About lkalili : I love Fml!! Whenever I'm having a bad day I go on here and I feel 10x better!! I love this website!!
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lkalili's favorite FMLs
by Scott / 09/15/2011 at 3:34am / United States (California) / Health
by Kevin / 09/09/2011 at 8:10am / United Kingdom / Love
by southernluxe / 09/04/2011 at 5:36am / United States / Intimacy
Today, a friend posted the Facebook status "Ahhh... relief." Trying to be funny, I replied "Why? Did you just poop?" A few hours later, I read her previous posts and found out her dad's in the hospital having heart surgery. Now everyone thinks I'm a heartless dick. FML
by Anonymous / 06/26/2011 at 4:25pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house and sat around while he played video games. He turned to me and could see I was annoyed. Then he told his friends on XBox Live that he needed a 10 minute break to have sex with me. FML
by Anonymous / 02/19/2011 at 12:22am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 4:53am / France / Intimacy
by Gabriel A / 01/14/2011 at 11:05pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/29/2010 at 2:12am / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Love
Today, my cousin came to visit from America. While out shopping, she said loudly that she was having trouble finding clothes to fit around her huge fanny, causing a lot of people to stare in our direction. I had to explain to her that "fanny" in the UK means "vagina." FML
by Anonymous / 09/09/2010 at 10:00am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous
Today, I turned the shower on the hottest setting so it would warm up quickly. I started to sing and dance around the bathroom. I got too carried away and pelvic thrusted the water, which I hadn't turned back down. FML
by Fire_Crotch / 08/14/2010 at 2:27am / Canada (British Columbia) / Health
by brother love / 08/13/2010 at 1:33am / United Kingdom / Love
Today, I was making out with a really hot guy in a Jacuzzi. He had the biggest booger hanging out of his nostril, but I was too embarrassed to say anything to him about it. He went in for a kiss. Soon after our lips parted, he said, "Oh, you have big booger." FML
by Jennyfromdablock / 12/30/2009 at 10:28pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, while walking in the mall, I spotted my ex boyfriend with his friends. To make myself look less lonely, I put my iPhone up to my ear and started an imaginary conversation with my invisible boyfriend. As I passed him, my phone started ringing loudly. It was him calling. He knew I was faking. FML
by Anonymous / 10/13/2009 at 9:34pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was on a plane with my grandma. A cute guy sat down next to her. She asked his age. He told her he was 16. She said, "Oh, that's how old my granddaughter here is." She then turned to me and said loudly, "You should switch seats with me, he's HOT!" Well, at least Grandma loves me. FML
by Anonymous / 10/05/2009 at 4:10pm / United States (Indiana) / Transportation
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, a week after dropping my car off for the third time in a month at the dealership because of…