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YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, after a surprise candlelit dinner and a two bottles of wine for my birthday, my boyfriend and I decided to take a sexy shower together. It ended with us both drunk, naked, and crying, wedged into a small tub together, talking about our dead pets. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23338) - you deserved it (6330)
On 05/30/2012 at 1:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was browsing the web on my boyfriend's laptop, when I idly clicked a bookmark. It turned out to be his private blog, where he most recently spoke in very creepy detail about his efforts to make me love him, remarking that, "Soon, I'll plant my seed in her breeding hips." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28061) - you deserved it (3450)
On 05/22/2012 at 4:49pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, while showering with my boyfriend, he asked if something was weird about his penis. Naturally, I looked closer. As soon as I did, he sprayed my face with urine. This is only the beginning; we just moved in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37284) - you deserved it (6752)
On 05/07/2012 at 5:42am - intimacy - by quirrus (woman) - United States
Today, my boyfriend figured out that he can bounce small things off of my boobs, and has been doing it every time I look away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15915) - you deserved it (2685)
On 04/28/2012 at 7:36pm - intimacy - by Elise - United States
Today, I woke up to a really cold feeling down below. I opened my eyes and saw my girlfriend grinning like a maniac and holding my crotch-sausage between two scissor blades. I screamed in terror like a little bitch, and she says I'm never gonna live this down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33503) - you deserved it (2675)
On 04/21/2012 at 1:38pm - intimacy - by Hakimstah (man) - Lebanon
Today, some Juggalos mocked me for the way I was dressed. Juggalos giving sartorial advice, really? FML
I agree, your life sucks (11927) - you deserved it (2642)
On 04/18/2012 at 7:08pm - misc - by amazed (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was driving back home with my family. I had to sit quietly for half an hour, all while pretending I didn't notice my sister playing with herself under the coat on her lap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34239) - you deserved it (2507)
On 01/23/2012 at 5:36pm - intimacy - by jjs51 (man) - United States
Today, I saw my neighbor's Christmas tree they had put up on their porch, with decorative presents under it. Being that my neighbors hate me, I figured I would take a present to piss them off. While walking back home with the present, I opened it. Inside it read "I knew you would, douche bag." FML
I agree, your life sucks (5889) - you deserved it (52573)
On 12/08/2011 at 10:35pm - misc - by lebato97 - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I told my boyfriend I was ovulating. He said he didn't want to have sex because he was afraid of getting eggs on his penis. He then compared it to having sex with a fish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24166) - you deserved it (3277)
On 12/07/2011 at 9:31pm - intimacy - by journey_Jeanne - United States (California)
Today, I was at my job as a bartender where I had to listen to a 40-something man with no legs drunkenly explain just how much he loves nipples. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20490) - you deserved it (2443)
On 12/03/2011 at 8:39pm - intimacy - by sugarbeet - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I think my dad has finally lost his shit and is having a mid-life crisis. He showed up at my school and had me brought to the front desk. He told me to get in the car because we were going to have some "father-daughter bonding". This meant us watching Silent Hill with his work buddies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16530) - you deserved it (1468)
On 10/28/2011 at 7:50am - misc - by -__- - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I was on a train when we hit and killed a person. We were stalled for 4 hours. The guy sitting next to me asked what I did for a living, so I told him that I'm a vet tech. Then he showed me his infected elbow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20988) - you deserved it (2471)
On 08/30/2011 at 10:51am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
I agree, your life sucks (26807) - you deserved it (3816)
On 08/12/2011 at 2:17am - misc - by TuteSweet - United States (Connecticut)
Today, since I'm too ashamed to go buy a proper sex toy, I used an old Star Wars toy sword instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9410) - you deserved it (36937)
On 08/11/2011 at 1:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)
Today, I found out my boyfriend has checked every girl he has ever slept with for 'vagina teeth'. I'm apparently no exception. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29459) - you deserved it (3986)
On 07/20/2011 at 12:40am - intimacy - by knolan - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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