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lilpimpsmama's favorite FMLs
Today, I told my parents that what I'd really like for my 21st birthday is the 1865 edition of the Memoirs of Saint-Simon in 22 volumes that I found online for $200, and have been wanting for months. They laughed and said, "Yeah, right. We'll get you an iPhone and perhaps you'll become normal." FML
by HistoryFreak / 02/01/2013 at 4:19am / France / Geek
by ohfuckwaffles / 01/29/2013 at 12:28am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by great / 01/25/2013 at 3:36pm / Puerto Rico / Intimacy
Today, I learned my dog had eaten a roll of vet wrap, which is like a long strip of bandage. I learned this when she tried to pass it in the yard today, and could only do so with my help. It seemed to never end. FML
by Anonymous / 01/24/2013 at 7:28pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
by ohokay / 01/23/2013 at 9:59pm / United States (New York) / Love
Today, I was cleaning at work when an elderly gentleman walked towards me, paused, and with a wink said, "That's what I like to see: a girl on her knees." This is the same workplace where another old man informed me that my yellow uniform made me look like a "suggestive cheesecake." FML
by Job Seeking / 01/22/2013 at 6:14am / Australia (Victoria) / Work
by Anonymous / 01/21/2013 at 7:48am / United States (Maryland) / Work
by Anonymous / 01/14/2013 at 12:58pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
Today, a girl I've been talking to online for a while asked me if I wanted to meet her in person. Two hours of driving later, I end up at her house. When she opened the door, she screamed and called the cops on me. While detained, she called my phone asking why I never showed up today. FML
by GDBeast / 01/09/2013 at 6:55pm / United States / Love
by kk / 01/09/2013 at 11:07am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/20/2012 at 11:05pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
Today, I was separating my notes into two piles: one to save for exam studying and one to throw out. I finished separating, picked up the junk pile and absentmindedly shredded it. Afterwards, I looked down to see the junk pile still completely intact. Goodbye, passing grades. FML
by shark / 11/26/2012 at 10:03pm / United States (Texas) / Work
by Anonymous / 11/24/2012 at 9:35pm / Canada (Alberta) / Health
by SebastianMiko / 11/09/2012 at 2:18am / Canada (Alberta) / Love