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lilmzfob

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 23 August 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 704
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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lilmzfob's favorite FMLs

Today, I was lying on the floor playing with my cat. I was holding her in the air, when my sister tripped over the TV cord and unplugged the cable. The TV made a loud fuzzy sound, I got scared and threw my cat in the air. I got scratched in the face by a falling cat. FML

#18384593
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14961) - you deserved it (23022)

On 11/29/2011 at 11:15am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was looking through some old family pictures for a scrapbook I'm making. I found images of my dad passed out in his underwear, my great-grandpa having a drunken bath, and an unidentified moustachioed man sitting on the toilet, giving the photographer the finger. FML

#18371495
113 comments

Today, I was woken up at 6am to the sound of my mother on the back deck of the house hooting like an owl. FML

#18346239
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22164) - you deserved it (2130)

On 11/25/2011 at 11:24am - misc - by tireedddddd - United States (New York)

Today, I got mugged by a guy who was threatening me with a stapler. FML

#18191865
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27192) - you deserved it (8011)

On 11/08/2011 at 9:39am - misc - by StaplerScared - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after a year and a half, I finally admitted to myself that I'm in an abusive relationship. Not with a person though, with my cat. FML

#18145611
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24374) - you deserved it (9345)

On 11/03/2011 at 6:56am - animals - by Nicole557 (woman) - United States

Today, I was trying to get my boyfriend in the mood so I held his hands against the bed, and whispered, "Have you been a bad boy?" Thinking he'd say something kinky back, he replied "Yes Santa" then burst out laughing. FML

#18134142
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31250) - you deserved it (14662)

On 11/01/2011 at 10:36pm - intimacy - by HOe HOe HOe (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML

#18083202
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40539) - you deserved it (5226)

On 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I woke up after a few friends came over last night. There are eggs, coins and Oreos glued to the ceiling, 10 broken jars, no food left, and most of the contents of my house are in the garden. And I'm naked and covered in permanent marker drawings of Pokémon. My parents return in an hour. FML

#17899100
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11770) - you deserved it (48185)

On 10/03/2011 at 9:19pm - misc - by danii - Reserved

Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML

#17884513
422 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32807) - you deserved it (9217)

On 10/02/2011 at 3:27am - kids - by TraumatizedMother (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at my job in the Halloween store. I had to tell someone, "Please stop hitting the Bieber wig with that pimp cane." FML

Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML

#17767423
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29513) - you deserved it (8248)

On 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm - kids - by awesomekidsmum - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at work, my boss stared at me from behind while I made hand gestures and noises at a toaster. I was pretending to be Magneto. FML

#17642045
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8655) - you deserved it (28462)

On 09/02/2011 at 3:48am - work - by dragos_dgt (man) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep. He was also completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML

#17628781
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31432) - you deserved it (2999)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:00am - kids - by piece of shed - United States (New York)

Today, I've gotten the most calls of my life. Turns out the idiot who changed the sign on my local pizza hut put up the wrong phone number. My phone number. I've already received 16 calls. FML

#17568217
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24327) - you deserved it (2211)

On 08/24/2011 at 1:14pm - misc - by Marty - United States (Michigan)

Today, my house got broken into. Thankfully they didn't steal anything. They did, however, move things around into strange places and mess up my underwear. I have severe OCD, so this is probably worse than if they had taken everything. FML

#17549982
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26544) - you deserved it (3824)

On 08/22/2011 at 6:10pm - misc - by WTFwhywouldyoudothat - United Kingdom (Rotherham)



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