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About llamafish : (Insert obligatory stalker accusation here)
I'm just a random person, who does random things, at random times. Randomly.
What? You want more? Fine. Erm... How about some lists! Yeah!
Things I enjoy:
-The colour purple
-Smashing the hopes and dreams of those around me
Things I hate:
-Medium sized children
-Children in general
-Pepl hoo tok lyk dis
-The fact that Pluto is now to be referred to as "a dwarf planet", and star fish are now to be referred to as "sea stars".
-Not too fond of you either
Just kidding about that last one. Maybe. Depends on who you are.
Alright. Peace out. You've learned all you need to know about me.
Seriously. Go. Be free.
...Fine. Stay. See if I care. Just don't go breaking anything, you hear? Good.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
Today, my mom took away my medication. She's afraid I'll get "hooked". The medication is anti-anxiety pills. I have horrible anxiety attacks that sometimes cause me to scratch my arms until they bleed. FML
Today, I bought a pretty blue parakeet to keep my parrot company, and named her Sky. I went to work a few hours later. When I came home that night, I found my parrot dead. There wasn't a huge mess to clean, though; Sky had already eaten half of his corpse. FML
Today, a friend and I saw some deer outside my car. Since we were both leaving for college the next day we wanted to do something memorable so we decided to chase the deer. Turns out the deer wanted to chase us too. We ran for over five minutes screaming. FML
Today, I went to the ER after a fall. Before the nurse did an X-Ray, she gave me a pregnancy test. It came back negative. I joked "No martians have crawled into my uterus, then?" She didn't get it, and I had my head scanned for brain trauma. Never crack a joke in a hospital. FML
Today, when I went to pick my kid up from daycare, I found out that he had run away. The rest of my afternoon consisted of me screaming his name, looking for him. I then returned to the daycare center. He thought it would be funny if he hid in the trash. FML
Today, my boss and I were stacking boxes in the back room of the store. One of the boxes fell and hit me in the face, causing me to lose my glasses. My boss stepped on my glasses as she ran to check the box for broken merchandise, which I then had to pay for. FML
Today, I reactivated my Facebook account, having not used it for three months. My "friends" didn't realize this. According to their recent status updates, I'm disgustingly fat, have a hook nose, and I'm secretly hated. FML
Tuesday 22 July 2014