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Offline (the 11/12/2015 at 4:32am) | Search for a member
About lilpsyco : There is a strong possibility my name is Liam.
I try to not judge anyone by appearance, sexual preferences, or past mistakes.
My favorite bands are:
Avenge Sevenfold, Disturbed, Five Finger Death Punch, Bullet for My Valentine, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Stone Sour, Black Veil Brides, August Burns Red, Asking Alexandria, My Chemical Romance, We As Human, and Slipknot
PujwI' HIvlu'chugh quvbe'lu'.
Not to be rude, but if you actually have the time or desire to read the entirety of this then you may need to reevaluate your priorities.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
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Today, my 6-year-old daughter touched a tray I'd just pulled out of the oven. I quickly swatted her hand away, but then noticed she wasn't hurt or burned at all. I then gingerly touched the tray and got scalded. My daughter giggled maniacally as I screamed. To be honest, I'm now terrified of her. FML
Today, I asked my shut in of a daughter why she was sniffing black pepper. She said she was practicing to make her sneezes sound like coughs, thereby decreasing the likelihood of someone talking to her. FML
Today, I overcame my lack of social confidence and got a date for the first time in 10 or so years. After a while, my date admitted that she's a schizophrenic with dissociative identity disorder. I guess it's back to being single. FML
Today, my mom demanded that I go into the basement and fix the water heater. I told her that I had no idea how to fix it, so she threw my phone down the stairs, told me to Google it, and locked the basement door behind me. It's been two hours. FML
Today, a friend sent me a song. I didn't have time to listen to it all, so I listened to the first 30 seconds of it to get a feel for it. It was nice and uplifting, so I sent it to my mom. Turns out, after the first 30 seconds, the singer brightens his day by singing about his enormous penis. FML
Today, I moved to a big city, alone, from a small town. After convincing myself it wasn't that scary, I hailed my first cab. The driver spent the 30 minute ride from the airport telling me about how "sometimes, you just gotta shoot a guy" because if they steal your shoes, they deserve it. FML
Today, my dad and I were having a conversation about boneless chicken. He told me that they are raised boneless, going into detail, and I bought every word of it. Not until he started laughing did I realize how gullible I really am. I'm 22. FML
Friday 27 November 2015