lmbachman

Search for a member

Offline (the 05/01/2016 at 5:16am)

lmbachman

19Fucked!

lmbachman
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3894
  • Number of comments : 198
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 24 posted

About lmbachman : I see you peeking.

lmbachman's page activity

Visits<b>Rababco</b> - yesterday at 4:03pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 10:51pm<b>anonymous198913</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 8:27pm<b>bolee997</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 3:37pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 12:40am<b>LuxEtTenebris</b> - the 03/17/2016 at 11:54pm<b>n_a_v_y</b> - the 03/09/2016 at 5:53am<b>Michelle1121</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 7:01am<b>MissDarkness</b> - the 02/29/2016 at 6:21pm<b>EmmaMK</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 5:15pm<b>pupeve</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 11:04am<b>WoodKiller</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 1:22am<b>Tenker</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 12:37am<b>Trup75</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 11:25pm<b>Setareh23</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 3:31pm<b>orcatheseapanda</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 6:15am<b>Lepisma</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 2:08am<b>LivToFail</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 12:35am

Fucked!<b>Michelle1121</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 1:01pm<b>orcatheseapanda</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 12:15pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 8:12pm<b>bigirlsrockoxox</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 4:56am<b>FujisakiChihiro</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 11:08pm<b>WoodKiller</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 4:32pm<b>EmmaMK</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 12:05am<b>pop17123</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 4:15pm<b>FalloutScrolls</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 11:27pm<b>ughlifesuck</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 8:49pm<b>dyoy_87</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 2:32pm<b>eski2015</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 5:05am<b>NarutoLove</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 2:08am<b>lukian</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 10:19pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 12:44am<b>dramaelf</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 8:41pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 6:55am<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 4:44pm

lmbachman's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of lmbachman's badges

lmbachman's favorite FMLs

Today, at our wedding, instead of saying "I do", my fiancé paused before saying, "I can't do this", stepped down from the altar and proposed to my maid of honor. When she obviously refused, he ran from the venue bawling. He's not returning my calls. FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2015 at 12:46am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, it was my birthday. It was also the only day my family wanted to hold the graveside funeral for my grandmother who passed last week. FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2015 at 12:09am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to try to convince my roommate that, yes, you do need to use dish soap when you hand wash dishes because of bacteria in old food. She still won't believe me, insisting that, "there's no such thing as bacteria in food". FML

by seriously_CAT / 10/20/2015 at 10:26pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I noticed a guy checking out my ass in the mirror behind the bar where I work. He was cute, so I thought I'd put on a little show. I bent over to reach for something near the floor, which caused me to let rip a series of uncontrollable farts, like popping bubble wrap. He quickly left. FML

by bubblewrap / 10/20/2015 at 6:13am / United Kingdom (Swindon) / Love

Today, I laughed about a fold in my girlfriend's jeans that felt like she had a tiny boner. She started crying. Turns out she has a slight deformity. Oops. Explains why we've been taking it so slow. FML

by Anonymous / 10/16/2015 at 4:39am / Australia / Love

Today, I got nearly kicked out of the room I rent because I refuse to close my curtains at night. Apparently, my landlady thinks it doesn't look nice when people pass by and look. My room is on the third floor and I just want to see the stars. FML

by Anonymous / 10/15/2015 at 4:34pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, during dinner with my wife's family, my daughter suddenly yelled, "DADDY TICKLES MOMMY'S BUM BUM!" I don't think I've ever received dirtier glares in my life. FML

by shh / 10/09/2015 at 3:06am / United States (Arizona) / Kids

Today, my mother felt the need to remind me not to fall in love with a fictional character. After laughing and reassuring her that I knew the difference between fiction and reality, she replied, "You know, honey, sometimes I'm not so sure." FML

by DontBeRude / 09/28/2015 at 12:05am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my dog vomited a writhing mass of maggots. It was the most disgusting thing I've ever smelled, and I was baffled as to where she found a maggot infested dead thing to eat. Baffled, until my mom reminded me that my cat has been missing, presumed dead, for over a week. FML

by wormsmeat / 09/17/2015 at 5:08pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, I told my nephew to be careful when crossing the street in front of a bus because it might eat him. We then watched as a bus slowed down and stopped in front of a group of people. When the bus moved away, all the people were gone. My nephew is terrified, and won't stop crying. FML

by busmonster / 09/11/2015 at 8:32pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids

Today, I got a phone call letting me know my grandmother was arrested for trying to light my grandpa on fire. She's now in jail, asking for bail money. FML

by tkoester / 08/29/2015 at 12:29am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, a cute guy approached me at a nightclub. I was really excited, until he drunkenly slurred "Babe, I'd suck the farts from your asshole!" and then threw up everywhere. FML

by Brooke / 08/14/2015 at 12:50pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, at my grandmother's funeral, my senile grandfather kept asking me "Where's granny? I've been looking for her, but I can't find her." FML

by Anonymous / 08/14/2015 at 11:08am / Denmark / Miscellaneous

Today, frustrated with my very energetic kids, I told them that if they dug a hole deep enough in the backyard, they'd find China. What they really found was the previous owner's dog. FML

by pheonixxe / 06/01/2015 at 6:45pm / United States (Wyoming) / Kids

Today, a couple asked me donate my eggs so they could start a family. When I refused, I was called heartless by my ex-husband and the woman he cheated on me with for over two years. FML

by Anonymous / 05/16/2015 at 1:46pm / United Kingdom (Southampton) / Miscellaneous