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About llamafish : (Insert obligatory stalker accusation here)
I'm just a random person, who does random things, at random times. Randomly.
What? You want more? Fine. Erm... How about some lists! Yeah!
Things I enjoy:
-The colour purple
-Smashing the hopes and dreams of those around me
Things I hate:
-Medium sized children
-Children in general
-Pepl hoo tok lyk dis
-The fact that Pluto is now to be referred to as "a dwarf planet", and star fish are now to be referred to as "sea stars".
-Not too fond of you either
Just kidding about that last one. Maybe. Depends on who you are.
Alright. Peace out. You've learned all you need to know about me.
Seriously. Go. Be free.
...Fine. Stay. See if I care. Just don't go breaking anything, you hear? Good.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
Today, I spoke to my hormonal pregnant wife about baby names. I told her I liked the name "Tabitha", and she went into a full rage about how all letters have textures, colours and emotions and how T is an evil letter. Apparently it's orange, plastic, and a needle trying to stab her eyes out. FML
Today, my wife, who is four months pregnant, burst into tears while thinking about the armchair in our living room that we never use. According to her, we're stopping it from living out its destiny as an armchair. FML
Today, I walked into my roommate's room to ask him a question, only to see a pitcher with over a pint of urine in it sitting on his bookcase. This is at least the fifth conversation in a year I've had with him about not peeing in containers in his room. FML
Today, I saw a large spider carry away the body of a dead spider in the bathroom. In my anthropology class, we learned one of the first signs of civilization is caring for the dead. First, they become civilized, and next, they take over. I will never sleep again. FML
Today, I was so out of it from a lack of sleep and an accidental antihistamine overdose, I tried to offer my cat a cup of tea, and actually got pissed off when he didn't reply. It took me a good five minutes to understand what just happened. FML
Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML
Tuesday 22 July 2014