'm not human. Her examples of how I'm influenced by demons included how I don't wear a jacket in the winter, and that I once got a nosebleed from sneezing. My boss thinks she's hilarious and is playing along. FML

by worker666 / 04/13/2014 at 10:51am / United States / Work

Today, I resorted to the oldest prank in the book: laxatives in the food. Except it wasn't for a prank, but just a desperate attempt to get my clingy boyfriend to leave me the hell alone. I think I'm going to hell. FML

by someone / 04/01/2014 at 3:21pm / United States (West Virginia) / Love

Today, I faced my social anxiety and went to a chip shop on my own. I tried to have a conversation with the owner, but his thick accent made it difficult. He now knows where I live, what college I go to and I'm pretty sure I agreed to go to India with him. FML

by sociallyawkward / 03/26/2014 at 2:06pm / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Miscellaneous

Today, my neighbor called the police for the seventh time because he's convinced I'm a vampire. He's also gotten in the habit of leaving garlic cloves in my yard. My parents come next week. FML

by Vampprobs / 03/24/2014 at 9:52pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was texting an artist friend telling her I wanted to buy her paintings; going on and on about how much I wanted it and loved the way they looked and couldn't wait to have them. I realized my phone had corrected paintings to panties. FML

by BigBlue / 03/19/2014 at 7:19pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my ex just got engaged to a girl he met 3 months ago, shortly before he ended our 5 year relationship. His reason for breaking up was that he didn't believe in marriage and couldn't be with someone who wanted to get married. Right. FML

by Anonymous / 03/18/2014 at 10:56am / Japan / Love

Today, my dad told me that I can't wear leggings on Friday nights, because, "your butt is too distracting for my poker buddies." FML

by JustClaire95 / 03/17/2014 at 7:58am / United States (California) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was babysitting my nephew and we decided to color together. He drew a picture of someone who looked dead, almost zombie-like, while everyone else looked pretty normal. When I asked who it was, he said in a serious, scary voice, "It's you." FML

by BondingTime / 03/17/2014 at 5:51am / United States (Minnesota) / Kids