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lilpimpsmama

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lilpimpsmama

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 24 August 1983 (31 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 286
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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lilpimpsmama's page activity

Visits<b>becca1185</b> - the 03/23/2013 at 10:50am<b>kingsian</b> - the 02/02/2013 at 10:11am<b>yresim</b> - the 02/01/2013 at 3:26pm

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lilpimpsmama's favorite FMLs

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, he called me "Mom." FML

#19391637
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38187) - you deserved it (2892)

On 04/01/2012 at 10:18pm - intimacy - by ohgod... - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I woke up to shuffling noises coming from downstairs. Suspecting the worst, I jumped out of bed, and whispered over my shoulder for my girlfriend to stay quiet. Only after going downstairs and taking a swing in the dark with my bat did I figure out it was just my girlfriend foraging for snacks. FML

#19389998
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9423) - you deserved it (21732)

On 04/01/2012 at 5:36pm - misc - by Zack - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I called my girlfriend saying "I think we need to break up." She said "No, I don't think so," and hung up. FML

#19387601
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16675) - you deserved it (30040)

On 04/01/2012 at 10:03am - love - by Jeff make - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found a used condom in my trash can. I have been happily married to my wife for 7 years, and we use other forms of birth control. FML

#19380056
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37679) - you deserved it (2428)

On 03/31/2012 at 12:49am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I felt manly. I spent almost the entire day peeling paint, power sanding, and applying Spackle for my grandma. Strutting with masculinity, I headed for the shower, only to let out a womanly yelp at a spider hanging at eye level around a corner. Manliness gone. FML

#19372815
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10972) - you deserved it (19600)

On 03/29/2012 at 9:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. Let's just say pubes and toilet paper residue were the least of my problems. FML

#19330918
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47108) - you deserved it (4588)

On 03/23/2012 at 1:55am - intimacy - by mrricecakes (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went to Hooters for lunch. My food was brought to me by a man. FML

#19288594
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24461) - you deserved it (14349)

On 03/16/2012 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I managed to staple my finger while showing my kindergartner class how to properly use one. FML

#19286997
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9146) - you deserved it (19855)

On 03/16/2012 at 2:02am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I broke my little toe. It got stuck in my panties as I struggled to get a leg through. FML

#19283083
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21493) - you deserved it (5686) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/15/2012 at 3:28pm - health - by Sica - France

Today, whilst stacking the dish washer I dropped a steak knife. Luckily, I caught it just before it hit my foot. I fist-pumped to celebrate my amazing catch and stabbed myself in the cheek. My parents couldn't stop laughing all the way to the hospital. FML

#19277345
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10151) - you deserved it (31490)

On 03/14/2012 at 3:11pm - misc - by zztopspinner (man) - United States

Today, I found out that my resume contained the word "masturbation" in the skills section, courtesy of a practical joke by my best friend. I have been using this CV unsuccessfully for over two months. FML

#19270252
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29156) - you deserved it (7290)

On 03/13/2012 at 8:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I fell over a wet floor sign warning you not to fall over. The irony hurt more than the fall. FML

#14849029
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21007) - you deserved it (8783)

On 02/05/2011 at 4:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, my mother walked in on me and my boyfriend having sex. Afterwards, she informed me I would look a lot hotter if I smiled more. FML

#14755062
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30409) - you deserved it (8164)

On 01/29/2011 at 7:41am - intimacy - by anonymous - Australia (Victoria)



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