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lilmzfob

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lilmzfob

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 23 August 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 804
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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lilmzfob's favorite FMLs

Today, I caught mah boyfriend wearing yoga pants and taking pictures of his butt to post on a "Grls in yoga pants" site. He saw mah expression and said, "Nah, it's cool, I hid mah junk so they'll think it's a chick!" real FML

#20451178
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39260) - you deserved it (5392)

On 01/10/2013 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Amy (woman) - United States

Today someone paintd the "Dark Mark" on the side of mah car. It won't come off and mah kids refuse to get in cuz it means "a wizard did in there." FML

#20407286
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34816) - you deserved it (3792)

On 12/19/2012 at 9:59am - kids - by spellbound - Australia (Western Australia)

Today..!! during a conversation..!! my boss said..!! "What...hat?" Before I could stop myself..!! I replied..!! "In the butt." FML

#20191552
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12021) - you deserved it (28252)

On 12/04/2012 at 9:43pm - work - by whitecollar - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I realized that I spend the same amount of money on my phone bill as I do on Nutella. FML

#20123737
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8058) - you deserved it (24857)

On 10/19/2012 at 10:19am - health - by Nutellalover (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, ma sister tougt it would be funny to place a cardboard cut-out of a person at te foot of ma bed!! I woke up, saw te cut-out from te corner of ma eye, fell out of bed, landed on ma and wrong, an broke two fingers!! Se got it all on video!! FML

#20110797
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21497) - you deserved it (1960)

On 10/10/2012 at 5:44pm - misc - by scaredofcutouts (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, wile getting pretty intimate wit my newlywed wife in te car, a cop turned is ligts on. As e was walking up, I was trying to get my pants back on but tey wouldn't fit over my knees. Te cop just lauged an walked away. Turns out my wife ad my pants on an I was trying to putted ers on. FML

#20048187
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29610) - you deserved it (7004)

On 08/29/2012 at 5:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, ma identical twin sister's boyfriend walked over to me, andispered in ma ear, "I know wat u look like naked." fat FML

#19776975
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41000) - you deserved it (3879)

On 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm - misc - by creeped out - United States (New York)

Today, I was using a public toilethen someone entered the stall next to mine. Instead of using the facilities, the person in there reached under the stall to steal my bag. Fortunately, I was holding the strap so they couldn't take it. Unfortunately, they decided to take my right shoe instead. FML

Today, after a very painful mout surgery, I went ome to take a nap . Ten my nose started bleeding, so I stuck a tissue in it and fell asleep . Wen I woke up, I was so ig from painkillers tat wen I saw te tissue, I tougt it was a gost . I screamed so loud I burst a stitc . FML

#19750023
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30658) - you deserved it (4591)

On 06/07/2012 at 2:12pm - health - by LaurenB (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today , I approached a cute girl at a club,hen she started barking at me like a rabid dog . Thinking she might be mentally unhinged , I left , only to see the same girl laughing her ass off with her friends minutes later . When I went back over , her friends started barking at me too . FML

#19739013
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26084) - you deserved it (6037)

On 06/05/2012 at 3:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me in a restaurant in front of a lot of people. Once I said yes, some guy yelled out, "SEX. SEX. SEX." My boyfriend yelled back, "LATER!" mega FML

#19734660
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30774) - you deserved it (6283)

On 06/04/2012 at 7:50pm - intimacy - by BooBabe (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Taday I Said To Mah Boyfriend That He Makes The Same Noises When He Smells Bacon As He Does When We Have Sex . Now Everytime We Have Sex He Whispers "Bacon..." In Mah Ear . Fat FML

#19719748
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15096) - you deserved it (28553)

On 06/02/2012 at 6:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, mah boyfriand callad ma, panicking. Apparantly ha had a haadacha, but wasn't concantrating onhat tablat ha grabbad, and accidantally took tablat 4 ( raliaf of pariod pain ). Ha was convincad ha was going to grow ovaria ovarnight. FML

#19697677
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23281) - you deserved it (2467)

On 05/29/2012 at 3:54am - health - by sopheeah - Australia (Victoria)

Today, at work, friend dared me to answer the next call on phone by saying, "This is your local sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it." I did it. The person on the phone was boss. mega FML

#19682982
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11486) - you deserved it (42615)

On 05/26/2012 at 10:42am - intimacy - by girly girly - United States (Texas)

Taday I got home to fine our house broken into. Among other things, the thieves took our television, my laptop and several pieces of expensive jewelry. Also missing was my daughter's My Little Pony collection. I think we were robbd by a Brony. FML

#19450814
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23886) - you deserved it (1880)

On 04/11/2012 at 5:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)



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