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lkalili

Offline (the 08/29/2014 at 1:31am) | Search for a member

lkalili

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 25 December 1990 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 619
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About lkalili : I love Fml!! Whenever I'm having a bad day I go on here and I feel 10x better!! I love this website!!

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lkalili's favorite FMLs

Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her breasts. FML

#17749622
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31567) - you deserved it (5687)

On 09/15/2011 at 3:34am - health - by Scott - United States (California)

Today, I wrote a fake phone number on my neck to make it look like someone had hit on me. FML

#17702973
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8680) - you deserved it (37620)

On 09/09/2011 at 8:10am - love - by Kevin (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I got my first handjob. She ripped out a pube. It hurt so bad my eyes teared up. She asked what was wrong and not wanting to make her feel guilty I had to tell her it was "Just so good." FML

#17659578
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36008) - you deserved it (9413)

On 09/04/2011 at 5:36am - intimacy - by southernluxe - United States

Today, a friend posted the Facebook status "Ahhh... relief." Trying to be funny, I replied "Why? Did you just poop?" A few hours later, I read her previous posts and found out her dad's in the hospital having heart surgery. Now everyone thinks I'm a heartless dick. FML

#16867532
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13931) - you deserved it (46520)

On 06/26/2011 at 4:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, the sewers in my town became overloaded. My basement is now filled with other people's poo. FML

#16454235
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39743) - you deserved it (2751)

On 06/01/2011 at 4:40pm - misc - by L -

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house and sat around while he played video games. He turned to me and could see I was annoyed. Then he told his friends on XBox Live that he needed a 10 minute break to have sex with me. FML

#15034868
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37926) - you deserved it (7798)

On 02/19/2011 at 12:22am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

#14610613
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40742) - you deserved it (26828) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I found some nude vintage pictures in my house. I decided to beat my meat to them. Later I found out it was my grandma. FML

#14583340
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15681) - you deserved it (75422)

On 01/14/2011 at 11:05pm - intimacy - by Gabriel A - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend got mugged. I found out because the mugger had the courtesy to ring me, after I texted several times asking where he was, to say "He won't reply. He got robbed." FML

#13634930
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29903) - you deserved it (2754)

On 10/29/2010 at 2:12am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my cousin came to visit from America. While out shopping, she said loudly that she was having trouble finding clothes to fit around her huge fanny, causing a lot of people to stare in our direction. I had to explain to her that "fanny" in the UK means "vagina." FML

#12975254
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34430) - you deserved it (3923)

On 09/09/2010 at 10:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I turned the shower on the hottest setting so it would warm up quickly. I started to sing and dance around the bathroom. I got too carried away and pelvic thrusted the water, which I hadn't turned back down. FML

#12513717
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7029) - you deserved it (43054)

On 08/14/2010 at 2:27am - health - by Fire_Crotch (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out that the guy I like was only coming to my house to get closer to my brother. FML

#12492067
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33103) - you deserved it (3458)

On 08/13/2010 at 1:33am - love - by brother love - United Kingdom

Today, I was making out with a really hot guy in a Jacuzzi. He had the biggest booger hanging out of his nostril, but I was too embarrassed to say anything to him about it. He went in for a kiss. Soon after our lips parted, he said, "Oh, you have big booger." FML

#7044957
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10192) - you deserved it (31315)

On 12/30/2009 at 10:28pm - love - by Jennyfromdablock (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while walking in the mall, I spotted my ex boyfriend with his friends. To make myself look less lonely, I put my iPhone up to my ear and started an imaginary conversation with my invisible boyfriend. As I passed him, my phone started ringing loudly. It was him calling. He knew I was faking. FML

#5820033
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8282) - you deserved it (39549)

On 10/13/2009 at 9:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was on a plane with my grandma. A cute guy sat down next to her. She asked his age. He told her he was 16. She said, "Oh, that's how old my granddaughter here is." She then turned to me and said loudly, "You should switch seats with me, he's HOT!" Well, at least Grandma loves me. FML

#5664241
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37375) - you deserved it (5671)

On 10/05/2009 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)



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