About lkalili : I love Fml!! Whenever I'm having a bad day I go on here and I feel 10x better!! I love this website!!
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lkalili's favorite FMLs
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. After a while, he started staring at my lady parts, and said my "vag looks like a mockingjay". He then stretched the lips apart like wings and made little "CA-CAW CA-CAW!" sounds. FML
by Goodyear / 01/19/2014 at 10:59pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
by flavored / 11/18/2013 at 10:26am / United States / Intimacy
by goodgrief / 10/30/2013 at 2:28pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by xtammyle / 02/19/2013 at 2:01am / Australia (Victoria) / Animals
by anonymous / 01/30/2013 at 5:13am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, after having sex for the first time with my girlfriend, I realised I was in love with her. I noticed she had an eyelash on her breast. After tugging it a few times I realised it was actually a single black nipple hair. She was so embarrassed, she kicked me out and now won't return my calls. FML
by ohman / 12/27/2012 at 10:06pm / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Intimacy
by childhoodupinsmoke / 11/29/2012 at 10:35pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I tried role playing with my boyfriend. As I came out in sexy lingerie, I announced, "I'm Natalia, a Russian spy fluent in 2 languages: Russian and your cock." He laughed so hard he practically pissed himself. The night ended in me doing his laundry. Alone. FML
by Anonymous / 10/16/2012 at 8:36am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by Darla / 10/05/2012 at 4:14am / United States (California) / Health
Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML
by smart move there / 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm / Ireland (Kildare) / Intimacy
by Optimus_Prime97 / 05/02/2012 at 10:39pm / United States / Money
Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML
by Flip / 05/02/2012 at 1:06am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Love
by poo4brains / 04/28/2012 at 12:42am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Intimacy
by totalloss / 04/01/2012 at 12:15pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/31/2012 at 11:10am / United States / Intimacy
- Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around. When he slipped his hand down my pants, he scratched… Today, I put on a lacy dress with nothing underneath and walked nonchalantly into the living room.… Today, at work, a customer left their cell phone behind. I tried to see if there were any pictures…
- Today, I lost my wallet during a flight. I figured it was in a bag that I had given to an attendant… Today my boss fussed at me for something my co-worker did yesterday "because you were sitting right… Today, I was in the middle of watching this awesome show on Hulu. I was halfway through the season…