Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

lmbachman

Online | Search for a member

lmbachman

16Fucked!

lmbachman
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3574
  • Number of comments : 185
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 23 posted

About lmbachman : I see you peeking.

lmbachman's page activity

Visits<b>LivToFail</b> - 19 hours ago<b>QueenBii</b> - yesterday at 6:37pm<b>CorvusVenator</b> - yesterday at 3:33pm<b>lightning20</b> - yesterday at 4:00am<b>bigirlsrockoxox</b> - yesterday at 10:56pm<b>EmmaMK</b> - yesterday at 7:02pm<b>FujisakiChihiro</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 5:08pm<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 11:00pm<b>lukian</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 12:58am<b>djurmel89</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 1:04pm<b>WoodKiller</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 10:31am<b>Jake42100</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 6:08pm<b>Arieslink</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 9:56pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 6:34am<b>pop17123</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 10:19am<b>FalloutScrolls</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 11:21pm<b>Trup75</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 11:58pm<b>xninix</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 10:17pm

Fucked!<b>bigirlsrockoxox</b> - yesterday at 4:56am<b>FujisakiChihiro</b> - yesterday at 11:08pm<b>WoodKiller</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 4:32pm<b>EmmaMK</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 12:05am<b>pop17123</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 4:15pm<b>FalloutScrolls</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 11:27pm<b>ughlifesuck</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 8:49pm<b>dyoy_87</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 2:32pm<b>eski2015</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 5:05am<b>NarutoLove</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 2:08am<b>lukian</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 10:19pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 12:44am<b>dramaelf</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 8:41pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 6:55am<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 4:44pm<b>khoov19</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 7:33pm

lmbachman's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of lmbachman's badges

lmbachman's favorite FMLs

Today, I am struggling with exhaustion due to insomnia. The reason I cannot sleep is crippling anxiety - not about my complicated romantic situation, my pileup of work, or even my relationship with my father. No, I'm afraid of a blind ship captain I saw in a dream three days ago. FML

#21327341
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25990) - you deserved it (4689)

On 12/30/2014 at 6:47pm - health - by insomniacap (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, a very drunk woman at the family Christmas party told me she felt terrible that I don't have a mother who cares about me. She is my mother. FML

#21324062
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34248) - you deserved it (2330)

On 12/25/2014 at 3:20pm - misc - by anon - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, on a first date with a guy, I spilled ice cream all over my pants. He bought me some more, and as I was thanking him, he said, "You've never had a guy treat you right, have you?" I said no and started crying. FML

#21322290
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42899) - you deserved it (4981)

On 12/22/2014 at 8:28pm - love - by Soulara89 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, after months of saving, I went to buy the wedding ring I promised to buy my fiancée. Just seconds after I walked in, the owner asked me to leave, saying he doesn't serve "trash" like me, while pointing at the memorial tattoo on the back of my hand. FML

#21316839
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36030) - you deserved it (3497)

On 12/13/2014 at 3:21pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I took out my old hairdryer and turned it on. I then gave my roommate a show as I ran out of the bathroom, naked and screaming, after a spider was blasted out of the hairdryer and directly at my face. FML

#21316166
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34417) - you deserved it (4381)

On 12/12/2014 at 11:35am - misc - by lateralligator - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my son got in trouble at school. The kids had to solve a problem by determining whether it was better for "Edna" to repair or replace her AC unit. He said Edna is an "old person's name" and she was "probably going to die soon anyway", so she shouldn't do either. FML

#21315591
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30451) - you deserved it (3781)

On 12/11/2014 at 1:10pm - kids - by MedStudent90 - United States (Minnesota)

Today, like any other day since that stupid movie Frozen came out, people have been asking me if I want to build a snowman, like they're the funniest people on the planet. My name is Elsa. FML

#21297408
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47194) - you deserved it (4361)

On 11/11/2014 at 11:34pm - work - by elsatheannoyed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I saw a long black hair coming out of the drain. Thinking it was my sister's, I called her in and pulled it out for her to see, only to realize I was actually pulling out a long brown roach by the antenna. FML

#21296899
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37310) - you deserved it (4953)

On 11/11/2014 at 11:56am - animals - by izzy46111 - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend endearingly told me that he's been taking advantage of my inability to smell due to a head cold, and he's been farting around me whenever he pleases. FML

#21294499
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33513) - you deserved it (4655)

On 11/08/2014 at 2:36am - love - by sickyandiknowit - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was sick and had soccer trials on the same day. At the soccer trials, the coach called me over and told me I was doing really good and to keep it up. I said thanks and vomited on him. FML

#21293843
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35452) - you deserved it (3244)

On 11/07/2014 at 12:47am - health - by jj - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was in the middle of a shower, and downstairs I heard my 7 year old daughter screaming "Mom!! Help! I need you right now!" I panicked and ran downstairs, not giving myself enough time to put some clothing on. It was my neighbor at the door. FML

#21293802
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36222) - you deserved it (3683)

On 11/06/2014 at 11:29pm - kids - by ozozl - United States (Colorado)

Today, after my shower, I went to clear off my fogged-up mirror. Doing so, I noticed a handprint on it. I compared it to my hand, but it was much too small. I live alone. FML

#21292770
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39082) - you deserved it (2630)

On 11/05/2014 at 3:44pm - misc - by spooked - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I took my girlfriend for what I thought would be a romantic horse-drawn carriage ride. We didn't expect the horse to die in the middle of it. FML

#21286332
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53210) - you deserved it (4095)

On 10/27/2014 at 2:48pm - love - by subduedbeast - United States

Today, let's just say it's not always a good idea to storm into your mum's bedroom after hearing several loud slaps accompanied by yelps. What sounds like domestic violence might just be your mum and step-dad's foreplay. For Christ's sake, I need brain bleach. FML

#21285126
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40481) - you deserved it (9363)

On 10/25/2014 at 5:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: