Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

lmbachman

Online | Search for a member

lmbachman

16Fucked!

lmbachman
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3578
  • Number of comments : 185
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 23 posted

About lmbachman : I see you peeking.

lmbachman's page activity

Visits<b>LivToFail</b> - yesterday at 12:35am<b>QueenBii</b> - yesterday at 6:37pm<b>CorvusVenator</b> - yesterday at 3:33pm<b>lightning20</b> - yesterday at 4:00am<b>bigirlsrockoxox</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 10:56pm<b>EmmaMK</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 7:02pm<b>FujisakiChihiro</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 5:08pm<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 11:00pm<b>lukian</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 12:58am<b>djurmel89</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 1:04pm<b>WoodKiller</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 10:31am<b>Jake42100</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 6:08pm<b>Arieslink</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 9:56pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 6:34am<b>pop17123</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 10:19am<b>FalloutScrolls</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 11:21pm<b>Trup75</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 11:58pm<b>xninix</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 10:17pm

Fucked!<b>bigirlsrockoxox</b> - yesterday at 4:56am<b>FujisakiChihiro</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 11:08pm<b>WoodKiller</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 4:32pm<b>EmmaMK</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 12:05am<b>pop17123</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 4:15pm<b>FalloutScrolls</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 11:27pm<b>ughlifesuck</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 8:49pm<b>dyoy_87</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 2:32pm<b>eski2015</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 5:05am<b>NarutoLove</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 2:08am<b>lukian</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 10:19pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 12:44am<b>dramaelf</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 8:41pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 6:55am<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 4:44pm<b>khoov19</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 7:33pm

lmbachman's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of lmbachman's badges

lmbachman's favorite FMLs

Today, I confronted my girlfriend after catching her cheating on me. After she finished crying, she had the brass balls to say she'd understand if I needed a couple of weeks to forgive her, and asked me for bus fare so she could go tell the other guy they could only be friends now. FML

#21280490
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41374) - you deserved it (3643)

On 10/18/2014 at 2:44pm - love - by yee-whore (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I told my husband that I'm jealous of all the other girls whose husbands always take pictures of them together and post them online. He responded by posting a picture of himself, with me on the toilet in the background, captioned "The bitch on the pot." FML

#21241016
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47280) - you deserved it (18298)

On 08/19/2014 at 2:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my coworkers and I were comparing the backgrounds we have on our phones. They pretty much sum up our love lives; everyone else's background is a photo of their boyfriend or girlfriend. Mine's a photo of a lifeless desert. FML

#21235038
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38892) - you deserved it (4719) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/11/2014 at 3:05pm - love - by Fennec (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got a call from my very drunk boyfriend at 1:30am asking for my permission to have sex with a "gross fat chick" he met at a pub, because he "felt sorry for her". The conversation ended with me getting hung up on because I "don't have a heart". FML

#21232277
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53224) - you deserved it (5115)

On 08/08/2014 at 2:05am - intimacy - by pocketrocket90 (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I woke up to an old lady right outside my open window, saying "Hello in there! Are you sleepy?" I was so startled that I answered her. She screamed. Turns out she's my neighbour's elderly mother, didn't know I was in there, and was talking to my cat. FML

#21201617
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45193) - you deserved it (4488)

On 07/07/2014 at 11:59am - animals - by ADanceWithDavos (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I parked my motorcycle in a parking spot. When I came back, my bike had been moved and was laying on its side with a note saying, "Sorry I dropped your motorcycle I was trying to move it forward so I could park my car because there weren't any other spots." FML

#21197788
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51703) - you deserved it (6494)

On 07/03/2014 at 9:30pm - misc - by AJL - United States

Today, my grandma got a new boyfriend. She dumped the old one because "His wife was taking too long to die." FML

#21195046
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54150) - you deserved it (4618)

On 07/01/2014 at 1:31pm - love - by carebear1228 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I almost got written up for insubordination by my boss. All I did was explain to him that I couldn't help a tourist out because I speak Japanese, not Korean, and that it's not in fact "the same Asian shit" as he seemed to think. FML

#21177954
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46760) - you deserved it (3176)

On 06/17/2014 at 11:28am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I saw a pair of eyes looking at me from my closet. Realizing it must be my cat, I called her. She immediately came out from under my bed. I can't find anything in my closet. FML

#21155508
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63801) - you deserved it (4929)

On 05/29/2014 at 2:46am - animals - by Idk (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I told my 4-year-old neighbor that I'm pregnant. His response was to attack me with a stick "for swallowing a baby." Three people had to pull him off. FML

#21145558
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49694) - you deserved it (5660)

On 05/19/2014 at 8:00pm - kids - by Baby eater - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boss yet again said she was "literally dying", after she watched a funny video online. Long story short, I'm now on her shitlist because I couldn't help but point out that she clearly wasn't dying, and that her ranting was distracting me from doing actual work. FML

#21142829
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36240) - you deserved it (17815)

On 05/17/2014 at 12:02pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I walked outside to see my boyfriend standing on my porch, looking confused. He explained to me that he had attached a prom proposal note to his pet rabbit, and let it inside my house to find me. We went looking for said rabbit, and found my dog halfway through eating it. FML

#21136990
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56235) - you deserved it (5241)

On 05/11/2014 at 6:49pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML

#21133668
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66658) - you deserved it (15590)

On 05/07/2014 at 10:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I saw a cute guy and decided to say hi. As I started to think about things to talk about, one story in particular about a drummer who looked like Jesus stuck out in my mind. I was so nervous that instead of saying hi, I blurted out, "Some people look like Jesus!" and took off. FML



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: