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Today, I arrived home to find my cat dead and note saying, "Sorry, I tripped over him." Not only is my cat dead, but I was robbed by a polite thief. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46350) - you deserved it (1906)
On 11/14/2010 at 2:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - South Africa
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. He got on the bed on all fours and crawled towards me, saying "My precious... my precious" in Gollum's voice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31980) - you deserved it (5419)
On 11/09/2010 at 9:10pm - intimacy - by single (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I met my roommate for the first time. I walked in the door to see him in full Roman gladiator gear, screaming at the computer because he lost 18 knights. He also told me he wakes up every 3 hours to make sure his army is still intact. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29210) - you deserved it (2257)
On 10/20/2010 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my little sister asked me what she would look like when she got older. I told her that she would probably look a lot like me. She started to cry. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25035) - you deserved it (2723)
On 02/06/2010 at 3:15am - kids - by Misty3242 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was rushed to the hospital because I was crying so hard I couldn't breathe. Why was I crying? My favorite anime character died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12375) - you deserved it (60205)
On 01/30/2010 at 3:54pm - misc - by Obsessed (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was playing around on Photo Booth, using weird effects on pictures of myself. I clicked on one and thought to myself that it was a really ugly effect. Then I noticed that it was set on normal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12892) - you deserved it (15974)
On 01/06/2010 at 4:05pm - misc - by ugly5402 (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my friends took my phone and changed all the contact's names to characters from Harry Potter. I have over a hundred contacts and no idea who I'm talking to. I've been texting Draco Malfoy for 4 hours now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15464) - you deserved it (2686)
On 09/18/2009 at 4:41am - misc - by MissMSE (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, as I was walking through the park I had to yawn. In mid-yawn, with my mouth wide open, I walked right through a spider web getting both the spider and the prey it was eating stuck in my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36070) - you deserved it (5645)
On 09/08/2009 at 3:02pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (91440) - you deserved it (27398)
On 07/26/2009 at 1:57am - love - by treegirl (woman) - United States
Today, I noticed a string was following behind our family cat. After close inspection I realized it was a plastic kite string he partially digested. I had to pull the other three feet of plastic kite tail from his rectum. He purred the entire time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58456) - you deserved it (3710)
On 07/03/2009 at 3:06pm - animals - by RachelDC (woman) - United States (West Virginia)
Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (139307) - you deserved it (32522)
On 05/17/2009 at 8:33am - intimacy - by wtfdreams (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was shopping at a supermarket. As I was about to pay for my items, I noticed the cashier was very cute. Trying to be nice, I smiled. She smiled back and said "Hello, how are you?" Instead of saying 'I'm good' or "I'm okay", I said "I'm gay". FML
I agree, your life sucks (53149) - you deserved it (21666)
On 05/16/2009 at 5:13am - misc - by UncleRory (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I paid $60 for a haircut from a professional stylist, only to walk out looking like Spock from Star Trek. The worst part was the stylist asked me, "Hey, are you going to see that new Star Trek movie?" and tried to talk me into watching it. Now, wherever I go, people are giving me the 'live long and prosper' sign. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46137) - you deserved it (6823)
On 05/05/2009 at 2:21am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I woke to find my boyfriend of 2 years gone. I saw my little sister's talking bear at the bottom of my bed, it said "squeeze me" so I squeezed it and it said "it's over." It was my boyfriends voice. I was dumped by a talking bear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (69872) - you deserved it (3191)
On 04/26/2009 at 8:35am - love - by shawty_x (woman) - United Kingdom (Hartlepool)
Today, my mother called me downstairs to give me what I assumed was going to be "The Talk" (About four years too late). So she sits me down, holds my hands, and with the gentlest, most motherly expression on her face tells me, "Honey, if you ever come home pregnant, I'll kill you and the baby." FML
I agree, your life sucks (107089) - you deserved it (10680)
On 04/19/2009 at 10:09pm - health - by Litterbox (woman) - United States (Texas)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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