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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
llamafish's favorite FMLs
by Jonas / 06/06/2012 at 1:00am / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, I approached a cute girl at a club, when she started barking at me like a rabid dog. Thinking she might be mentally unhinged, I left, only to see the same girl laughing her ass off with her friends minutes later. When I went back over, her friends started barking at me too. FML
by Anonymous / 06/05/2012 at 3:34pm / United States (Idaho) / Miscellaneous
Today, Child Protective Services came to my house, because my 7-year-old son told people at school that he was uncomfortable sleeping in his uncle's bed. I had to explain to them that the uncle in question died 2 years ago, and that's why it felt weird. FML
by Anonymous / 06/01/2012 at 3:02am / United States / Kids
Today, I found out that my colleagues had replaced my email auto-responder with a message saying, "I'm away for two weeks in Brazil. Due to the surgery, when I return, please address me by my new name: Crystal." FML
by Monsieur-Madame / 05/31/2012 at 4:19pm / France (Champagne-Ardenne) / Love
by gonavybeatarmy / 05/31/2012 at 1:28am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my wife allowed my mother-in-law to move in with us. She believes the government spies on her in the shower, and that the Prime Minister is a shape-shifting lizard who wants to microchip us all. I have to live with this psychotic wench until someone is desperate enough to employ her. FML
by fuq / 05/22/2012 at 2:42pm / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up after a long night of drinking with my friends. I vaguely remembered visiting a tattoo parlour, but nothing prepared me for the sight of the words "YOLO" and "MOFO" tattooed across the fingers of my left and right hands. Now I'm officially a bandwagoning douchebag. FML
by Anonymous / 05/16/2012 at 5:56pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/14/2012 at 11:52pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/13/2012 at 11:12am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by Eric Ngan / 05/12/2012 at 12:01pm / Singapore / Animals
Today, I was heading to the bathroom when I clearly saw a little boy walking into my bedroom. My wife and I live alone, and I screamed at the top of my lungs, thinking he was a ghost. Turns out my wife collected him from school for a friend, and I just didn't hear them arrive. FML
by rongo12 / 05/11/2012 at 5:41pm / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/07/2012 at 10:52pm / United States / Money
Today, the Star Wars Cantina song had been stuck in my head since I woke up, as my brother was humming it. I finally managed to get it out of my head. Then my mom started to whistle it. It's stuck in my head again. FML
by Anonymous / 05/07/2012 at 7:52pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Kwalker3 / 05/06/2012 at 2:39am / United States (California) / Intimacy
- Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. My phone started ringing and it was my Mom, she said I… Today, my mom walks into my room, with a serious look on her face asks me "When a man is getting it… Today, my mom decided the time was right to give me the sex talk. Towards the end, I had to excuse…
- Today, I got pizza on the way home from a night out after a few beers and not eating all day. I got… Today, I found out that my lazy, deadbeat sister is pregnant. This will be her third child with as… Today, I got a little cut on my hand. I went to the bathroom and washed it, then checked the first…