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lkalili

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lkalili

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 25 December 1990 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 521
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About lkalili : I love Fml!! Whenever I'm having a bad day I go on here and I feel 10x better!! I love this website!!

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lkalili's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. After a while, he started staring at my lady parts, and said my "vag looks like a mockingjay". He then stretched the lips apart like wings and made little "CA-CAW CA-CAW!" sounds. FML

#21033383
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51672) - you deserved it (7461)

On 01/19/2014 at 10:59pm - intimacy - by Goodyear (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try flavored condoms. I guess I enjoyed them a little too much; I almost choked half to death on a strawberry cockcicle. FML

#20961988
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38744) - you deserved it (14944)

On 11/18/2013 at 10:26am - intimacy - by flavored (woman) - United States

Today, my mom got drunk at our family reunion and told everyone how worried she is that my "excessive masturbation" would damage the nerves in both my dick and arm. FML

#20939123
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44063) - you deserved it (7531)

On 10/30/2013 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by goodgrief (man) - United States (California)

Today, I walked into my dad straightening my dog's fur. His excuse? The dog needed to feel pretty. FML

#20513110
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28867) - you deserved it (3938)

On 02/19/2013 at 2:01am - animals - by xtammyle - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I learned it's a bad idea to text and smoke while drunk, because there is an increased risk of throwing your phone off the balcony and sticking your cigarette into your pocket. FML

#20485916
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11151) - you deserved it (52730)

On 01/30/2013 at 5:13am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, after having sex for the first time with my girlfriend, I realised I was in love with her. I noticed she had an eyelash on her breast. After tugging it a few times I realised it was actually a single black nipple hair. She was so embarrassed, she kicked me out and now won't return my calls. FML

#20426821
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32189) - you deserved it (25087)

On 12/27/2012 at 10:06pm - intimacy - by ohman (man) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, I realized that the comforting, unique scent of my mother in my childhood was actually the smell of the marijuana she smokes. FML

#20184714
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26134) - you deserved it (2869)

On 11/29/2012 at 10:35pm - misc - by childhoodupinsmoke (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I tried role playing with my boyfriend. As I came out in sexy lingerie, I announced, "I'm Natalia, a Russian spy fluent in 2 languages: Russian and your cock." He laughed so hard he practically pissed himself. The night ended in me doing his laundry. Alone. FML

#20119371
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28110) - you deserved it (16830)

On 10/16/2012 at 8:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I realized that at age 54, I'm no longer young enough to go commando anymore. Every time I sneezed today, I peed myself. FML

#20102528
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16597) - you deserved it (10665)

On 10/05/2012 at 4:14am - health - by Darla (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML

#19631928
472 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38735) - you deserved it (3096)

On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)

Today, I accidentally adopted a dolphin for $125. FML

#19566058
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10225) - you deserved it (25951)

On 05/02/2012 at 10:39pm - money - by Optimus_Prime97 - United States

Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML

#19561833
329 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11332) - you deserved it (38243) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/02/2012 at 1:06am - love - by Flip (woman) - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, my wife woke me up by giving my erect penis a Chinese burn. FML

#19540366
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26997) - you deserved it (3054)

On 04/28/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by poo4brains - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I had to sit between my parents in the car as they argued with one another for a whole hour over whether or not a thumb is a finger. FML

#19388204
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14860) - you deserved it (1207)

On 04/01/2012 at 12:15pm - misc - by totalloss - United States (Florida)

Today, I got sexually excited thinking about what kind of donuts I wanted to get in the morning. FML

#19381776
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20304) - you deserved it (9645)

On 03/31/2012 at 11:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States



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