About Lexithepirate
I'm a loser and my whole life is an embarrassment
Lexithepirate - Followers
Lexithepirate - Followed
Lexithepirate's FML badges
  • Beginner

    You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
  • Checking you out

    You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
  • Mobility

    You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
  • Socialite

    You used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
  • Who’s the fairest of them all?

    This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
  • Judgmental

    You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
  • 50 favorites

    Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
  • Consolation prize

    Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
  • One ring to rule them all

    You submitted an FML, that was subsequently published, and statistically this makes you an exceptional person.
  • It's in the can!

    Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
  • Profile completed

    You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
  • Tell us what happened next

    You've commented on an FML that you sent in
  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    4%
  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
    3%
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
    6%
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    1%
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    1%
  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
    77%
  • YDI Master

    You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
    21%
  • 50 quality comments

    Clicking to reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried afterwards is even worthier.
    8%
  • A new thumb

    You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
    47%
  • 100 kick-ass comments

    100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
    10%
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
    32%
The list of badges to find
Lexithepirate's favorite FMLs

Today, I was called into my 17-year-old son's high school. Why? Because it was Wednesday, also known as "Hump Day" and his friends managed to convince him that you're supposed to go around and hump people. FML

By Judy / Wednesday 19 September 2012 23:33 / United States - Altoona

Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML

By identitychangeplease / Wednesday 19 September 2012 20:41 / Sweden - Nyn?shamn

Today, at school, a guy walked up to me and said I look a little too young to be at high school. I told him that I'm sixteen years old. He stared at my chest for several long seconds, muttered "What the fuck?" and walked off. FML

By wtf yourself, cunt - / Monday 17 September 2012 23:14 / Australia - Sydney

Today, I was on a train. An elderly woman and her daughter got on, looking for a seat. The daughter suggested the one next to mine. The elderly woman looked at me and said something in Russian. I speak some Russian. She said she didn't want to "sit by the hooker." FML

By dearbailee - / Tuesday 18 September 2012 14:04 / United States

Today, I collected my students' notes in class to check them. One girl, who is always drawing weird anime crap in her sketchbook, turned in just one piece of paper that read, "FUCK YOUR CLASS." FML

By Mrs. Teacher - / Tuesday 18 September 2012 00:21 / United States - Suwanee