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lkalili

Offline (the 08/29/2014 at 1:31am) | Search for a member

lkalili

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 25 December 1990 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 686
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About lkalili : I love Fml!! Whenever I'm having a bad day I go on here and I feel 10x better!! I love this website!!

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lkalili's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out why teenage boys have "Keep out" and "Please knock" signs on their bedroom doors. FML

#19305643
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10195) - you deserved it (46783)

On 03/19/2012 at 1:49am - intimacy - by ari - United States

Today, I was so bored that I spent two hours researching the history of spoons. FML

#19293540
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21080) - you deserved it (7016)

On 03/17/2012 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML

#19249528
596 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23242) - you deserved it (53039)

On 03/10/2012 at 2:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML

#19239456
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14436) - you deserved it (50090)

On 03/08/2012 at 2:03pm - intimacy - by Fraser - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I decided to shave my balls. When I was finished, I vacuumed up the mess on the carpet, and then the fragments of hair still on my balls. Very bad idea. FML

#19196549
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8435) - you deserved it (52806) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/01/2012 at 4:23pm - intimacy - by BadIdea - France

Today, I realized you should always knock on your parents' door before entering. Even at 6:30 am. FML

#19182227
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15285) - you deserved it (30620)

On 02/28/2012 at 1:55pm - intimacy - by none - United States (Illinois)

Today, after suffering with bad constipation and having to eat special bread to get me to go, I have practically just pooped out a week's worth of food in 15 minutes, and I'm still going. I've passed the ring of fire stage, now I just can't feel my asshole. FML

#19174199
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35100) - you deserved it (5315)

On 02/27/2012 at 10:55am - health - by awhmaaan - United Kingdom

Today, I was writing my rough draft of an essay, and I forgot how to spell a word. I waited for auto correct to help. I was writing on paper. FML

#19144925
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10979) - you deserved it (39453)

On 02/23/2012 at 8:49am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband and I were about to have sex. As soon as I got on top, he started speaking in a robot voice, then demanded that I call him "the Fuckinator." FML

#19136346
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34177) - you deserved it (4992)

On 02/22/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend said I could only take her virginity while I have a flaccid penis, so I won't hurt her. I get hard from just staring at her covered ass. FML

#19131405
407 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38227) - you deserved it (5631)

On 02/21/2012 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I set my alarm half-an-hour earlier so I could masturbate. That's how horny and single I am. FML

#19129332
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20911) - you deserved it (24671)

On 02/21/2012 at 3:10am - intimacy - by desperate905 - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I had to tell my 7 year old son it's not polite to jack off in public. FML

#19126066
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32238) - you deserved it (4991)

On 02/20/2012 at 8:43pm - intimacy - by Gothicbunnyx3 - United States

Today, I tried to find myself a friend on Craigslist. FML

#19122192
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23476) - you deserved it (7754)

On 02/20/2012 at 11:19am - misc - by shea234 - United States

Today, my boyfriend sang "happy birthday" to my vagina. It was my birthday last month and he forgot, but he remembered the date of the first time he went down on me. FML

#19113419
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30040) - you deserved it (4114)

On 02/19/2012 at 6:37am - intimacy - by me - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was so broke and hungry that I went to Olive Garden and faked being stood up, just so I could eat their breadsticks. FML

#19101207
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36121) - you deserved it (5581)

On 02/17/2012 at 4:10pm - misc - by 97 (woman) - United States



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