About lkalili : I love Fml!! Whenever I'm having a bad day I go on here and I feel 10x better!! I love this website!!
lkalili's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
lkalili's favorite FMLs
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. After a while, he started staring at my lady parts, and said my "vag looks like a mockingjay". He then stretched the lips apart like wings and made little "CA-CAW CA-CAW!" sounds. FML
by Goodyear / 01/19/2014 at 10:59pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
by flavored / 11/18/2013 at 10:26am / United States / Intimacy
by goodgrief / 10/30/2013 at 2:28pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by xtammyle / 02/19/2013 at 2:01am / Australia (Victoria) / Animals
by anonymous / 01/30/2013 at 5:13am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, after having sex for the first time with my girlfriend, I realised I was in love with her. I noticed she had an eyelash on her breast. After tugging it a few times I realised it was actually a single black nipple hair. She was so embarrassed, she kicked me out and now won't return my calls. FML
by ohman / 12/27/2012 at 10:06pm / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Intimacy
by childhoodupinsmoke / 11/29/2012 at 10:35pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I tried role playing with my boyfriend. As I came out in sexy lingerie, I announced, "I'm Natalia, a Russian spy fluent in 2 languages: Russian and your cock." He laughed so hard he practically pissed himself. The night ended in me doing his laundry. Alone. FML
by Anonymous / 10/16/2012 at 8:36am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by Darla / 10/05/2012 at 4:14am / United States (California) / Health
Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML
by smart move there / 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm / Ireland (Kildare) / Intimacy
by Optimus_Prime97 / 05/02/2012 at 10:39pm / United States / Money
Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML
by Flip / 05/02/2012 at 1:06am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Love
by poo4brains / 04/28/2012 at 12:42am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Intimacy
by totalloss / 04/01/2012 at 12:15pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/31/2012 at 11:10am / United States / Intimacy
- Today, I was in bed with my boyfriend, in the middle of foreplay, and somehow out of my mouth came,… Today, after work, I came home to my boyfriend sleeping on the couch. Feeling romantic, I started… Today, I caught my dad spanking my mom with a spatula. The same spatula I use to cook my eggs every…