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About lionqueen1400 : I'm just an average, weird kid who likes to hear how fucked up some other people's lives are. And I love cats.
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, while a very cute girl was explaining the apartment's laundry machines to me, I blurted out, "It's okay, my pants are used to handling huge loads". FML
I agree, your life sucks (11686) - you deserved it (25047)
On 06/20/2011 at 3:37am - misc - by NewTenant (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9432) - you deserved it (42047)
On 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm - money - by notinthebutt (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I got pulled over for going about 88mph. When the cop asked why I was speeding, I replied, "I was trying to go back in time". He didn't like that answer and gave me a ticket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8476) - you deserved it (44998)
On 05/19/2011 at 1:30am - work - by 613tanner -
Today, I lied to my diary about my weight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16965) - you deserved it (33815)
On 04/26/2011 at 9:56am - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my cat took a shit in my toaster. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40855) - you deserved it (6111)
On 04/19/2011 at 10:21pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my wife and I were planning our nursery for our future child. She said that we'd be painting it pink either way. I asked what would happen if we had a boy. She said "Oh, he'll be gay" with a menacing glare. I'm worried. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31246) - you deserved it (4813)
On 04/16/2011 at 6:59am - misc - by Worried (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I wore a fake wedding ring on my left hand when buying a pregnancy test so the cashier at Walmart wouldn't think I'm a slut. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6957) - you deserved it (22538)
On 04/11/2011 at 9:16am - intimacy - by CheeseyPotatoes (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was looking in my grandparents' drawers and cupboards to find a blanket, but instead found a stash of sex toys, and a male G-string with a horse on the front. The best bit? When you press the horse's nose, it neighs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30593) - you deserved it (6951)
On 04/09/2011 at 1:46am - intimacy - by fuundmental/// - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was having some intense sex with my boyfriend. I was wailing so loud that my neighbors decided to call the police on us. According to them, it sounded like I was "being tortured to death". FML
I agree, your life sucks (14220) - you deserved it (23842)
On 04/08/2011 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38282) - you deserved it (10249)
On 04/03/2011 at 9:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my father came over to my house. I realized there were condoms on the table, so I subtly moved a vase to hide them. He then gave me an unamused look and said 'I know you have sex. You've been married for nine years, grow the f*** up, dumbass.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (13347) - you deserved it (62276)
On 03/17/2011 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my boyfriend did the Austin Powers dance/strip-tease while dancing to 'I Touch Myself'. It was cute until he ripped off his shirt and revealed that he'd shaved his chest hair in the shape of a penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37744) - you deserved it (6940)
On 03/10/2011 at 10:08am - intimacy - by Anon (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, while bored at work I was reading an article online about the local zoo and its animals. I received an email so quickly responded, but when signing off accidentally wrote "thanks hippo" instead of "thanks heaps". To a woman with a weight problem. Who also outranks me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10235) - you deserved it (17853)
On 03/04/2011 at 2:13am - work - by sharni88 (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, my cat tried to kill me. While I was sleeping, he put his paws on either side of my face and laid down, covering my nose and mouth. While I was struggling to free myself, I could hear my sister laughing next to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19878) - you deserved it (3306)
On 02/20/2011 at 12:45pm - animals - by Michelle - United States (California)
I agree, your life sucks (26617) - you deserved it (5420)
On 02/19/2011 at 8:12am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Texas)
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