I am a fml junkie who browses fml.com when I am on break from work, at home relaxing, in between college classes, and most places in public. ^.^
Not much to me, I am quite simple. I go to college and have a job. I sleep a lot. I smile too much, or at least that is what my superiors tell me.
I am harsh when I moderate. Hate me for this, but I say "no" for the majority of the entries on fml when I moderate it because a lot of it is pure crap. :D
Also, I really love how people talk trash about other people's appearances, yet don't have the balls to put their own picture up.
Today, I saw my boyfriend with his arm wrapped around another girl's waist at the mall. He saw me, panicked, and pretended to give the girl the Heimlich maneuver. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14029) - you totally deserved it (1248)
On 03/18/2010 at 9:04pm - love - by amiugly (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I ran into my manipulative ex-boyfriend at a party. We were chatting and I mentioned that the guys I have been seeing lately all turn out to be jerks. He says "yeah well you dumped me and don't deserve to be happy." Apparently he has been creeping and scaring off any guys interested in me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14798) - you totally deserved it (1551)
On 03/09/2010 at 1:04am - love - by fu2then (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, my boyfriend took me to meet his friends at one of his exclusive "clubs." Expecting it to be his old friends from college, I agreed to go. Apparently, I've been dating a member of the Ku Klux Klan for 2 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38276) - you totally deserved it (3868)
On 01/16/2010 at 4:24pm - love - by Awkward (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was at the movie theatre. I went to the bathroom, and was about to wipe my butt when I realized that where the toilet-paper dispenser should have been, there was a large hole. The woman in the next stall waved. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15963) - you totally deserved it (2754)
On 01/12/2010 at 9:57pm - misc - by pass_the_tp (woman) - United States (California)
Today, at work a female co-worker was struggling with a stack of boxes in her hands. Her pantyhose was falling down and she asked me to help her. So I pulled up her pantyhose. When I looked up, she had a horrified look on her face. She was asking me to help her hold the boxes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3624) - you totally deserved it (26688)
On 12/25/2009 at 3:10am - work - by harrassment101 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I woke up and found that someone had taken a dump on my car. They'd apparently felt bad about it, as they'd then keyed "sorry" into the door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27330) - you totally deserved it (1013)
On 12/06/2009 at 8:24am - misc - by flying_vegan - United Kingdom
Today, I went on a blind double date with my friend. My date was actually blind. Not so bad, he seemed nice, until he told me I sound ugly and annoying. My friend laughed and agreed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18918) - you totally deserved it (1494)
On 11/26/2009 at 12:44pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)
Today, at work, my stomach hurt and I passed gas for relief. Moments later, I discovered that my loose, silent "fart" was actually a wet, sneaky shart. The mess was beyond repair; I had to fake a family emergency and crept out of the office so that my coworkers wouldn't see my obvious crap stain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20374) - you totally deserved it (5054)
On 10/12/2009 at 2:10pm - health - by Few_Absolutes (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I finally found out that someone had stolen my debit card and maxed it out. The good news? Whoever it was forgot to change the address on the card, so everything they bought online has been shipped to me. The bad news? I've received 16 snuggies so far, and I'm still counting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29589) - you totally deserved it (1685)
On 09/28/2009 at 4:36pm - money - by SnuggieOverload (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was preparing to perform with my marching band at a competition. Right before we went on, a tuba player friend of mine offered to help me stretch. He wound up snapping my bra. I'm a drum major, and had to conduct the entire show while my boobs were falling out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24576) - you totally deserved it (3059)
On 09/27/2009 at 6:03pm - misc - by commando - United States (New York)
Today, I urgently needed to use the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. When I went to flush, it would not go down the pipes. After about ten panic filled minutes, I notice the cat litter box. I carefully scoop out my logs, and bury them in the cat litter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10406) - you totally deserved it (28288)
On 09/18/2009 at 12:29am - misc - by Poowee (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, I wore the new bathing suit my boyfriend got me for my birthday to a family reunion pool party. Turns out, it was a gag gift that dissolves after 3 minutes in water. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49036) - you totally deserved it (3712)
On 08/15/2009 at 3:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I went out drinking with a female friend I've been crushing on for a while now. After we'd been talking and had a few, She said 'Man, I haven't gotten laid in months! Do you mind?'. Surprised but hopeful, I nodded. She leaned over, hugged me, and went to hit on a guy at the bar. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31390) - you totally deserved it (2766)
On 08/07/2009 at 5:43am - love - by ineedanotherdrink (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was getting mugged. In shock, I said, "Are you mugging me?!" To which the mugger responded, "Duh, do you think I grabbed you for your looks?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (34395) - you totally deserved it (4305)
On 08/04/2009 at 2:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my wife and I watched a documentary film about a kid living with severe asthma. In one scene, the kid has a severe asthma attack, and is rushed to hospital. My wife started laughing hysterically at this and after apologising, goes "it's just he sounded exactly like you in bed." FML
I agree, your life sucks (50579) - you totally deserved it (4775)
On 05/26/2009 at 4:24am - intimacy - by Weezylover (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
