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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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limabean3

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limabean3
  • Town/Country : Calgary, Canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 10 October 1990 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 1893
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About limabean3 : I'm a goof and I love to laugh. Especially at myself; I mean, if you can't laugh at yourself then how can you laugh at other people? And I definitely have a lot of things to laugh about- I'm extremely clumsy and have a tendency to gravitate towards situations that often have me hopping around in pain. It's a talent, I swear. ;)

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limabean3's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend threw me on the couch as I walked in the door. I butt dialed my mom in the process. My girlfriend took off my pants and we got to business. After about 30 seconds of hearing what was going on, my mom thought something was wrong and called the cops to my apartment. FML

#3669335 (100)

I agree, your life sucks (40571) - you deserved it (6169)

On 07/11/2009 at 3:38pm - intimacy - by policeopenup (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom when randomly turned to me and said: "You know, you're the kind of person that has to change literally everything about themselves to get a guy to like you." I thought she was joking so I laughed. She then said "Like that. Your laugh... What is that? Change that." FML

#3587785 (204)

I agree, your life sucks (54152) - you deserved it (3307)

On 07/08/2009 at 5:43pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML

#3484293 (190)

I agree, your life sucks (41962) - you deserved it (16634)

On 07/04/2009 at 5:07pm - love - by DutchOven (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is cheating on me, with the same guy I was cheating on him with. FML

#3451487 (533)

I agree, your life sucks (50683) - you deserved it (129453)

On 07/03/2009 at 10:16am - misc - by shandrith (woman) - United States (California)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my daughter had just left for a date with her boyfriend. All of a sudden, she runs back in the house screaming "I forgot to take my birth control!" That is not something a father wants to hear. FML

#3334132 (265)

I agree, your life sucks (56603) - you deserved it (4880)

On 06/29/2009 at 12:38pm - kids - by dad (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was at the mall with my boyfriend and 2 friends. My uncle passed by me in the mall. He said "What are you baby-sitting or something?" He pointed to the merry-go-round. My boyfriend was sitting on the giraffe yelling at the top of his lungs. FML

#3333969 (182)

I agree, your life sucks (37114) - you deserved it (8594)

On 06/29/2009 at 11:41am - misc - by merkris (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, there was a meeting at work. I had to give a presentation to my boss and the other attendants. My first subject was on how my 5 year old son got to my briefcase and replaced the contents of it with crayons and a stuffed teddy bear. FML

#3332879 (224)

I agree, your life sucks (34222) - you deserved it (3282)

On 06/29/2009 at 6:31am - work - by Andrew (man) - Canada

Today, I finally got the courage to tell my parents that I'm gay. My mom said "Yeah, we know." When I asked how they knew, my dad, without looking up from the tv, said, "We've been monitoring your Internet history." FML

#3330800 (178)

I agree, your life sucks (36140) - you deserved it (10872)

On 06/29/2009 at 1:41am - misc - by Asterisk1009 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, we spread my uncle's ashes at my grandparent's house. We were on a hill overlooking a sunset. It was a beautiful ceremony... until the winds changed direction. Our whole family wound up covered in my Uncle. He's still stuck in my hair. FML

#3078686 (115)

I agree, your life sucks (39887) - you deserved it (2446)

On 06/21/2009 at 12:23am - misc - by Lee (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my older brother told me that no matter how fast you run at automatic sliding doors, they'll open in time. So I ran at a pair. They don't. FML

#3016666 (233)

I agree, your life sucks (10039) - you deserved it (72683)

On 06/19/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by kat9232000 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, it was my 18th birthday. I got one thing: a fancy electric toothbrush from my little sister. I would say I'm happy to have something rather than nothing, except, for as long as the toothbrush works, there will be a Hannah Montana concert going on in my mouth. FML

#2935606 (185)

I agree, your life sucks (40943) - you deserved it (2557)

On 06/16/2009 at 7:14am - misc - by BirthdayTeeth - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, I rode my bike to work. While biking on the road, I gave a hand signal for turning left. A car passing the opposite way veered towards me and attempted to give me a high five. I now have cuts all over my body and my bike is in two pieces. FML

#2925389 (297)

I agree, your life sucks (64280) - you deserved it (3601)

On 06/15/2009 at 10:13pm - misc - by Shaun (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

#2772494 (859)

I agree, your life sucks (85945) - you deserved it (50907)

On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I had to play the role of superman in a production on stage. They had to stuff my underwear because my 'thing' wasn't big enough. FML

#2769644 (207)

I agree, your life sucks (61258) - you deserved it (4713)

On 06/10/2009 at 11:46am - misc - by superman_not (man) - United Kingdom (Perth and Kinross)

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

#2532710 (1201)

I agree, your life sucks (55732) - you deserved it (136029)

On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - animals - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)