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lexithepirate

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lexithepirate

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lexithepirate
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 15 August 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 903
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About lexithepirate : I'm a loser and my whole life is an embarrassment

lexithepirate's page activity

Visits<b>connorgrant98</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 9:54pm<b>Qele</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 2:39pm<b>powerkeep</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 12:51pm<b>Nordrag</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 12:46pm<b>katachristic</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 12:32pm<b>eppsepepsi</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 12:02am<b>cslaughterj</b> - the 03/19/2013 at 1:07am<b>starflyer59</b> - the 01/26/2013 at 6:50pm<b>ICastillo</b> - the 01/10/2013 at 3:47pm<b>Covenant74</b> - the 01/06/2013 at 2:47pm<b>MaxG123</b> - the 01/01/2013 at 8:08am<b>heliraptor</b> - the 12/31/2012 at 5:23am<b>imgonnawreckit</b> - the 12/30/2012 at 1:46am<b>Kidkaplan</b> - the 12/29/2012 at 8:48pm<b>GabrielleFrance</b> - the 12/29/2012 at 12:40pm<b>pistolpete85</b> - the 12/29/2012 at 11:20am<b>hannnahmarie</b> - the 12/28/2012 at 7:36pm<b>Schizomaniac</b> - the 12/28/2012 at 7:39am

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lexithepirate's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend kept trying to convince me to do anal with him. After denying him several times he told me "Why it feels good, trust me." I asked him how would he know. There was a long awkward silence when he then replied with "I'm not gay I swear." FML

#7563904
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30698) - you deserved it (4376)

On 01/25/2010 at 3:47am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend told me he hasn't showered since our first date. We've been dating for three weeks. FML

#7541798
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29691) - you deserved it (4309)

On 01/24/2010 at 10:27am - misc - by unknown - Sent from mobile version

Today, I came home from a year long backpacking trip in Europe. During my absence my parents divorced, dad took the house and most of the money, sister is seven months pregnant, brother was arrested for statutory rape, and my mom pawned all my stuff to buy booze to "cope." Oh, and my fish died. FML

#6989911
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84068) - you deserved it (4755)

On 12/28/2009 at 7:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was feeling proud of myself because I finally quit World Of Warcraft. I later found out about the gift my dad's family gave me. It was a 12-month subscription to World Of Warcraft. FML

#6960254
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27434) - you deserved it (7921)

On 12/26/2009 at 6:46pm - misc - by thatguy (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, in an effort to repair our fake Christmas tree, my girlfriend succeeded in gluing it to the floor. I can't get it loose. FML

#6887897
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23023) - you deserved it (3660)

On 12/22/2009 at 5:53pm - misc - by blumaster04 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend asked me why I have "crotch acne". When I attempted to explain that I have razor bumps from shaving, he got mad and said I was lying and insecure about my obvious facial and bodily acne problem. FML

#6772428
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29648) - you deserved it (2963)

On 12/16/2009 at 12:15am - health - by RazorBumps (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I'm travelling to England for an important meeting. I'm Norwegian, and my name is Bård. I have to introduce myself as bored the whole day, because that's how my name is pronounced. FML

#6662033
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31884) - you deserved it (2691)

On 12/08/2009 at 7:10am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I was opening up to my close friend about my low self esteem. To make me feel better, he told me that he gets a boner whenever he walks behind me. FML

#6474999
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19422) - you deserved it (6703)

On 11/27/2009 at 4:20am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that acne is a major side effect of a medication I'm taking. The medication is to help me with my anxiety. The acne is creating more anxiety. And the more anxious I get, the more meds I need. And the more my face breaks out. FML

#5861611
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36003) - you deserved it (4606)

On 10/17/2009 at 2:26am - health - by JoJo - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was preparing to perform with my marching band at a competition. Right before we went on, a tuba player friend of mine offered to help me stretch. He wound up snapping my bra. I'm a drum major, and had to conduct the entire show while my boobs were falling out. FML

#5510912
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36024) - you deserved it (5079)

On 09/27/2009 at 6:03pm - misc - by commando - United States (New York)

Today, I was preparing to perform with my marching band at a competition. Right before we went on, a tuba player friend of mine offered to help me stretch. He wound up snapping my bra. I'm a drum major, and had to conduct the entire show while my boobs were falling out. FML

#5510912
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36024) - you deserved it (5079)

On 09/27/2009 at 6:03pm - misc - by commando - United States (New York)

Today, I was giving a speech to my 300 some-odd person class. All throughout it, people had been giggling and cackling while I was speaking. I soon realized that my pants had been unzipped. I accidentally fell asleep with all my underwear in the washer last night and had gone commando that day. FML

#5288482
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35746) - you deserved it (19558)

On 09/16/2009 at 6:21am - misc - by BluesMan1990 (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my little sister thought it'd be cool to pierce my nose while I was asleep. FML

#4678822
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47368) - you deserved it (3585)

On 08/20/2009 at 10:17am - misc - by NoseInPain (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my 15-year-old daughter asked for a ride to her boyfriend's house. It's the same house I've been driving her to for sleepovers with her friend "Kate" for two years. FML

#4473849
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35007) - you deserved it (48483)

On 08/12/2009 at 12:14pm - kids - by anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay and that my friend was my lover. After 15 agonizing minutes of this, we get to my practice only to be greeted by my shirtless friend wearing a pink bandana saying "Man, you hit me hard last night." FML

#4421825
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75928) - you deserved it (6567)

On 08/10/2009 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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