Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About llamafish : (Insert obligatory stalker accusation here)
I'm just a random person, who does random things, at random times. Randomly.
What? You want more? Fine. Erm... How about some lists! Yeah!
Things I enjoy:
-The colour purple
-Smashing the hopes and dreams of those around me
Things I hate:
-Medium sized children
-Children in general
-Pepl hoo tok lyk dis
-The fact that Pluto is now to be referred to as "a dwarf planet", and star fish are now to be referred to as "sea stars".
-Not too fond of you either
Just kidding about that last one. Maybe. Depends on who you are.
Alright. Peace out. You've learned all you need to know about me.
Seriously. Go. Be free.
...Fine. Stay. See if I care. Just don't go breaking anything, you hear? Good.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
Today, I discovered that instead of being a harmless way to relax after a rough day, parking in an empty lot apparently means you are either dealing drugs or want to commit suicide. I was detained, my car was searched and I was grilled about my happiness. Great stress relief, eh? FML
Today, my crush walked me home. As my mom opens the door, she tells me in Russian how ugly he is, and that I have extremely bad taste. Out of all the languages in the world, he happens to be fluent in Russian. FML
Today, I came home from a four day trip. Apparently, my cat thought I was gone for good and is now very unhappy that I'm home. I know this because she has been positioning herself between me and my husband all night, and hisses every time I try to touch him. He thinks it's hilarious. FML
Today, I took my dogs to an empty park. While they were running around, I laid down in the grass to read a book. Someone thought I was a dead body and called the cops. The police and paramedics showed up. This is the second time it's happened. FML
Today, I was emptying the cutlery section of the dishwasher when I reached down and accidentally got the tip of a steak knife wedged half-way under my fingernail. My mum yelled at me for getting blood on the clean dishes. FML
Today, I went with my family to go see a notoriously creepy abandoned house. We noticed the people had left a lot of stuff behind so we loaded up the car with books, records, etc. As we were leaving, we saw the family who lived there drive up. I robbed a house with my grandma. FML
Today, I decided to try something new and sign up for an online dating service, since I can't meet a decent guy in person. The first guy I talked to told me he used to be in a mental hospital for obsessing over a girl, then told me he would be dreaming of me that night. FML
Today, I found out I've been incorrectly sorting thousands of papers for the past two weeks. My boss wanted them sorted by date, but the co-worker who instructed me said to sort them into alphabetical order just to watch me fail. FML
Friday 18 April 2014