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licorice16

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licorice16

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Thursday 16 February 1995 (19 years)
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  • Number of visits : 274
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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licorice16's favorite FMLs

Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML

#20108644
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33250) - you deserved it (3454)

On 10/09/2012 at 1:53am - kids - by anonymous - United States

Today, I discovered that my new boyfriend is the type of guy who, when there is a conflict, will just scream "I LOVE YOU" over and over hoping that it will solve itself instead of actually trying to work the problem out. FML

#16055177
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36411) - you deserved it (7212)

On 05/05/2011 at 10:40am - love - by sad (woman) - United Kingdom (Somerset)

Today, I awoke to make-up all over my face and nail polish on my hands and feet because my daughter wanted "daddy to look pretty." I have a job interview in an hour and none of it is coming off. FML

#15949821
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36894) - you deserved it (4829)

On 04/27/2011 at 3:16pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I got married. My sister and father could not attend because they already had plans. My sister went to the mall with her friends, and my dad went to a pool party. FML

#15949652
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49469) - you deserved it (4147)

On 04/27/2011 at 3:03pm - misc - by disfunctionalfamily (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my husband got out of the shower, came downstairs naked screaming ''EMBRACE THE HARDNESS!!'' Little did he know, my step mother was sitting right there at the kitchen table. FML

#15934305
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44715) - you deserved it (5610)

On 04/26/2011 at 1:28pm - intimacy - by Scarlett - United States (Washington)

Today, my house was robbed while I sat helplessly on the toilet with violent diarrhoea. I could hear them laughing hysterically. FML

#15922476
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49192) - you deserved it (5784)

On 04/25/2011 at 5:39pm - misc - by Mike -

Today, I was mugged. The guy mugging me was eating a banana. FML

#15917217
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32616) - you deserved it (6836)

On 04/25/2011 at 8:11am - misc - by wtfisthisworldcomingto -

Today, I'm a student vet. Part of my holiday work is to gain experience working at a dairy. A cow came on to the platform for me to inject her udder. As I was bent over, she decided to take a dump. Onto my left eyeball. FML

#15855335
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40553) - you deserved it (5587)

On 04/20/2011 at 3:27am - animals - by Anonymous - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, my cat took a shit in my toaster. FML

#15852262
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49803) - you deserved it (8077)

On 04/19/2011 at 10:21pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I used my hair straightener to attempt to straighten my eyelashes and burned my eyelid. I don't know what's sadder, that fact I thought it would be fun, or that I was stupid enough to think I wouldn't hurt myself. FML

#15753750
384 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10676) - you deserved it (124721)

On 04/12/2011 at 10:01am - health - by sadcase - Australia

Today, I found that the love of my life is 3.5 inches, fully erect. My cell phone is bigger than that. FML

#15749213
780 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66771) - you deserved it (14047)

On 04/12/2011 at 12:00am - intimacy - by Artic (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I subbed for a first grade class. They were releasing butterflies. Butterflies scare me shitless. A bunch of 7 year-olds watched as I screamed hysterically when one landed on me. FML

#15661118
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19821) - you deserved it (32862)

On 04/06/2011 at 2:22am - animals - by mottephobe - United States (Utah)

Today, I got back from vacation and walked in on my boyfriend and my brother in my bed. FML

#15617038
351 comments

I agree, your life sucks (107766) - you deserved it (7602)

On 04/03/2011 at 4:06am - intimacy - by Now Single - Reserved

Today, I heard the four most dreaded words known to man during my first time: "Is it in yet?" It was. FML

#15546300
420 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69941) - you deserved it (9644)

On 03/29/2011 at 1:26pm - intimacy - by Johntheladdo (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my dentist pulled a pubic hair out of my braces. FML

#14672798
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17590) - you deserved it (49394)

On 01/22/2011 at 11:04am - intimacy - by mortified (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol)



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