About lexithepirate : I have snakebites. And I'm taken by a nerd :p He's the best :'3
Music: Asking Alexandria, Mayday Parade, Black Veil Brides, Pierce The Veil, A Day To Remember, Breaking Benjamin, La Dispute, Of Mice & Men, Falling In Reverse.
Message me if you would like to. My Skype is lexithepirate, add me c:
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Today, I was going through my old MSN conversations. I then realized that when I first got MSN, I didn't know that messages you sent after people went offline would be delivered to them when they signed in. I used to type 'I love you' to my crush after every time he went offline. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27165) - you deserved it (66446)
On 03/28/2009 at 6:13pm - love - by WeezysBaby (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was jogging through my neighborhood and then I notice this cute guy running beside me, we stoped and flirted for a while and my mom drove past. She then rolled down the window and said "Honey, you owe me for the dry cleaning on your period pants." FML
I agree, your life sucks (80844) - you deserved it (3604)
On 03/28/2009 at 12:50pm - misc - by Lolrus - Qatar (Ad Dawhah)
Today, I was texting two people at once. Trying to respond to my friend's text, I accidentally clicked on this guy's name instead, who I've never met. He just told me about his grandma's funeral he went to that was an open casket. I responded with, "Haha wow you slut, I'm sure you were aroused." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20225) - you deserved it (62098)
On 03/25/2009 at 10:48pm - misc - by ohhotdamn (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Today, I found out that I'm failing this semester because I've missed too many classes. I've missed the classes because I've been having panic attacks, a symptom of my anxiety disorder. I got the anxiety disorder because I was so afraid of failing school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (84938) - you deserved it (20186)
On 03/25/2009 at 12:12am - work - by disfordiploma (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was over at my boyfriend's house. One thing led to another, and we were just getting to the good parts when his mom walks in. After a long, awkward pause, she says "I like your socks" and walks out. She is a teacher at my highschool. I have to see her everyday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40231) - you deserved it (15332)
On 03/21/2009 at 3:04pm - misc - by mjayne17 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML
I agree, your life sucks (314369) - you deserved it (41290)
On 03/20/2009 at 12:15am - kids - by ScoobieDoo (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I fell asleep in class during a boring economics lecture. I heard a whisper say "Rise and shine sleeping beauty." I thought it was my boyfriend, so i responded "Baby, what time is it? When is this F*ing class going to be over!?" it wasnt my boyfriend talking, it was my teacher. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11120) - you deserved it (61661)
On 03/18/2009 at 11:48am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my family and I were at a restaurant. We're Swedish and love talking about people in our language because no one ever understands here. I decided to comment about how ugly the girl at the next table was. She turned around and goes "Dra åt helvete." That's Swedish for "Go to hell." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17641) - you deserved it (240759)
On 03/14/2009 at 9:30pm - misc - by SwedishBozo (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my mother got a call from our old high school saying that they had fifteen freshmen boys in his office with a nude photo of me on their phones. I had sent that photo only to my boyfriend. Apparently he loves to share me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24098) - you deserved it (75145)
On 03/01/2009 at 1:58am - intimacy - by fmlisthebomb (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, after soccer practice, I was walking to the car with my dad. My team mates waved and said "Bye POTHEAD!" They call me that because they think my head is shaped like a pot. Of course, my dad didn't believe me. I'm grounded now because I have an abnormally-shaped head. I've never smoked pot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66468) - you deserved it (3951)
On 02/27/2009 at 4:47pm - misc - by ap84 - United States (California)
Today, I went to go get a haircut and I asked how much it was for a haircut, shampoo, and a blow job. I meant to say blow dry. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14123) - you deserved it (43060)
On 02/26/2009 at 6:21pm - misc - by Stixchop (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was pissing in a urinal and I had the urge to sneeze. Unable to hold it, I sneezed and hit my head on a metal beam supporting the urinal. In complete disarray, I had to step back from the urinal while pissing and managed to spray the floor, the wall, and the person next to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51023) - you deserved it (5971)
On 02/24/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by iliketurtles (man) - United States (California)
Today, I got an email from my professor with my grade for a paper. It said, "Solid writing, but you should have proofread your final draft more carefully." In a moment of annoyance, I typed in the reply box, "God should have proofread your FACE more carefully." My elbow hit the send button. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11694) - you deserved it (48575)
On 02/21/2009 at 4:43pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Texas)
Today, at Church, the little boy sitting behind me asked his mother if I had the chicken pox, because there were red dots all over my face. I've had bad acne since I was twelve. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37930) - you deserved it (2690)
On 02/18/2009 at 5:09pm - kids - by Spotted (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)
Today, I was in a toilet cubicle, when I overheard two of my friends at the sink talking about how ugly and skinny I was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15517) - you deserved it (1212)
On 01/17/2009 at 9:55pm - misc - by Youknowwho - Australia (Victoria)
Monday 17 June 2013
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