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lexithepirate

Offline (the 11/10/2014 at 2:15pm) | Search for a member

lexithepirate

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lexithepirate
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 15 August 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 846
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About lexithepirate : I'm a loser and my whole life is an embarrassment

lexithepirate's page activity

Visits<b>eppsepepsi</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 12:02am<b>cslaughterj</b> - the 03/19/2013 at 1:07am<b>starflyer59</b> - the 01/26/2013 at 6:50pm<b>ICastillo</b> - the 01/10/2013 at 3:47pm<b>Covenant74</b> - the 01/06/2013 at 2:47pm<b>MaxG123</b> - the 01/01/2013 at 8:08am<b>heliraptor</b> - the 12/31/2012 at 5:23am<b>imgonnawreckit</b> - the 12/30/2012 at 1:46am<b>Kidkaplan</b> - the 12/29/2012 at 8:48pm<b>GabrielleFrance</b> - the 12/29/2012 at 12:40pm<b>pistolpete85</b> - the 12/29/2012 at 11:20am<b>hannnahmarie</b> - the 12/28/2012 at 7:36pm<b>Schizomaniac</b> - the 12/28/2012 at 7:39am<b>pmac1345</b> - the 12/27/2012 at 5:22pm<b>flupsht</b> - the 12/25/2012 at 9:23pm<b>B5B0N35</b> - the 12/24/2012 at 12:23pm<b>krystle817</b> - the 12/24/2012 at 4:38am<b>olpally</b> - the 12/24/2012 at 2:02am

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lexithepirate's favorite FMLs

Today, I was chatting to a friend on Facebook about girls, and why we're single. We somehow ended up admitting to one another that we'd never get girlfriends, finding out that we both like hentai porn, and trading info on Japanese sex toys. FML

#20196663
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8758) - you deserved it (27889)

On 12/08/2012 at 5:52pm - love - by XxtentaculonxX - United Kingdom (Argyll and Bute)

Today, I was at the breakfast table when my sister started eating a banana. Before I knew what was happening, I'd somehow popped a boner. I had to wait for her to leave before I could stand up. FML

#20195358
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30820) - you deserved it (22822)

On 12/07/2012 at 5:40pm - intimacy - by bill219 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was called into my 17-year-old son's high school. Why? Because it was Wednesday, also known as "Hump Day" and his friends managed to convince him that you're supposed to go around and hump people. FML

#20079735
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21739) - you deserved it (2534)

On 09/19/2012 at 7:33pm - kids - by Judy - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML

#20079475
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59502) - you deserved it (3060)

On 09/19/2012 at 4:41pm - intimacy - by identitychangeplease - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I was on a train. An elderly woman and her daughter got on, looking for a seat. The daughter suggested the one next to mine. The elderly woman looked at me and said something in Russian. I speak some Russian. She said she didn't want to "sit by the hooker." FML

#20077596
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20488) - you deserved it (3540)

On 09/18/2012 at 10:04am - misc - by dearbailee (woman) - United States

Today, I collected my students' notes in class to check them. One girl, who is always drawing weird anime crap in her sketchbook, turned in just one piece of paper that read, "FUCK YOUR CLASS." FML

#20076781
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17694) - you deserved it (19305)

On 09/17/2012 at 8:21pm - work - by Mrs. Teacher (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, at school, a guy walked up to me and said I look a little too young to be at high school. I told him that I'm sixteen years old. He stared at my chest for several long seconds, muttered "What the fuck?" and walked off. FML

#20076675
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25030) - you deserved it (2303)

On 09/17/2012 at 7:14pm - misc - by wtf yourself, cunt (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my 12 year-old dog died. My boyfriend's attempts to comfort me involved him muttering, "At least she knows how to play dead now." FML

#20071617
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23572) - you deserved it (1938)

On 09/14/2012 at 12:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after having a long talk with my mother about gays, she told me that she was totally open. I felt completely relieved, being gay myself. Seconds later, she said, "But not for you. I want you to find me a nice girl that can give me lots of grand kids." FML

#20070762
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26139) - you deserved it (4589)

On 09/13/2012 at 8:57pm - misc - by EvilMother (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, in the middle of what had to be the most amazing blowjob I've ever had in my life, my girlfriend had a mental breakdown and began weeping on top of my cock. FML

#20070700
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30699) - you deserved it (7448)

On 09/13/2012 at 8:06pm - intimacy - by blueballs (man) - United States (California)

Today, I stumbled across "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo" on TV and realized that these awful freaks are going to make more money than I ever will. FML

#20070573
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24900) - you deserved it (2572)

On 09/13/2012 at 6:29pm - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my car alarm went off at a funeral, three times. FML

#20070406
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19671) - you deserved it (3083)

On 09/13/2012 at 4:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I was called into my son's school because he had got into a fist-fight with another pupil and I had to take him home. He clammed up about the reason behind the fight, until I finally managed to coax it out of him: the other kid is in "Hufflepuff" and he's in "Ravenclaw." FML

#20070089
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23769) - you deserved it (3882)

On 09/13/2012 at 10:31am - kids - by PissOffPottermore (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was called into my son's school because he had got into a fist-fight with another pupil and I had to take him home. He clammed up about the reason behind the fight, until I finally managed to coax it out of him: the other kid is in "Hufflepuff" and he's in "Ravenclaw." FML

#20070089
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23769) - you deserved it (3882)

On 09/13/2012 at 10:31am - kids - by PissOffPottermore (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my wife knows tattoos are a huge turnoff for me. She decided the best way to change my mind about them would be to get one. Across her neck. Of our dog's name. FML

#20069857
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28829) - you deserved it (3101)

On 09/13/2012 at 2:43am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)



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