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lmbachman

Offline (yesterday at 5:56am) | Search for a member

lmbachman

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2785
  • Number of comments : 141
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About lmbachman : I see you peeking.

lmbachman's page activity

Visits<b>Shemp_5</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 5:07pm<b>BryanTheLionFly</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 3:59pm<b>MoisesCervantes</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 5:31pm<b>Phabia</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 2:00am<b>mimi_tenten</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 4:52pm<b>katertott</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 1:35pm<b>daveydavidson111</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 1:52am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 10:09am<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 5:52pm<b>chloe1737</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 1:22am<b>jrmertz00</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 8:09am<b>Malteser95</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 4:12pm<b>ScratchCatPower</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 10:23pm<b>raven83</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 12:58pm<b>Matheo</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 4:10pm<b>kikoma</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 4:04pm<b>dakatabg</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 11:02pm<b>kaiboi702</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 1:05am

Fucked!<b>martin8337</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 6:55am<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 4:44pm<b>khoov19</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 7:33pm

lmbachman's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of lmbachman's badges

lmbachman's favorite FMLs

Today, like any other day since that stupid movie Frozen came out, people have been asking me if I want to build a snowman, like they're the funniest people on the planet. My name is Elsa. FML

#21297408
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44252) - you deserved it (3864)

On 11/11/2014 at 11:34pm - work - by elsatheannoyed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I saw a long black hair coming out of the drain. Thinking it was my sister's, I called her in and pulled it out for her to see, only to realize I was actually pulling out a long brown roach by the antenna. FML

#21296899
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34343) - you deserved it (4400)

On 11/11/2014 at 11:56am - animals - by izzy46111 - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend endearingly told me that he's been taking advantage of my inability to smell due to a head cold, and he's been farting around me whenever he pleases. FML

#21294499
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31015) - you deserved it (4339)

On 11/08/2014 at 2:36am - love - by sickyandiknowit - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was sick and had soccer trials on the same day. At the soccer trials, the coach called me over and told me I was doing really good and to keep it up. I said thanks and vomited on him. FML

#21293843
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33488) - you deserved it (3114)

On 11/07/2014 at 12:47am - health - by jj - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was in the middle of a shower, and downstairs I heard my 7 year old daughter screaming "Mom!! Help! I need you right now!" I panicked and ran downstairs, not giving myself enough time to put some clothing on. It was my neighbor at the door. FML

#21293802
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34939) - you deserved it (3552)

On 11/06/2014 at 11:29pm - kids - by ozozl - United States (Colorado)

Today, after my shower, I went to clear off my fogged-up mirror. Doing so, I noticed a handprint on it. I compared it to my hand, but it was much too small. I live alone. FML

#21292770
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36569) - you deserved it (2434)

On 11/05/2014 at 3:44pm - misc - by spooked - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I took my girlfriend for what I thought would be a romantic horse-drawn carriage ride. We didn't expect the horse to die in the middle of it. FML

#21286332
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49387) - you deserved it (3484)

On 10/27/2014 at 2:48pm - love - by subduedbeast - United States

Today, let's just say it's not always a good idea to storm into your mum's bedroom after hearing several loud slaps accompanied by yelps. What sounds like domestic violence might just be your mum and step-dad's foreplay. For Christ's sake, I need brain bleach. FML

#21285126
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38951) - you deserved it (9110)

On 10/25/2014 at 5:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I confronted my girlfriend after catching her cheating on me. After she finished crying, she had the brass balls to say she'd understand if I needed a couple of weeks to forgive her, and asked me for bus fare so she could go tell the other guy they could only be friends now. FML

#21280490
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37841) - you deserved it (3059)

On 10/18/2014 at 2:44pm - love - by yee-whore (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I told my husband that I'm jealous of all the other girls whose husbands always take pictures of them together and post them online. He responded by posting a picture of himself, with me on the toilet in the background, captioned "The bitch on the pot." FML

#21241016
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46206) - you deserved it (17906)

On 08/19/2014 at 2:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my coworkers and I were comparing the backgrounds we have on our phones. They pretty much sum up our love lives; everyone else's background is a photo of their boyfriend or girlfriend. Mine's a photo of a lifeless desert. FML

#21235038
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36443) - you deserved it (4468) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/11/2014 at 3:05pm - love - by Fennec (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got a call from my very drunk boyfriend at 1:30am asking for my permission to have sex with a "gross fat chick" he met at a pub, because he "felt sorry for her". The conversation ended with me getting hung up on because I "don't have a heart". FML

#21232277
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48793) - you deserved it (4568)

On 08/08/2014 at 2:05am - intimacy - by pocketrocket90 (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I woke up to an old lady right outside my open window, saying "Hello in there! Are you sleepy?" I was so startled that I answered her. She screamed. Turns out she's my neighbour's elderly mother, didn't know I was in there, and was talking to my cat. FML

#21201617
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43131) - you deserved it (4313)

On 07/07/2014 at 11:59am - animals - by ADanceWithDavos (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I parked my motorcycle in a parking spot. When I came back, my bike had been moved and was laying on its side with a note saying, "Sorry I dropped your motorcycle I was trying to move it forward so I could park my car because there weren't any other spots." FML

#21197788
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50613) - you deserved it (6403)

On 07/03/2014 at 9:30pm - misc - by AJL - United States

Today, my grandma got a new boyfriend. She dumped the old one because "His wife was taking too long to die." FML

#21195046
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53132) - you deserved it (4547)

On 07/01/2014 at 1:31pm - love - by carebear1228 (woman) - United States (California)



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