About lionqueen1400 : I'm just an average, weird kid who likes to hear how fucked up some other people's lives are. And I love cats.
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Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend. I started to come, screaming, "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" To which he added, "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (24753) - you deserved it (15686) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, I overheard my boyfriend of two years tell his friend he was going to "pop the question". Ecstatic, I wore my nicest dress and got my hair done for dinner. Near the end, he leant in romantically and asked if we could start doing anal. So much for marriage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27553) - you deserved it (5323)
On 12/24/2010 at 7:00pm - intimacy - by snoozerlooser (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, a woman came to my counter and ordered 12 donuts, I said "OK sure, a dozen donuts." She paused, looked at me with disgust and yelled "I said 12, NOT a dozen." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37213) - you deserved it (2765)
On 12/20/2010 at 8:52pm - work - by morenita27 (woman) - Canada
Today, while giving a brief presentation at work, I blanked out on what I was going to say. I tried to make a joke and tell them I'd had a brain fart, but all I managed to say was "I farted". Well, at least they all laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22745) - you deserved it (6331)
On 12/15/2010 at 6:57am - work - by Mike -
Today, my toddler stood up in the shopping cart and fell giving himself a black eye. Later while at a restaurant he tried to stand up in his highchair. I quickly blurted out "Sit down! Do you want another one of those?" while pointing at his eye. Now the waiter wont stop glaring at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33206) - you deserved it (7633)
On 12/15/2010 at 12:42am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, without even trying, I convinced my 17-year-old daughter that blueberries are just peas holding their breath. I have raised a complete airhead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30257) - you deserved it (49772)
On 12/11/2010 at 9:44am - kids - by parentfail (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I learned that the cute pet name my boyfriend has been calling me for the past month is actually an acronym for "pain in the a**". FML
I agree, your life sucks (18053) - you deserved it (4571)
On 12/04/2010 at 3:35pm - love - by Pita (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I woke up after a dream where I got it good from none other than Arnold Schwarzenegger. The problem? I'm a guy, and straight. Apparently my subconscious has a fetish for old Austrian bodybuilders. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22156) - you deserved it (4769)
On 12/04/2010 at 6:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sweden (Skane Lan)
Today, I was texting my trainer to rearrange our training session. My girlfriend texted me during the exchange, asking what I wanted for Christmas. I accidentally texted my trainer, "All I want are your sweet titties in my face". I'm awaiting a response. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11154) - you deserved it (29148)
On 11/27/2010 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, when I got home, I went into my room to find a Bratz doll and a Ken doll laying naked, on top of each other on my bed. Attached to them was a note that stated, "Please, use your imagination and find other ways besides porn to get excited. The computer keeps getting viruses. Love, Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13929) - you deserved it (37213)
On 11/21/2010 at 6:43pm - intimacy - by sydysyd (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was in the car hooking up with my boyfriend. He was on top of me when I noticed my neighbor jogging toward the car. Instead of hiding, I felt compelled to wave as he jogged past us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4983) - you deserved it (27145)
On 11/11/2010 at 8:34am - intimacy - by Caught (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my sixteen year old son told me that he's following his guidance counselor's advice: to do what his hero does for a living. The problem? His hero is SpongeBob Squarepants. His ambition in life is to become a fry cook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19214) - you deserved it (3029)
On 11/07/2010 at 3:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I walked in the door and heard my husband calling me to the bedroom. I got a little excited, took my clothes off, and walked into the bedroom. I forgot our mortgagor was inspecting our house today. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12419) - you deserved it (20460)
On 09/04/2010 at 7:02am - intimacy - by Lewis - Australia (South Australia)
Today, I got fired for taking time off to see my sister in the hospital after she got in a car accident. Before I got fired, I found out my boss took time off because her horoscope said she should. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27372) - you deserved it (1594)
On 09/03/2010 at 5:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)
Today, I found out that Whoopi Goldberg was NOT Oprah Winfrey's stage name. I was then laughed at for ages by my co-workers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4565) - you deserved it (38190)
On 09/01/2010 at 12:30am - misc - by MisterMisinformed - Canada (British Columbia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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