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lexerz's FML badges
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lexerz's favorite FMLs
by hinting / 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he discovered that if he hits a certain area just right, my leg starts shaking like a dog. Now he won't stop patting my head and saying, "Who's a good girl?!" FML
by woof woof?? / 06/15/2013 at 4:26pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate on the bathroom floor. Somehow my nose managed to start bleeding, so he bent me over the tub and kept going because he didn't want to "ruin the moment". FML
by Anonymous / 05/29/2013 at 11:55pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I woke up in bed with a one-night stand. We got really drunk the night before so I went to make a hangover-cure breakfast. Apparently he was so drunk that he didn't remember me, and when he came to the kitchen, he knocked me out with a pan and called the cops. FML
by paulinapo / 05/29/2013 at 9:53pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, my parents yelled at me for 10 minutes without letting me get a word in edgeways for getting a 48 on my test. They took my phone, unplugged my internet, and took my car keys. They wouldn't listen no matter how many times I told them, "It was out of 50". It actually was. FML
by :) / 05/29/2013 at 3:31am / United States / Miscellaneous
by scared-straight / 05/27/2013 at 12:05am / United States / Animals
by Fml / 04/12/2013 at 1:05am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
by Username / 06/27/2011 at 4:56am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I'm 19 years old and, having never been on a date, I agreed to let my friend set me up. He was adorable, young, with blond hair and blue eyes...and 4 years old. My friend tricked me into babysitting. FML
by Anonymous / 01/16/2011 at 12:20am / United States (Arkansas) / Kids
by mandy / 10/22/2009 at 8:40pm / United States (Connecticut) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 10/03/2009 at 9:03pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, at work, I was putting away clothes in the Men's department, when a guy came and started shopping in the aisle in front of me. He kept staring at me non-stop. Getting fed up, I said "What are you staring at?" Turns out he was wearing his sunglasses on the back of his head. FML
by staringisrude / 08/27/2009 at 7:00pm / United States (Virginia) / Work
Today, as I opened my diary to write a new entry, I noticed that every page had little side notes about what I had written. It had an extra long note on the page where I wrote about losing my virginity in great detail. All of the notes ended with "Love, Mom." FML
by Anonymous / 08/06/2009 at 10:10pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/09/2009 at 12:27pm / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/19/2009 at 3:00pm / United States (Washington) / Work