ljcarranza

Search for a member

Offline (the 12/07/2014 at 8:11pm)

ljcarranza

0Fucked!

ljcarranza
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 13 January 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1658
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About ljcarranza : B-)

ljcarranza's page activity

Visits<b>mclint_</b> - the 11/01/2016 at 12:52am<b>khbh</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 7:44am<b>Angel1999</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 6:17pm<b>Erin2009</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 11:27pm<b>Si123</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 6:26am<b>theflyingellis</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 10:19pm<b>kerstileann</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 2:31am<b>Vanillanougat</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 4:28pm<b>_sourskittles_7</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 2:57am<b>Jeeper4Life</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 10:31pm<b>Queen_Bitch69</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 11:57am<b>macncheeze97</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 11:25am<b>UC_jrmnts</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 11:12am<b>italianmonster86</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 11:44pm<b>lil_miss_simran</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 5:59pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 2:21pm<b>AustinDenton</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 8:49am<b>abylenee_</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 1:10am

ljcarranza's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of ljcarranza's badges

ljcarranza's favorite FMLs

Today, after my shift at the hospital ended, I happened to look into a full-length mirror. My new scrubs turned out to be see-through. Instead of my undies, everyone got a good look at my cellulite-ridden ass. Fan-fucking-tastic day to wear a thong. FML

by birdiebeth13 / 04/10/2013 at 1:41pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

Today, I came home from work to find my son and his friends attempting to find out how many of them could fit into one of my pairs of pants. So far, five. FML

by fatmom / 04/10/2013 at 9:26am / United Kingdom (Kent) / Kids

Today, I noticed a stray string on a seam of my pants. I started absentmindedly pulling at it thinking maybe I could pull it off. Five minutes later, I realized it looked like I was fiddling with my crotch in the middle of Starbucks. FML

by WearingSomethingStringy / 04/09/2013 at 8:02pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous

Today, one of my 5-year-old son's teeth fell out, but he's quite scatterbrained and he lost it. He did however find my vibrating duck under my pillow, and is now crying because he thinks that I stole his tooth so that the tooth fairy would bring me a toy. FML

by laptitesouris / 03/31/2013 at 7:35pm / France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur) / Kids

Today, one of my 5-year-old son's teeth fell out, but he's quite scatterbrained and he lost it. He did however find my vibrating duck under my pillow, and is now crying because he thinks that I stole his tooth so that the tooth fairy would bring me a toy. FML

by laptitesouris / 03/31/2013 at 7:35pm / France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur) / Kids

Today, I saw some pictures of my boyfriend drunkenly kissing his ex on Facebook. I asked him about it, and he reassured me the pictures were from months ago. Unfortunately for him, I happened to notice a small tattoo on his neck. The same tattoo I went with him just last week to get. FML

by kaikaicaligirl / 03/21/2013 at 7:55pm / United States (California) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I woke up to my cat giving birth, on my bed. I adopted her from a friend, who told me she was spayed. Now I have a giant mess and a cat who won't let me move either her or her babies. Guess I'm sleeping on the couch for a while. FML

by DommeAshlee / 03/21/2013 at 2:42pm / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went out to Applebees with a girl I like and a group of friends. Someone asked if the girl and I were dating. She instantly replied with a bit of disgust "What? No way, never!" It would have been nice to know before paying for the last ten or so dates we went on. FML

by Anonymous / 03/20/2013 at 1:38pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found a purse in the school bathroom. When I looked inside, there was an iPod along with some other expensive stuff in it. I took it to the office so the right owner would get it back. The owner passed me in the hall on the way there; she freaked out and punched me in the face. FML

by really? / 03/20/2013 at 12:55am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, four days after our fridge-freezer broke down, my husband staggered home with three bags of ham. He drunkenly bought it with most of what little money we have, so now not only is our food budget gone, we also have a metric cunt-load of ham, and nowhere to store it. FML

Today, four days after our fridge-freezer broke down, my husband staggered home with three bags of ham. He drunkenly bought it with most of what little money we have, so now not only is our food budget gone, we also have a metric cunt-load of ham, and nowhere to store it. FML

Today, I picked up my new car. The dealer offered to connect my iPhone to the Bluetooth system for me. Once connected it automatically started playing the audiobook I had been listening to over the stereo system. Right on a passage which had an extremely graphic description of anal sex. FML

Today, after my 5-year-old finally got over his grandmother's death, we went to a store and saw a lady that looked exactly like her. She came up to us asking if we saw her grandson; I can't get my son to stop freaking out. FML

by Maxie / 03/07/2013 at 8:55pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids

Today, I discovered that the neck injury that my mom has had since last week was planned just as an excuse not to shovel when today's snowstorm came. She has planned on being lazy for over a week now. FML

by Drew / 03/06/2013 at 10:16am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, the guy who confessed his love for me also confessed that in his rage, he almost shot the last girl who broke his heart. FML