Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

lildevilpiggy

Search for a member

lildevilpiggy
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 21 February 1996 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 284
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

lildevilpiggy's last visitors

Arybananaswifty86Wulf0123hunter_56185th_19_kiloKidkaplanCarucisamcro3roccolockwoodAng3lbee

lildevilpiggy's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of lildevilpiggy's badges

lildevilpiggy's favorite FMLs

Today, I gave my husband an early Christmas present: Santa-themed lingerie. He got angry and called me selfish, for "using" him as an excuse to get myself nice stuff. FML

#20418722
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33471) - you deserved it (11260)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:06pm - intimacy - by selfishsexysanta (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me his Christmas gift to me was custom made. I told my parents in excitement, thinking it could possibly be a ring. Half an hour later he told me what it was; a molded dildo of his penis. It's going to be an awkward conversation with my parents when they ask what I got. FML

#20408274
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36074) - you deserved it (13349)

On 12/20/2012 at 12:30am - intimacy - by djl (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was sitting cross-legged, idly jerkin' the gherkin. I guess I got slightly carried away, because I zoned out, forgot where I was aiming, and came all over the side of my face, up my nose and into my eye. FML

Today, my husband let me know he felt I was ignoring him by jabbing me in the right ear with his erect penis while I was Skyping with my mum overseas. FML

#20110803
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25620) - you deserved it (4018)

On 10/10/2012 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I found out why my cat hasn't been coming home for regular meals. Apparently, my elderly next door neighbour has forgotten that her cat is dead and puts food out for it every morning. My cat is exploiting her by impersonating her dead cat to get better food. My cat is an asshole. FML

#20110144
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25632) - you deserved it (4522)

On 10/10/2012 at 4:43am - animals - by assholecat (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I wanted to surprise my long distance girlfriend by flying to her unannounced. When I arrived at her house, her family tells me that she herself boarded an unannounced flight to where I lived hours ago. Surprise. FML

#20103950
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27638) - you deserved it (3143)

On 10/06/2012 at 6:04am - love - by Jex (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was getting a bikini wax to prove to my husband that I could be sexy despite being five months pregnant. As the woman was applying the wax, she said, "You know, if I wanted to, I'm in the perfect spot to reach in and steal that baby." FML

#20097870
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23595) - you deserved it (3106)

On 10/02/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I saw a shady looking person on the street. As I walked past him, he said, "Hey, come here." Thinking he needed something, I went over. He handed me several pictures of my wife, in public and at home. I've never seen this man before in my life. FML

#20089025
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24728) - you deserved it (1319)

On 09/26/2012 at 12:07am - misc - by ahappypenguin -

Today, my daughter and her boyfriend excitedly told me that after months of trying they are finally pregnant and that I'm going to be a grandmother. This would be great news if they weren't 15. FML

#20077962
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42403) - you deserved it (6140)

On 09/18/2012 at 4:20pm - health - by GMD (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I collected my students' notes in class to check them. One girl, who is always drawing weird anime crap in her sketchbook, turned in just one piece of paper that read, "FUCK YOUR CLASS." FML

#20076781
318 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13340) - you deserved it (13218)

On 09/17/2012 at 8:21pm - work - by Mrs. Teacher (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML

#20064384
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23462) - you deserved it (5823)

On 09/09/2012 at 8:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I realized how much it sucks to have the same name as my dad when I overheard my mom moan his name in bed. FML

#20062873
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33316) - you deserved it (1718)

On 09/08/2012 at 7:38am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was speaking to my mother on the phone, when she mentioned that my dad had surprised her last week with a pearl necklace. Before I could quite grasp what was going on, I'd popped a boner and visualised the scene. What the hell is wrong with me? FML

#19987975
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9886) - you deserved it (36442)

On 07/27/2012 at 8:30pm - intimacy - by clayton (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I spoke to my hormonal pregnant wife about baby names. I told her I liked the name "Tabitha", and she went into a full rage about how all letters have textures, colours and emotions and how T is an evil letter. Apparently it's orange, plastic, and a needle trying to stab her eyes out. FML

#19913255
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21385) - you deserved it (3001)

On 07/09/2012 at 3:31am - kids - by LNamesOnly (man) - Australia



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: