Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

llamafish

Search for a member

llamafish

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 5 November 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4586
  • Number of comments : 389
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About llamafish : (Insert obligatory stalker accusation here)

I'm just a random person, who does random things, at random times. Randomly.

What? You want more? Fine. Erm... How about some lists! Yeah!

Things I enjoy:
-Darkness
-Anime
-Penguins
-The colour purple
-Eating bacon
-Zebras
-Irony
-Smashing the hopes and dreams of those around me
-Pie

Things I hate:
-Sunlight
-Small children
-Large children
-Medium sized children
-Children in general
-Pepl hoo tok lyk dis
-The fact that Pluto is now to be referred to as "a dwarf planet", and star fish are now to be referred to as "sea stars".
-Making lists
-Not too fond of you either

Just kidding about that last one. Maybe. Depends on who you are.

Alright. Peace out. You've learned all you need to know about me.



Seriously. Go. Be free.






...Fine. Stay. See if I care. Just don't go breaking anything, you hear? Good.

llamafish's page activity

Visits<b>homesuckfucker</b> - 5 hours ago<b>Hawk42</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 5:59pm<b>unphotogenic</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 4:56pm<b>taintedtruffle</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 12:18pm<b>Jake3752</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 10:48pm<b>Roaryah</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 9:33pm<b>Shiny_nickels</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 6:19pm<b>timotay89</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 9:11am<b>awesomepantTamia</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 1:14am<b>Soloman212</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 1:33am<b>euphoricness</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 5:21pm<b>CammyGal</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 10:14am<b>snipesnaker31</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 1:04am<b>miss_kay07</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 8:27pm<b>maxwellkids</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 11:21am<b>FirstTigerHobbes</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 3:44pm<b>warsun</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 5:21am<b>euphoriagorillaz</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 3:45am

llamafish's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of llamafish's badges

llamafish's favorite FMLs

Today, my thoughts that I'm going crazy were confirmed when I got into the shower with my socks on. The worst part is that I didn't realize it for a good five minutes. FML

#19944321
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18691) - you deserved it (4811)

On 07/16/2012 at 4:12am - health - by goincrazy - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my dad sat me down for a talk. After the talk, he wasn't my dad anymore. FML

#19942597
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39762) - you deserved it (1844)

On 07/15/2012 at 8:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I'm sitting in the ER with my eight-year-old son. He broke his arm after jumping out through the second story window. He was too impatient to walk to the ice cream van pulling up outside. FML

#19932634
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25494) - you deserved it (2861)

On 07/13/2012 at 1:08pm - kids - by Marjorie (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I spoke to my hormonal pregnant wife about baby names. I told her I liked the name "Tabitha", and she went into a full rage about how all letters have textures, colours and emotions and how T is an evil letter. Apparently it's orange, plastic, and a needle trying to stab her eyes out. FML

#19913255
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25995) - you deserved it (3554)

On 07/09/2012 at 3:31am - kids - by LNamesOnly (man) - Australia

Today, my mom and I somehow got into a serious argument over the ethics of capturing and training Pokémon. FML

#19910380
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18598) - you deserved it (6725)

On 07/08/2012 at 5:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I walked into my roommate's room to ask him a question, only to see a pitcher with over a pint of urine in it sitting on his bookcase. This is at least the fifth conversation in a year I've had with him about not peeing in containers in his room. FML

#19892824
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19009) - you deserved it (1680)

On 07/04/2012 at 10:55pm - misc - by notestojenn - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed making out. He then tried to unhook my bra. After a full minute of trying unsuccessfully, he shouted "Fuck you, bra!" before hiding his face in the pillows. FML

#19877341
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33140) - you deserved it (4789)

On 07/01/2012 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I was T-boned at an intersection. In an ambulance. On the way to the hospital after being T-boned at an intersection. FML

#19873048
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36531) - you deserved it (1680)

On 06/30/2012 at 8:31pm - health - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I saw a large spider carry away the body of a dead spider in the bathroom. In my anthropology class, we learned one of the first signs of civilization is caring for the dead. First, they become civilized, and next, they take over. I will never sleep again. FML

Today, I finally achieved the perfect hourglass figure. Too bad I'm a guy. FML

#19844120
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21264) - you deserved it (4861)

On 06/25/2012 at 10:05am - misc - by Wwiimaniac (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was so out of it from a lack of sleep and an accidental antihistamine overdose, I tried to offer my cat a cup of tea, and actually got pissed off when he didn't reply. It took me a good five minutes to understand what just happened. FML

#19817936
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21924) - you deserved it (5808)

On 06/20/2012 at 10:09am - animals - by anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend got a Twitter account. Now she won't stop hashtagging everything she sends me. FML

#19811531
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18797) - you deserved it (2332)

On 06/19/2012 at 5:59am - misc - by Stu (man) - United States

Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML

#19806269
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28713) - you deserved it (2889)

On 06/18/2012 at 7:38am - misc - by DwarfFrog - United States

Today, a hobo shook me down for money on the street. He's my brother, who incidentally ran away from home over two years ago. FML

#19776561
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32537) - you deserved it (2398)

On 06/12/2012 at 12:59pm - money - by Sarah - United States (Pennsylvania)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: