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lilpimpsmama

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lilpimpsmama

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 24 August 1983 (31 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 310
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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lilpimpsmama's page activity

Visits<b>becca1185</b> - the 03/23/2013 at 10:50am<b>kingsian</b> - the 02/02/2013 at 10:11am<b>yresim</b> - the 02/01/2013 at 3:26pm

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lilpimpsmama's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to see my dermatologist friend for a free consultation on my terrible acne. During my visit, she said I probably won't be getting any more pimples. Excited, I asked her how she could tell. She replied, "There's no more room for it." FML

#19787608
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27124) - you deserved it (2264)

On 06/14/2012 at 3:34pm - health - by ultraattitude - United States

Today, I had an interview for my dream job. I was offered coffee and a donut. It was going well until I took a bite of the donut and started choking on it. I coughed so hard I ended up vomiting into his garbage can. FML

#19781489
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23614) - you deserved it (3237)

On 06/13/2012 at 10:50am - work - by lonelyharts86 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I called the landlord about the mouse I keep seeing in my kitchen. He wasted no time accusing me of keeping it as a pet, and went off on me about his "no pets" policy. FML

#19781168
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22078) - you deserved it (1576)

On 06/13/2012 at 8:29am - misc - by brokeass - United States

Today, I woke up to a guy outside my house, who wanted to give me flowers and take me out on a date. Aside from it all being pretty fucking creepy anyway, the guy is my not quite right in the head second cousin, who's apparently now head-over-heels in love with me. FML

#19778699
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24542) - you deserved it (1948)

On 06/12/2012 at 8:24pm - love - by Az (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my father-in-law called me an idiot for buying him coffee cake because he can't have caffeine. He refuses to believe that there's as much coffee in coffee cake as there is ham in a hamburger. FML

#19742192
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19865) - you deserved it (2456)

On 06/06/2012 at 1:23am - health - by 635CSi (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was given a lapdance by a pregnant stripper. FML

#19720443
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13931) - you deserved it (36521)

On 06/02/2012 at 11:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when he smells bacon as he does when we have sex. Now everytime we have sex, he whispers "Bacon..." in my ear. FML

#19719748
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15007) - you deserved it (28422)

On 06/02/2012 at 6:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I had so much to do, I didn't know where to start. So I didn't. FML

#19714828
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11875) - you deserved it (41279)

On 06/01/2012 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous - Austria (Wien)

Today, in a rush to get my clothes back on at my girlfriend's house at the sound of her parents opening the front door, I forgot to take the condom off. Her dad watched it fall out of my pant leg and onto the kitchen floor. FML

#19710621
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19047) - you deserved it (39558)

On 05/31/2012 at 4:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I drunkenly staggered home and crashed on the couch. When I woke up I realized it wasn't my house. FML

#19710160
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10153) - you deserved it (29613)

On 05/31/2012 at 3:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, while sitting in my Forensic Psychology class, my professor listed all of the main traits that indicate someone may very well be a sociopath. Every single trait described my fiancé perfectly. FML

#19708258
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27360) - you deserved it (5145)

On 05/31/2012 at 2:50am - love - by Getmeout (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend stuck her finger up my butt while giving me a hand-job, promising it would feel really good. It just felt awkward and made me need to poop. FML

#19703392
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35046) - you deserved it (8646)

On 05/30/2012 at 5:46am - intimacy - by Brax (man) - United States

Today, after a surprise candlelit dinner and a two bottles of wine for my birthday, my boyfriend and I decided to take a sexy shower together. It ended with us both drunk, naked, and crying, wedged into a small tub together, talking about our dead pets. FML

#19702897
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30673) - you deserved it (7429)

On 05/30/2012 at 1:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my fiancé and I broke up, and he won't answer my calls or texts. I don't want him back; he has my dog. FML

#19702811
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27176) - you deserved it (3036)

On 05/30/2012 at 1:25am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my daughter sat me down for a long talk. It turns out that she thinks she is the Chosen One. FML



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