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lexithepirate

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lexithepirate
  • Town/Country : Pills Creek, US
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 14 August 1996 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 523
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About lexithepirate : I have snakebites. And I'm taken by a nerd :p He's the best :'3
Music: Asking Alexandria, Mayday Parade, Black Veil Brides, Pierce The Veil, A Day To Remember, Breaking Benjamin, La Dispute, Of Mice & Men, Falling In Reverse.
Message me if you would like to. My Skype is lexithepirate, add me c:

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lexithepirate's favorite FMLs

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34819) - you deserved it (30430)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, I was at Aéropostale with some friends when I noticed a woman glaring at me. When we got to the checkout, the woman still had her eyes on me, so I asked why she was staring. She snapped, "If you had kept your legs closed, you wouldn't be pregnant." I'm not pregnant. FML

#15284565
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36563) - you deserved it (4515)

On 03/12/2011 at 4:11pm - misc - by vlcardenx3 (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend walked in on me in the bathroom. That's how he found out that I wax my nipples. FML

#15063215
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23981) - you deserved it (26294)

On 02/21/2011 at 8:07am - intimacy - by weezer - United States

Today, I was leaving school to get tested for peptic ulcers, because my stomach has been hurting for a few months. To wish me luck, one of my friends gave me a friendly punch in the stomach. I threw up blood. FML

#14893456
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41714) - you deserved it (2607)

On 02/08/2011 at 7:48am - health - by soccerscout7 -

Today, one of my cats peed all over the back of my couch, so I put her outside for a while. When I let her in, she ran straight to the couch and peed on my laptop. This has been going on ever since I accidentally stepped on her tail, several months ago. FML

#14857654
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26413) - you deserved it (10473)

On 02/05/2011 at 8:58pm - animals - by UghCats (woman) - United States (Wyoming)

Today, my cat died while walking around the kitchen. He had a heart attack when the toaster popped out two slices of bread. FML

#14753781
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46224) - you deserved it (3809) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/29/2011 at 3:09am - animals - by Anonymous - France

Today, on the train, I was bitten by a homeless man. FML

#14377824
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37101) - you deserved it (3758)

On 12/29/2010 at 2:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, at a gynecologist's appointment, I was privileged to have 7 co-ed nursing students stare at my vagina for 25 minutes as part of their training. At one point the doctor apologized for having to "open me up more than usual", but said she wanted everyone to get a good view. FML

#14153563
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40037) - you deserved it (4574)

On 12/10/2010 at 12:09pm - intimacy - by RevolutionLove - United States

Today, I planned to drop a water balloon on my visiting prankster brother from my new apartment's balcony. As he crossed the street, I launched the balloon, and sent it right behind him. It hit an eight year old on a scooter. FML

#14126136
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5695) - you deserved it (23193)

On 12/07/2010 at 11:20pm - misc - by bullseyed (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went into labor with my first child, and as much as I pleaded, I had to wait for my husband to finish his raid in World of Warcraft before he'd take me to the hospital. FML

#14093813
360 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59073) - you deserved it (8362)

On 12/05/2010 at 8:38am - health - by newmother (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I blared my music while I got ready for a night out. Getting really into this one song, I grabbed onto the nearest thing as a makeshift microphone. It happened to be the hot end of my curling iron. FML

#13998989
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7852) - you deserved it (33700)

On 11/27/2010 at 12:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Scottish Borders)

Today, is my daughter's first birthday. Today also marks 1 year and 9 months since I last had sex with my wife. FML

#13961459
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34532) - you deserved it (4032)

On 11/24/2010 at 12:18pm - intimacy - by notgettingany (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my dad asked me for a word that rhymes with vagina. He was filling out an anniversary card for my mom. FML

#13614950
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24354) - you deserved it (2219)

On 10/27/2010 at 1:59pm - intimacy - by nothingdoes (woman) - United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he would do if I were to get pregnant. Expecting him to give me a cute and supportive answer, he replied, "We'd be finding you a nice flight of stairs to accidentally fall down." FML

#13031931
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33973) - you deserved it (11310)

On 09/13/2010 at 5:14am - love - by vikinggirl (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I pretended like I was dead to my 4 year old brother. He cried my name for a couple of seconds, then took my iPhone out of my hands and ran away laughing. FML

#12760646
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11122) - you deserved it (35583)

On 08/26/2010 at 8:19pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States



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