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lexithepirate

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lexithepirate

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lexithepirate
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 15 August 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 777
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About lexithepirate : I'm a loser and my whole life is an embarrassment

lexithepirate's page activity

Visits<b>eppsepepsi</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 12:02am<b>cslaughterj</b> - the 03/19/2013 at 1:07am<b>starflyer59</b> - the 01/26/2013 at 6:50pm<b>ICastillo</b> - the 01/10/2013 at 3:47pm<b>Covenant74</b> - the 01/06/2013 at 2:47pm<b>MaxG123</b> - the 01/01/2013 at 8:08am<b>heliraptor</b> - the 12/31/2012 at 5:23am<b>imgonnawreckit</b> - the 12/30/2012 at 1:46am<b>Kidkaplan</b> - the 12/29/2012 at 8:48pm<b>GabrielleFrance</b> - the 12/29/2012 at 12:40pm<b>pistolpete85</b> - the 12/29/2012 at 11:20am<b>hannnahmarie</b> - the 12/28/2012 at 7:36pm<b>Schizomaniac</b> - the 12/28/2012 at 7:39am<b>pmac1345</b> - the 12/27/2012 at 5:22pm<b>flupsht</b> - the 12/25/2012 at 9:23pm<b>B5B0N35</b> - the 12/24/2012 at 12:23pm<b>krystle817</b> - the 12/24/2012 at 4:38am<b>olpally</b> - the 12/24/2012 at 2:02am

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lexithepirate's favorite FMLs

Today, I pretended like I was dead to my 4 year old brother. He cried my name for a couple of seconds, then took my iPhone out of my hands and ran away laughing. FML

#12760646
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13108) - you deserved it (38709)

On 08/26/2010 at 8:19pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend of one year told me not to walk beside him because people might "think we're together". FML

#12365363
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36916) - you deserved it (5188)

On 08/07/2010 at 2:06am - love - by WastedTime (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my 23-year old boyfriend is not talking to me because I bought the regular kind of macaroni and cheese instead of the cartoon kind. FML

#11923673
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32798) - you deserved it (16831)

On 07/16/2010 at 3:45pm - misc - by liz - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend bought a pogo stick. Now he rides it more than he rides me. FML

#11817765
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31666) - you deserved it (9666)

On 07/11/2010 at 9:35pm - intimacy - by RachelVanLannen9 (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend bought a pogo stick. Now he rides it more than he rides me. FML

#11817765
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31666) - you deserved it (9666)

On 07/11/2010 at 9:35pm - intimacy - by RachelVanLannen9 (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went to get my first tattoo. When I told the man that I wanted Tinkerbell on my lower back area. He snorted and told me that I was way too old to have Tinkerbell on me, and that Disney characters are only cute on people 35 and younger. I'm 23. FML

#9011499
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24145) - you deserved it (11737)

On 03/11/2010 at 10:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my best friend decided she wanted to tell my boyfriend about the time I pissed myself laughing at her house. When she was telling the story I ended up laughing so hard, that I pissed myself again. FML

#8811834
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10389) - you deserved it (21628)

On 03/03/2010 at 10:19pm - misc - by Titi14 - United States (New York)

Today, I saw my crush standing at the bus stop. I did the "I'm talking to someone on the phone thing," trying to be cool. Halfway through the conversation my phone actually rang, I quickly answered but it was my mom on loudspeaker yelling, "Did you bring your tampons?" FML

#8472938
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9714) - you deserved it (34976)

On 02/20/2010 at 8:58am - misc - by Rach (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the last two hours he's been continuously asking if I "want to be touched by Jesus" or will I "let Jesus in to spread his warmth." FML

#8119072
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19406) - you deserved it (4582)

On 02/11/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by syl - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my youngest son had to have stitches in his chin. He did great, I passed out. FML

#7844166
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19201) - you deserved it (6621)

On 02/03/2010 at 11:02am - health - by Sherlock - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend kept trying to convince me to do anal with him. After denying him several times he told me "Why it feels good, trust me." I asked him how would he know. There was a long awkward silence when he then replied with "I'm not gay I swear." FML

#7563904
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30626) - you deserved it (4362)

On 01/25/2010 at 3:47am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend told me he hasn't showered since our first date. We've been dating for three weeks. FML

#7541798
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29628) - you deserved it (4309)

On 01/24/2010 at 10:27am - misc - by unknown - Sent from mobile version

Today, I came home from a year long backpacking trip in Europe. During my absence my parents divorced, dad took the house and most of the money, sister is seven months pregnant, brother was arrested for statutory rape, and my mom pawned all my stuff to buy booze to "cope." Oh, and my fish died. FML

#6989911
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83816) - you deserved it (4751)

On 12/28/2009 at 7:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was feeling proud of myself because I finally quit World Of Warcraft. I later found out about the gift my dad's family gave me. It was a 12-month subscription to World Of Warcraft. FML

#6960254
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26554) - you deserved it (7797)

On 12/26/2009 at 6:46pm - misc - by thatguy (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, in an effort to repair our fake Christmas tree, my girlfriend succeeded in gluing it to the floor. I can't get it loose. FML

#6887897
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22064) - you deserved it (3570)

On 12/22/2009 at 5:53pm - misc - by blumaster04 (man) - United States (Florida)



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