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licorice16

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licorice16

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 16 February 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 268
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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licorice16's favorite FMLs

Today, while putting a drip in the back of an elderly patient's hand, he commented that he didn't realise doctors had pierced nipples, but not to worry because he's only in the hospital "for the b*tches". FML

#14397838
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23081) - you deserved it (5147)

On 12/30/2010 at 4:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I was tossing my car keys into the air and catching them. I threw them up really high, only to have them land in the branches of the palm tree outside my door, at the very top. FML

#13310040
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6439) - you deserved it (42489)

On 10/03/2010 at 10:10pm - misc - by 2234 - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband has been out of town for a week. The only text I've got from him was, "I didn't take a poop today." FML

#12748634
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27587) - you deserved it (3366)

On 08/26/2010 at 12:08am - love - by TextsAlot (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my husband and I took a walk on the wharf. We walked by a Wax Museum and in front of the museum there was a bench with a very realistic wax man sitting on it. I got very close to his face and yelled over to my husband how realistic the wax man looked. Just then, he coughed. FML

#8220919
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6661) - you deserved it (29313)

On 02/13/2010 at 8:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was shopping at Walmart when I ran into this stalker chick. She introduced me to her baby. He's named after me. FML

#8191025
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30256) - you deserved it (2466)

On 02/13/2010 at 12:48am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I felt like too much of a loser to go to a Christmas party, since I'd be the only one going without a date. I had to invent imaginary friends who were "coming into town for the holidays" to feel like less of a loser. FML

#6788841
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21323) - you deserved it (8730)

On 12/17/2009 at 2:25am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I realized that I'm a sleepwalker and for the past week, that dream where I was giving my roommate a blowjob was real. He just pretended it never happened. FML

#6494612
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30188) - you deserved it (4508)

On 11/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by chacha - United States

Today, I found out that I was adopted, now my gay brother thinks it's acceptable to tell me that he's always wanted to have sex with me. FML

#4488799
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (97735) - you deserved it (4795)

On 08/12/2009 at 11:13pm - intimacy - by JPF (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was at the Wild Animal Park. There were bees everywhere. One brave bee, thinking he was Mr. Macho, flew right down my tank top in between my boobs. I freaked the hell out and ended up screaming and pulling down my shirt to get the bee out. I flashed about 10 kids and their families. FML

#4097129
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47331) - you deserved it (9094)

On 07/28/2009 at 1:00am - kids - by bsaucedo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, the dentist sneezed in my mouth. FML

#3386815
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (97754) - you deserved it (5541)

On 07/01/2009 at 2:33am - misc - by kewlio45 - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I spent 3 hours washing my hands to get the pony out of the soap bar. I'm 16. FML

#3297197
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11207) - you deserved it (50149)

On 06/28/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by Soapy (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML

#1604682
311 comments

I agree, your life sucks (268255) - you deserved it (17549)

On 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Right as I was really getting into it, he pauses, frowns, and says, "I think I see the pee hole." FML

#1046980
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (89346) - you deserved it (7247)

On 04/17/2009 at 1:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792
925 comments

I agree, your life sucks (348591) - you deserved it (38612)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)



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