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lilmzfob

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lilmzfob

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 23 August 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 688
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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lilmzfob's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that I drunkenly texted my boss yesterday asking for nude pictures. He sent them. I'm afraid to go to work tomorrow. FML

#12967216
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14108) - you deserved it (34959)

On 09/08/2010 at 8:11pm - intimacy - by WTF?!?! - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to use my butthole to negotiate with my husband so I can get a new tattoo. FML

#12753768
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13697) - you deserved it (47729)

On 08/26/2010 at 9:32am - intimacy - by H8TR (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was enjoying a nice shower in the morning. While I was massaging the shampoo out of my hair, I saw the gardener walking past my bathroom window, yelling "Good morning" and waving in my direction. My left boob politely waved back at him. FML

#12726164
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13496) - you deserved it (24166)

On 08/24/2010 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by AlexaSt2611 (woman) - Paraguay (Central)

Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML

#12677495
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41700) - you deserved it (12557)

On 08/22/2010 at 2:58am - kids - by Bailey - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my incredibly self conscious girlfriend decided to get over her fears and let me see her in her underwear. She did a short strip tease, crawled on top of me and asked what I thought. I couldn't think of anything to say besides, "Your bra and panties don't match." FML

#12626936
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9327) - you deserved it (76622)

On 08/19/2010 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by captainocd - United States (Texas)

Today, my new $100 electronic cigarette came in the mail. I was so excited to try it out, I used it on the drive to work. The people who sold it to me weren't kidding when they said it looked and felt real. I threw it out the window when I was done. FML

#12604182
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10025) - you deserved it (56834)

On 08/18/2010 at 12:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my 24 year old girlfriend plugged her ears and stomped her feet while making really loud noises in our local video store. She then refused to stop until I agreed to rent and watch The Notebook with her. FML

#12352177
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36906) - you deserved it (13868)

On 08/06/2010 at 12:34pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML

#12030730
312 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25016) - you deserved it (49104)

On 07/21/2010 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Wawawiwa (woman) - Namibia (Windhoek)

Today, I moved into my new apartment and met my new roommate. Immediately after shaking hands he suggested that we make a "masturbation schedule" to avoid any awkward situations. Way to avoid an awkward situation. FML

#11994829
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38231) - you deserved it (3758)

On 07/20/2010 at 12:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was walking around in the mall when I dropped my purse. When I bent down to pick it up, some guy came up behind me, humped my ass, then ran away laughing. FML

#11435482
329 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58397) - you deserved it (12390)

On 06/24/2010 at 8:45pm - intimacy - by WorstLifeEver - United States

Today, my siblings overpowered me and duct taped me to a chair. Helpless, I had to wait until my dad got home so he could help me. Instead, the first thing he did was reach for his camera to take a picture. FML

#11148383
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32458) - you deserved it (7424)

On 06/12/2010 at 2:55pm - kids - by kingwalrus - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Suddenly, he grabbed my 'lower' lips and moved them in a talking motion, proclaiming that "the talking vagina declares war and wants to conquer the great penis." FML

#11076203
355 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48535) - you deserved it (17271)

On 06/09/2010 at 7:34am - intimacy - by thetalkingvagina (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Suddenly, he grabbed my 'lower' lips and moved them in a talking motion, proclaiming that "the talking vagina declares war and wants to conquer the great penis." FML

#11076203
355 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48535) - you deserved it (17271)

On 06/09/2010 at 7:34am - intimacy - by thetalkingvagina (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, the satellite radio at work went on the fritz, playing one song over and over. Management wouldn't turn it off, though, because then customers would miss out on all those upcoming-sale announcements that run intermittently. Meanwhile, I got to listen to "Footloose" for eight hours. FML

#9099724
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24012) - you deserved it (2090)

On 03/15/2010 at 9:33am - work - by PunchingKennyLoggins (woman) - United States (Texas)



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