Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

lillord55

Search for a member

lillord55

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 517
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

lillord55's page activity

Visits<b>buckdharma</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 10:51pm<b>AlliTheKat</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 9:39pm<b>juanschwartz</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 8:32pm<b>wellfuuucckme</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 6:37pm<b>kered_iz_kool</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 9:56pm<b>Faith13</b> - the 06/30/2013 at 8:40pm<b>boredSOLDIER</b> - the 06/30/2013 at 3:09pm<b>MaliaA</b> - the 04/24/2013 at 10:17pm

lillord55's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of lillord55's badges

lillord55's favorite FMLs

Today, I was browsing the People of Walmart site, chuckling at all the weirdos on there, when I came across a picture of my mom. FML

#21214404
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48615) - you deserved it (6692)

On 07/19/2014 at 6:38pm - misc - by Death By Parent (woman) - United States

Today, I discovered the downside to having a "sneak-attacks-allowed" tickle war with my 4-year-old son. I had to explain to several outraged strangers at the supermarket why my son kept flinching and pulling away whenever I made any sudden movements near him. FML

#21207892
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39846) - you deserved it (5772)

On 07/13/2014 at 12:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

#21205823
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49537) - you deserved it (6572)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at a bar, when a heavily drunk guy came up to me and slurred "Fuucckkk lady, your face... not even with beer goggles!" FML

#21153496
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47806) - you deserved it (5022)

On 05/27/2014 at 3:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I told my girlfriend that I love her. She panicked and blurted out our S&M safeword. FML

#21152151
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46224) - you deserved it (6393)

On 05/26/2014 at 11:53am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my mom showing her friends that she can deepthroat a banana. That's something I could've lived a long and happy life without seeing. FML

#21141912
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51085) - you deserved it (4987)

On 05/16/2014 at 3:26pm - intimacy - by fuck florida (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend admitted to my best friend that she basically just sees me as a dildo with annoying emotions. FML

#21138864
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51073) - you deserved it (6931)

On 05/13/2014 at 5:31pm - love - by taintedlover (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, a guy asked for my number at the grocery store, but I politely told him I wasn't interested. He followed me home and took a shit on my doorstep. FML

#21137065
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51636) - you deserved it (7175)

On 05/11/2014 at 8:14pm - love - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Hawke's Bay)

Today, my mom made a Facebook post about me starting my period and for everyone to be nice to me. FML

#21135508
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50919) - you deserved it (4424)

On 05/10/2014 at 9:35am - misc - by ColoredPencil13 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while at work as a telemarketer, I called a customer on his home phone. Once I was connected, an automated voice said, "To speak with a customer, please press 1." Confused, I pressed one. I then heard loud laughter followed by, "Oh my god! What a dumbass!" before they hung up. FML

#21133762
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37445) - you deserved it (19871)

On 05/07/2014 at 11:57pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I met this overweight chick and ended up sleeping with her. We were doing it doggy style and it was great until she said, "Milk me like a cow." I can no longer drink milk without hearing that in my head. FML

#21132249
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48945) - you deserved it (18038)

On 05/06/2014 at 9:55am - intimacy - by chumman (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was told that I'm very likely to win the "Most Likely to Exceed 5 Cats" yearbook award. My best friend said, "They wanted it to be 'Most Likely to Die Alone', but it was a bit harsh". Someone else added, "It's still pretty likely, though". FML

#21128889
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40970) - you deserved it (3983)

On 05/02/2014 at 3:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was in the car with my boyfriend, who was driving down the highway with the windows down. All of a sudden, everything went black. A cattle truck had sped past, and I had been hit by cow faeces travelling at 110km an hour. My boyfriend was hysterical. None of it hit him. FML

#21127873
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48274) - you deserved it (4391)

On 05/01/2014 at 10:17am - animals - by Felicityfrank (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while at a restaurant with my husband for our 4-year anniversary, he kept behaving strangely, breathing deeply and eventually sighing happily. I thought the wine had just gone to his head. Nope; he proudly admitted later that he'd jerked off without anyone noticing, even me. FML

#21126320
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43472) - you deserved it (4972)

On 04/29/2014 at 2:48pm - misc - by god (woman) - United Kingdom (West Lothian)

Today, when I went to the shopping centre, the automatic door wouldn't open for me. I had to stand there and wait until someone else walked by to open it for me. I suffer from dwarfism and this is a daily occurrence. FML

#21118654
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51913) - you deserved it (3962)

On 04/21/2014 at 12:11am - misc - by shorty (man) - Australia (Queensland)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: