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lkalili

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lkalili
  • Town/Country : California, united states
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 25 December 1990 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 425
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About lkalili : I love Fml!! Whenever I'm having a bad day I go on here and I feel 10x better!! I love this website!!

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lkalili's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother was watching me play Pokémon. She walked over to the TV and pulled the plug before ranting about how shameful it is that her 17 year old daughter plays Pokémon. She then sat down at the computer and started playing Farmville. FML

#18594471
273 comments

Today, I invited a few of my co-workers over to play video games. Within an hour, my wife had gotten drunk, grabbed my controller, told me to "get back in the kitchen", and described to everyone in blood-chilling detail how she took her first boyfriend's virginity. FML

#18591891
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24711) - you deserved it (3017)

On 12/23/2011 at 7:26pm - misc - by ThinZ (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend insisted that the dog stay in our bedroom while we had sex. He said it would prove his dominance, and "show the dog who's boss." My boyfriend needs to prove his self-worth to an animal. FML

#18473863
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30815) - you deserved it (4364)

On 12/10/2011 at 2:23am - intimacy - by HBC - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend shoved a Q-tip up my ass while I was brushing my teeth. FML

#18449583
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32731) - you deserved it (6312)

On 12/06/2011 at 11:39pm - intimacy - by Surprisebuttsecks? (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend refered to her vagina as a meat wallet, and to my penis as small change. FML

#18417408
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27292) - you deserved it (4073)

On 12/03/2011 at 5:04am - intimacy - by trembelwick - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because we watched a movie that Taylor Lautner was in, she claims they made special eye contact and they are destined to be together. FML

#18379052
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37746) - you deserved it (4034)

On 11/28/2011 at 8:33pm - love - by hot_shot (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I saw Santa. He gave me the finger. FML

#18378519
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20566) - you deserved it (4579)

On 11/28/2011 at 7:44pm - misc - by moopymoplady - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out my parents have a list of everything I have ever Googled. FML

#18346585
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32288) - you deserved it (6883)

On 11/25/2011 at 12:17pm - misc - by 14YearOld (man) - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)

Today, I got trapped in an elevator with a chicken. FML

#18334722
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25330) - you deserved it (3407)

On 11/24/2011 at 5:35am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my brother lost his first tooth, so I told him the tooth fairy is going to give him money. He now thinks The Rock is going to show up in his room. FML

#18327184
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27510) - you deserved it (6037)

On 11/23/2011 at 2:14pm - kids - by G. Briones -

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he suddenly pulls out and says, "Pull my penis." So I pulled his penis and he farted. Then he started doing it again. FML

#18260975
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34441) - you deserved it (6677)

On 11/16/2011 at 12:27am - intimacy - by halloweed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 12 year-old daughter asked me where her scrotum is. FML

#18139418
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27168) - you deserved it (4925)

On 11/02/2011 at 4:18pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML

#18083202
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34146) - you deserved it (3973)

On 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML

#18083202
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34146) - you deserved it (3973)

On 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while I was waiting in line at McDonalds, I found out I can sneeze, pee, and poop all at the same time. FML

#17934817
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45300) - you deserved it (7055)

On 10/08/2011 at 12:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)



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