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YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, I found out why my cat hasn't been coming home for regular meals. Apparently, my elderly next door neighbour has forgotten that her cat is dead and puts food out for it every morning. My cat is exploiting her by impersonating her dead cat to get better food. My cat is an asshole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20768) - you deserved it (3461)
On 10/10/2012 at 4:43am - animals - by assholecat (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I wanted to surprise my long distance girlfriend by flying to her unannounced. When I arrived at her house, her family tells me that she herself boarded an unannounced flight to where I lived hours ago. Surprise. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26939) - you deserved it (3095)
On 10/06/2012 at 6:04am - love - by Jex (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I was getting a bikini wax to prove to my husband that I could be sexy despite being five months pregnant. As the woman was applying the wax, she said, "You know, if I wanted to, I'm in the perfect spot to reach in and steal that baby." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21344) - you deserved it (2931)
On 10/02/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I saw a shady looking person on the street. As I walked past him, he said, "Hey, come here." Thinking he needed something, I went over. He handed me several pictures of my wife, in public and at home. I've never seen this man before in my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22542) - you deserved it (1024)
On 09/26/2012 at 12:07am - misc - by ahappypenguin -
Today, my daughter and her boyfriend excitedly told me that after months of trying they are finally pregnant and that I'm going to be a grandmother. This would be great news if they weren't 15. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35539) - you deserved it (4587)
On 09/18/2012 at 4:20pm - health - by GMD (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)
Today, I collected my students' notes in class to check them. One girl, who is always drawing weird anime crap in her sketchbook, turned in just one piece of paper that read, "FUCK YOUR CLASS." FML
I agree, your life sucks (12782) - you deserved it (12779)
On 09/17/2012 at 8:21pm - work - by Mrs. Teacher (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19081) - you deserved it (5206)
On 09/09/2012 at 8:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, I realized how much it sucks to have the same name as my dad when I overheard my mom moan his name in bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32264) - you deserved it (1685)
On 09/08/2012 at 7:38am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was speaking to my mother on the phone, when she mentioned that my dad had surprised her last week with a pearl necklace. Before I could quite grasp what was going on, I'd popped a boner and visualised the scene. What the hell is wrong with me? FML
I agree, your life sucks (7979) - you deserved it (27373)
On 07/27/2012 at 8:30pm - intimacy - by clayton (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I spoke to my hormonal pregnant wife about baby names. I told her I liked the name "Tabitha", and she went into a full rage about how all letters have textures, colours and emotions and how T is an evil letter. Apparently it's orange, plastic, and a needle trying to stab her eyes out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20769) - you deserved it (2966)
On 07/09/2012 at 3:31am - kids - by LNamesOnly (man) - Australia
Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed making out. He then tried to unhook my bra. After a full minute of trying unsuccessfully, he shouted "Fuck you, bra!" before hiding his face in the pillows. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24897) - you deserved it (3451)
Today, I exchanged pictures with a guy I met online, whose devotion to his family really impressed me. In his picture, he was wearing clown makeup, holding a huge knife to his throat with one hand, and an ICP album in the other. All this with a psychopathic grin on his face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13429) - you deserved it (5284)
On 07/01/2012 at 6:57pm - misc - by probablydeadbymidnight (woman) - United States
Today, my identical twin sister's boyfriend walked over to me, and whispered in my ear, "I know what you look like naked." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34185) - you deserved it (2878)
On 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm - misc - by creeped out - United States (New York)
Today, after having sex with my girlfriend, I jokingly held the condom above my mouth. Somehow, the condom busted, and everything went over my face. Worse still, we're now wondering just how safe this condom really was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10560) - you deserved it (31489)
On 06/06/2012 at 12:02pm - intimacy - by Rob (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, while sitting in my Forensic Psychology class, my professor listed all of the main traits that indicate someone may very well be a sociopath. Every single trait described my fiancé perfectly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20426) - you deserved it (3784)
On 05/31/2012 at 2:50am - love - by Getmeout (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Monday 17 June 2013
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