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lillord55

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lillord55

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  • Number of visits : 890
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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lillord55's page activity

Visits<b>Tarlachia</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 9:41pm<b>Demonyx</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 2:42am<b>ems81193</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 8:47pm<b>KittehFreak</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 7:00pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 10:51pm<b>AlliTheKat</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 9:39pm<b>juanschwartz</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 8:32pm<b>wellfuuucckme</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 6:37pm<b>kered_iz_kool</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 9:56pm<b>Faith13</b> - the 06/30/2013 at 8:40pm<b>boredSOLDIER</b> - the 06/30/2013 at 3:09pm<b>MaliaA</b> - the 04/24/2013 at 10:17pm

lillord55's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of lillord55's badges

lillord55's favorite FMLs

Today, my sister turned the volume on my phone way up and changed the ringtone to a woman's blood-curdling scream. I found this out when she called my phone at 2am as I slept next to it. I pissed my pants and fell out of bed screaming in terror. I'll never hear the end of this. FML

#21313211
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36491) - you deserved it (3592)

On 12/07/2014 at 3:54pm - kids - by terdberglerforlyfe (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML

#21262210
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39186) - you deserved it (9906)

On 09/21/2014 at 1:11am - intimacy - by RuinedTheMood (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML

#21234106
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48482) - you deserved it (5594)

On 08/10/2014 at 3:26pm - intimacy - by jackie89 (woman) - United Kingdom (Cornwall)

Today, I was browsing the People of Walmart site, chuckling at all the weirdos on there, when I came across a picture of my mom. FML

#21214404
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50483) - you deserved it (6790)

On 07/19/2014 at 6:38pm - misc - by Death By Parent (woman) - United States

Today, I discovered the downside to having a "sneak-attacks-allowed" tickle war with my 4-year-old son. I had to explain to several outraged strangers at the supermarket why my son kept flinching and pulling away whenever I made any sudden movements near him. FML

#21207892
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41640) - you deserved it (6149)

On 07/13/2014 at 12:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

#21205823
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50701) - you deserved it (6637)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at a bar, when a heavily drunk guy came up to me and slurred "Fuucckkk lady, your face... not even with beer goggles!" FML

#21153496
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47938) - you deserved it (5029)

On 05/27/2014 at 3:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I told my girlfriend that I love her. She panicked and blurted out our S&M safeword. FML

#21152151
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47750) - you deserved it (6589)

On 05/26/2014 at 11:53am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my mom showing her friends that she can deepthroat a banana. That's something I could've lived a long and happy life without seeing. FML

#21141912
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52286) - you deserved it (5042)

On 05/16/2014 at 3:26pm - intimacy - by fuck florida (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend admitted to my best friend that she basically just sees me as a dildo with annoying emotions. FML

#21138864
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51771) - you deserved it (7010)

On 05/13/2014 at 5:31pm - love - by taintedlover (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, a guy asked for my number at the grocery store, but I politely told him I wasn't interested. He followed me home and took a shit on my doorstep. FML

#21137065
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51898) - you deserved it (7190)

On 05/11/2014 at 8:14pm - love - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Hawke's Bay)

Today, my mom made a Facebook post about me starting my period and for everyone to be nice to me. FML

#21135508
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51617) - you deserved it (4503)

On 05/10/2014 at 9:35am - misc - by ColoredPencil13 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while at work as a telemarketer, I called a customer on his home phone. Once I was connected, an automated voice said, "To speak with a customer, please press 1." Confused, I pressed one. I then heard loud laughter followed by, "Oh my god! What a dumbass!" before they hung up. FML

#21133762
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37815) - you deserved it (20074)

On 05/07/2014 at 11:57pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I met this overweight chick and ended up sleeping with her. We were doing it doggy style and it was great until she said, "Milk me like a cow." I can no longer drink milk without hearing that in my head. FML

#21132249
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52113) - you deserved it (19051)

On 05/06/2014 at 9:55am - intimacy - by chumman (man) - United States (New York)



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