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lilpimpsmama

Offline (the 12/29/2015 at 1:40am) | Search for a member

lilpimpsmama

0Fucked!

lilpimpsmamalilpimpsmama
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 24 August 1983 (32 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 419
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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lilpimpsmama's page activity

Visits<b>becca1185</b> - the 03/23/2013 at 10:50am<b>kingsian</b> - the 02/02/2013 at 10:11am<b>yresim</b> - the 02/01/2013 at 3:26pm

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lilpimpsmama's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my parents that what I'd really like for my 21st birthday is the 1865 edition of the Memoirs of Saint-Simon in 22 volumes that I found online for $200, and have been wanting for months. They laughed and said, "Yeah, right. We'll get you an iPhone and perhaps you'll become normal." FML

#20488681
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36527) - you deserved it (9455)

On 02/01/2013 at 4:19am - misc - by HistoryFreak (woman) - France

Today, after much self-doubt and awkwardness, I learned that I look amazing in a little black dress. Now I have to figure out what I'm going to tell my wife. FML

Today, my girlfriend complimented me on my ass. Before I could say thanks, she continued by commenting that she wouldn't mind "breaking it in". FML

#20478275
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38118) - you deserved it (6313)

On 01/25/2013 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by great (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I learned my dog had eaten a roll of vet wrap, which is like a long strip of bandage. I learned this when she tried to pass it in the yard today, and could only do so with my help. It seemed to never end. FML

#20477009
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29944) - you deserved it (2888)

On 01/24/2013 at 7:28pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found my boyfriend's Facebook page. I also found his wife's. FML

#20475642
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45902) - you deserved it (5133)

On 01/23/2013 at 9:59pm - love - by ohokay (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was cleaning at work when an elderly gentleman walked towards me, paused, and with a wink said, "That's what I like to see: a girl on her knees." This is the same workplace where another old man informed me that my yellow uniform made me look like a "suggestive cheesecake." FML

#20472773
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33421) - you deserved it (2863)

On 01/22/2013 at 6:14am - work - by Job Seeking (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after applying for a job at a tanning salon, I was told they don't hire "naturally tan" people. I'm black. FML

#20470936
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50280) - you deserved it (4256)

On 01/21/2013 at 7:48am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, while I was having sex, he stopped, looked at me all seriously and said, "Permission to climax, ma'am?" FML

#20458937
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48137) - you deserved it (9768)

On 01/14/2013 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, a girl I've been talking to online for a while asked me if I wanted to meet her in person. Two hours of driving later, I end up at her house. When she opened the door, she screamed and called the cops on me. While detained, she called my phone asking why I never showed up today. FML

#20450521
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41494) - you deserved it (6117)

On 01/09/2013 at 6:55pm - love - by GDBeast (man) - United States

Today, I asked my mom what her biggest craving was when she was pregnant with me. Her answer: an abortion. FML

#20449894
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53665) - you deserved it (5133)

On 01/09/2013 at 11:07am - misc - by kk - United States

Today, in the "end-of-the-world" spirit, I asked my boyfriend to marry me. His response was, "It's really windy out." FML

#20410172
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19918) - you deserved it (28018)

On 12/20/2012 at 11:05pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was separating my notes into two piles: one to save for exam studying and one to throw out. I finished separating, picked up the junk pile and absentmindedly shredded it. Afterwards, I looked down to see the junk pile still completely intact. Goodbye, passing grades. FML

#20180442
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11810) - you deserved it (30091)

On 11/26/2012 at 10:03pm - work - by shark - United States (Texas)

Today, I fell off my boyfriend's motorcycle. I had a few scrapes and bruises, and my boyfriend called for an ambulance as a precaution. The paramedics managed to drop me on my head. FML

#20177257
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28999) - you deserved it (2035)

On 11/24/2012 at 9:35pm - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, on my job as a police officer, I received a typical domestic disturbance call. Not so typical was the address. Guess my wife's affair went terribly wrong while I was on shift. FML

#20155904
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45611) - you deserved it (2153)

On 11/09/2012 at 2:18am - love - by SebastianMiko (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend of a year broke up with me by saying, "It's not you, it's me. I have a terrible taste in women." FML

#20140004
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30469) - you deserved it (3112)

On 10/30/2012 at 9:27am - love - by LonelyMe -



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