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liptontea

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liptontea

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  • Number of visits : 154
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liptontea's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:28pm

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liptontea's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to see a famous rapper perform. My girlfriend got us up to the front to get pictures with him. He went to give me a high-five, I thought it was a fist-bump, so I made a fist. So he made a fist while I made a palm to match his retracted high-five. Then I panicked, cupped his fist and ran. FML

#13986029
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11863) - you deserved it (27423)

On 11/26/2010 at 10:43am - misc - by blackitalian - United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

#13432324
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35600) - you deserved it (20834)

On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Suddenly, he grabbed my 'lower' lips and moved them in a talking motion, proclaiming that "the talking vagina declares war and wants to conquer the great penis." FML

#11076203
355 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48437) - you deserved it (17261)

On 06/09/2010 at 7:34am - intimacy - by thetalkingvagina (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I waked in on my boyfriend and his best friend playing "Dick Wars" while wearing glow in the dark condoms. FML

#9416886
392 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48792) - you deserved it (9598)

On 03/27/2010 at 4:26am - intimacy - by pumpkinlover89 - United States (California)

Today, I waked in on my boyfriend and his best friend playing "Dick Wars" while wearing glow in the dark condoms. FML

#9416886
392 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48792) - you deserved it (9598)

On 03/27/2010 at 4:26am - intimacy - by pumpkinlover89 - United States (California)

Today, I waked in on my boyfriend and his best friend playing "Dick Wars" while wearing glow in the dark condoms. FML

#9416886
392 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48792) - you deserved it (9598)

On 03/27/2010 at 4:26am - intimacy - by pumpkinlover89 - United States (California)

Today, I waked in on my boyfriend and his best friend playing "Dick Wars" while wearing glow in the dark condoms. FML

#9416886
392 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48792) - you deserved it (9598)

On 03/27/2010 at 4:26am - intimacy - by pumpkinlover89 - United States (California)

Today, I waked in on my boyfriend and his best friend playing "Dick Wars" while wearing glow in the dark condoms. FML

#9416886
392 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48792) - you deserved it (9598)

On 03/27/2010 at 4:26am - intimacy - by pumpkinlover89 - United States (California)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. As I was beginning to enjoy and really get into it, I heard him say, "Oh my god, this is good shit." I looked up sexily, only to find that he was eating a Twinkie. FML

#7339757
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27134) - you deserved it (4916)

On 01/14/2010 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by scubai (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my 250 lb ex-Marine dad announced he was going to start randomly punching me in the crotch, without warning, to "improve my reflexes." FML

#4235904
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62972) - you deserved it (5101)

On 08/02/2009 at 6:45pm - health - by theregoesmyspermcount (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was babysitting. I was sitting on the sofa when I felt that I need to ajust my sitting arangment. After moving, I felt a small toy snap under me. The little boy said it was fine. One hour later he snuck up on me and beat me with an umbrella for breaking his toy. FML

#2621619
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47487) - you deserved it (10318)

On 06/05/2009 at 1:25am - kids - by KPKallery (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, at lunch I was running to my group's table with my friend. She accidentally tripped me, and I slid across the café floor face first on my belly. The whole cafeteria was silent. They then broke out in hysterics when the head janitor ran up to me and yelled 'SAFE!' like a baseball umpire. FML

#877965
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64896) - you deserved it (10827)

On 04/08/2009 at 9:42pm - misc - by eun (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had sex with a girl who cried out as she came "Forgive me Lord! Forgive me Lord!" FML

#552
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50958) - you deserved it (6190)

On 12/19/2008 at 11:05am - intimacy - by chicochico - Sent from mobile version



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