lindon555

Search for a member

lindon555

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 922
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

lindon555's page activity

Visits<b>Katrinnaw</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 1:42pm<b>sh4rpestl1ves</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 1:23pm<b>SwagBasket</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 12:38pm<b>shay_serendipity</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 10:11pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 4:35pm<b>azelk</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 10:44pm<b>urbantrashcan</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 11:09am<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 3:45am<b>lil_ham1644</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 6:51pm<b>Candycake</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 7:48pm<b>missalice0306</b> - the 08/17/2012 at 12:20am<b>UrCapsLockOn</b> - the 12/04/2011 at 2:22pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 12/04/2011 at 2:08pm

lindon555's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

lindon555's favorite FMLs

Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML

by Alyssa / 02/12/2012 at 7:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I realised my girlfriend only has sex with me to make me exercise. FML

by mattttbob / 02/04/2012 at 5:16am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, my parents are on holiday, which means I have the house to myself. Wild parties? Hot girls? Loads of beer? No. Flu. FML

by partypooper / 01/18/2012 at 10:29am / United Kingdom / Health

Today, I found out the girl I've been fooling around with for two weeks has a boyfriend, who is in jail, and is a member of the Aryan Brotherhood. FML

by Anonymous / 01/17/2012 at 6:57am / United States / Love

Today, I had to slowly explain to my daughter why her Facebook profile isn't a valid piece of ID. FML

by Ange / 01/15/2012 at 2:34pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Kids

Today, I introduced my boyfriend of two weeks to my parents. My dad asked me to leave the room so they could have some "guy talk". I eavesdropped, only to hear the words "sex-crazed fuck" and a threat to stick bamboo shoots under my boyfriend's fingernails if he ever hurt me. FML

by soontobedumped / 01/15/2012 at 2:26pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, I switched from pads to tampons. It took me several botched attempts trying insert one before I succeeded, and now I feel like I've just raped myself. FML

by lolwut / 01/15/2012 at 1:17pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, at my job as a waitress, I fell, landed on my ass, managing not to spill the drinks or drop the food in my hands. A little boy yelled "NINJA WAITRESS!" Every one at work has been calling me that all day, and purposely been trying to trip me to see if I could do it again. FML

by immy504 / 11/30/2011 at 12:39am / United States (Louisiana) / Work

Today, I found out my girlfriend doesn't go to work, she's actually been seeing another guy purely for sex, and each time he gives her money to "support her unemployment." Pretty sure that means I'm dating a prostitute. FML

by prostitutes boyfriend / 10/21/2011 at 10:55am / United Kingdom (Cornwall) / Intimacy

Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML

by awesomekidsmum / 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep and completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML

by piece of shed / 08/31/2011 at 10:00am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, my pet fish died because my drunk father microwaved it. FML

by SydIsPrettyCool / 08/04/2011 at 1:44am / United States (Michigan) / Animals

Today, I was driving along when the car in front of me ran over an animal. I only realised this when a chunk of flesh and blood landed on my windscreen. I put my wipers on to get rid of it but instead it got stuck underneath the wipers and smeared all over the screen. FML

by Username / 05/13/2011 at 4:13am / Transportation

Today, as I was filling out divorce paperwork, I realized that my son has had the same girlfriend through both of my marriages. He's 17. FML

by Username / 05/12/2011 at 7:09am / Love

Today, my motorcycle was stolen. If that wasn't bad enough, the thief drove past me. Twice. FML

by Diesel / 05/03/2011 at 10:23am / Belgium (Luxembourg) / Transportation