Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ljcarranza

Offline (the 08/30/2014 at 7:19am) | Search for a member

ljcarranza

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 13 January 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 629
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About ljcarranza : B-)

ljcarranza's page activity

Visits<b>SevanaRatchet</b> - yesterday at 8:41pm<b>AustinDenton</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 8:49am<b>abylenee_</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 1:10am<b>grapegamer</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 12:39am<b>Peck_Kcep</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 12:12am<b>cherrio27</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 8:39pm<b>TaylorWhiteGirl</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 7:08pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 1:22am<b>princessalice69</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 10:48pm<b>AlliTheKat</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 4:02pm<b>michaelf461</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 9:27pm<b>aa1717</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 2:16pm<b>FuckkSam</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 11:44pm<b>paige7145</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 10:52pm<b>IconicFML</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 11:09pm<b>HopelesslyCiara5</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 3:14am<b>emxy92</b> - the 02/12/2014 at 4:37pm<b>yorkie_16</b> - the 02/11/2014 at 10:48pm

ljcarranza's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of ljcarranza's badges

ljcarranza's favorite FMLs

Today, after my shift at the hospital ended, I happened to look into a full-length mirror. My new scrubs turned out to be see-through. Instead of my undies, everyone got a good look at my cellulite-ridden ass. Fan-fucking-tastic day to wear a thong. FML

#20583566
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36451) - you deserved it (16905)

On 04/10/2013 at 1:41pm - work - by birdiebeth13 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I came home from work to find my son and his friends attempting to find out how many of them could fit into one of my pairs of pants. So far, five. FML

#20583359
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40180) - you deserved it (19306)

On 04/10/2013 at 9:26am - kids - by fatmom (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I noticed a stray string on a seam of my pants. I started absentmindedly pulling at it thinking maybe I could pull it off. Five minutes later, I realized it looked like I was fiddling with my crotch in the middle of Starbucks. FML

#20582655
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29581) - you deserved it (10693)

On 04/09/2013 at 8:02pm - misc - by WearingSomethingStringy (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I saw some pictures of my boyfriend drunkenly kissing his ex on Facebook. I asked him about it, and he reassured me the pictures were from months ago. Unfortunately for him, I happened to notice a small tattoo on his neck. The same tattoo I went with him just last week to get. FML

Today, I woke up to my cat giving birth, on my bed. I adopted her from a friend, who told me she was spayed. Now I have a giant mess and a cat who won't let me move either her or her babies. Guess I'm sleeping on the couch for a while. FML

Today, I went out to Applebees with a girl I like and a group of friends. Someone asked if the girl and I were dating. She instantly replied with a bit of disgust "What? No way, never!" It would have been nice to know before paying for the last ten or so dates we went on. FML

Today, I found a purse in the school bathroom. When I looked inside, there was an iPod along with some other expensive stuff in it. I took it to the office so the right owner would get it back. The owner passed me in the hall on the way there; she freaked out and punched me in the face. FML

#20551761
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40004) - you deserved it (2594)

On 03/20/2013 at 12:55am - misc - by really? (woman) - United States

Today, four days after our fridge-freezer broke down, my husband staggered home with three bags of ham. He drunkenly bought it with most of what little money we have, so now not only is our food budget gone, we also have a metric cunt-load of ham, and nowhere to store it. FML

#20548229
167 comments

Today, four days after our fridge-freezer broke down, my husband staggered home with three bags of ham. He drunkenly bought it with most of what little money we have, so now not only is our food budget gone, we also have a metric cunt-load of ham, and nowhere to store it. FML

#20548229
167 comments

Today, I picked up my new car. The dealer offered to connect my iPhone to the Bluetooth system for me. Once connected it automatically started playing the audiobook I had been listening to over the stereo system. Right on a passage which had an extremely graphic description of anal sex. FML

Today, after my 5-year-old finally got over his grandmother's death, we went to a store and saw a lady that looked exactly like her. She came up to us asking if we saw her grandson; I can't get my son to stop freaking out. FML

#20535134
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36803) - you deserved it (2156)

On 03/07/2013 at 8:55pm - kids - by Maxie - United States (Ohio)

Today, I discovered that the neck injury that my mom has had since last week was planned just as an excuse not to shovel when today's snowstorm came. She has planned on being lazy for over a week now. FML

#20533403
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25999) - you deserved it (2672)

On 03/06/2013 at 10:16am - misc - by Drew (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, the guy who confessed his love for me also confessed that in his rage, he almost shot the last girl who broke his heart. FML

#20518576
157 comments


FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: