Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

lmbachman

Online | Search for a member

lmbachman

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1057
  • Number of comments : 105
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About lmbachman : Doing what I do.

lmbachman's page activity

Visits<b>cotteb</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 1:58pm<b>yeannie</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 11:30pm<b>gurbism</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 2:36pm<b>FunnyDude1215</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 1:44pm<b>killerkcpup</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 12:16pm<b>TheRealHarleyCat</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 8:44am<b>xokpxo</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 5:17pm<b>KILLROY570</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 9:28am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 8:50pm<b>MrItalia</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 7:12am<b>mzweier</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 12:51pm<b>crazykitty121</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 3:15am<b>conman531</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 9:40am<b>tymarie2012</b> - the 10/21/2013 at 4:25am<b>pantherfan0877</b> - the 09/04/2013 at 5:37am<b>IndridCold</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 2:43pm<b>Domo17</b> - the 08/25/2013 at 10:29pm<b>lewisite</b> - the 08/13/2013 at 8:47pm

lmbachman's FML badges

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of lmbachman's badges

lmbachman's favorite FMLs

Today, like any other day since that stupid movie Frozen came out, people have been asking me if I want to build a snowman, like they're the funniest people on the planet. My name is Elsa. FML

#21297408
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42735) - you deserved it (3799)

On 11/11/2014 at 11:34pm - work - by elsatheannoyed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I saw a long black hair coming out of the drain. Thinking it was my sister's, I called her in and pulled it out for her to see, only to realize I was actually pulling out a long brown roach by the antenna. FML

#21296899
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33601) - you deserved it (4362)

On 11/11/2014 at 11:56am - animals - by izzy46111 - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend endearingly told me that he's been taking advantage of my inability to smell due to a head cold, and he's been farting around me whenever he pleases. FML

#21294499
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30258) - you deserved it (4081)

On 11/08/2014 at 2:36am - love - by sickyandiknowit - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was sick and had soccer trials on the same day. At the soccer trials, the coach called me over and told me I was doing really good and to keep it up. I said thanks and vomited on him. FML

#21293843
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32531) - you deserved it (2856)

On 11/07/2014 at 12:47am - health - by jj - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was in the middle of a shower, and downstairs I heard my 7 year old daughter screaming "Mom!! Help! I need you right now!" I panicked and ran downstairs, not giving myself enough time to put some clothing on. It was my neighbor at the door. FML

#21293802
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32877) - you deserved it (3182)

On 11/06/2014 at 11:29pm - kids - by ozozl - United States (Colorado)

Today, after my shower, I went to clear off my fogged-up mirror. Doing so, I noticed a handprint on it. I compared it to my hand, but it was much too small. I live alone. FML

#21292770
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35525) - you deserved it (2184)

On 11/05/2014 at 3:44pm - misc - by spooked - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I took my girlfriend for what I thought would be a romantic horse-drawn carriage ride. We didn't expect the horse to die in the middle of it. FML

#21286332
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48758) - you deserved it (3461)

On 10/27/2014 at 2:48pm - love - by subduedbeast - United States

Today, let's just say it's not always a good idea to storm into your mum's bedroom after hearing several loud slaps accompanied by yelps. What sounds like domestic violence might just be your mum and step-dad's foreplay. For Christ's sake, I need brain bleach. FML

#21285126
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34067) - you deserved it (7691)

On 10/25/2014 at 5:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I confronted my girlfriend after catching her cheating on me. After she finished crying, she had the brass balls to say she'd understand if I needed a couple of weeks to forgive her, and asked me for bus fare so she could go tell the other guy they could only be friends now. FML

#21280490
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37511) - you deserved it (3045)

On 10/18/2014 at 2:44pm - love - by yee-whore (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I told my husband that I'm jealous of all the other girls whose husbands always take pictures of them together and post them online. He responded by posting a picture of himself, with me on the toilet in the background, captioned "The bitch on the pot." FML

#21241016
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43600) - you deserved it (16573)

On 08/19/2014 at 2:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my coworkers and I were comparing the backgrounds we have on our phones. They pretty much sum up our love lives; everyone else's background is a photo of their boyfriend or girlfriend. Mine's a photo of a lifeless desert. FML

#21235038
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36259) - you deserved it (4451) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/11/2014 at 3:05pm - love - by Fennec (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got a call from my very drunk boyfriend at 1:30am asking for my permission to have sex with a "gross fat chick" he met at a pub, because he "felt sorry for her". The conversation ended with me getting hung up on because I "don't have a heart". FML

#21232277
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48073) - you deserved it (4538)

On 08/08/2014 at 2:05am - intimacy - by pocketrocket90 (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I woke up to an old lady right outside my open window, saying "Hello in there! Are you sleepy?" I was so startled that I answered her. She screamed. Turns out she's my neighbour's elderly mother, didn't know I was in there, and was talking to my cat. FML

#21201617
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42430) - you deserved it (4249)

On 07/07/2014 at 11:59am - animals - by ADanceWithDavos (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I parked my motorcycle in a parking spot. When I came back, my bike had been moved and was laying on its side with a note saying, "Sorry I dropped your motorcycle I was trying to move it forward so I could park my car because there weren't any other spots." FML

#21197788
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48856) - you deserved it (6204)

On 07/03/2014 at 9:30pm - misc - by AJL - United States

Today, my grandma got a new boyfriend. She dumped the old one because "His wife was taking too long to die." FML

#21195046
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51333) - you deserved it (4404)

On 07/01/2014 at 1:31pm - love - by carebear1228 (woman) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: