lexa1love

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Offline (the 12/03/2015 at 10:18pm)

lexa1love

18Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1895
  • Number of comments : 258
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About lexa1love : Lets see... I love music, animals, cooking and reading.

lexa1love's page activity

Visits<b>paigexox0</b> - the 11/22/2016 at 6:07am<b>doritostoritos</b> - the 10/05/2016 at 9:54pm<b>Lol155</b> - the 10/04/2016 at 6:12pm<b>jetemack</b> - the 09/18/2016 at 7:53pm<b>tikatica</b> - the 07/24/2016 at 1:30pm<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 06/01/2016 at 3:58pm<b>PhantomKitty</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 9:42am<b>bolee997</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 1:24am<b>Jrsmommy2014</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 10:07pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 5:34pm<b>Rich531</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 11:50am<b>Mymm</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 2:20am<b>convive</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 6:57am<b>Sora_McKain</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 10:31am<b>FyeahPoet</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 8:56pm<b>donuts678</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 9:33pm<b>LilRedRobinHood</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 1:16pm<b>Scorpio1691</b> - the 10/23/2015 at 2:03am

Fucked!<b>HowlingFire</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 1:33am<b>RobotUnicorn1209</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 7:51pm<b>xXmrmayorXx</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 3:30am<b>Cbnotme</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 9:31pm<b>Supersid333</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 1:21am<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 10:20pm<b>murr52727</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 4:24am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 1:23am<b>MrsWinchester</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 12:48am<b>Zigstyle308</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 9:57pm<b>Lesser</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 8:54pm<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 9:42am<b>palosqueak</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 6:31am<b>BlondePsycho</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 3:33pm<b>jeffandjeff</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 11:13pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 5:59am<b>CCRider</b> - the 02/01/2015 at 5:54pm<b>thebigtwinkie</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 10:16am

lexa1love's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of lexa1love's badges

lexa1love's favorite FMLs

Today, my grandpa moved into the house to live with my family. Along with having to share a room with him, he swears that having the AC on will give him pneumonia, and he keeps saying he's "freezing" when the temperature inside gets below 85. We live in Nevada. FML

by Anonymous / 05/11/2013 at 5:58pm / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous

Today, my crazy mother-in-law threatened to camp out outside my house so she will "never get left out" of our lives, all because we called instead of sending a written invitation to my three-year-old's birthday party. I actually believe she's crazy enough to do it. FML

by Anonymous / 09/19/2012 at 10:43am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

by 16590 / 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm / Sweden / Transportation

Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML

by daddy-o / 03/14/2012 at 3:51am / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous

Today, I and a policeman confronted my psychotic neighbor who stole my cat because she thinks flea bites cause cancer. She refused to tell us what she'd done with the cat. I just spent $100 last month in vet bills, and my kids are crying for their pet. He's probably in pieces in her freezer. FML

by Stalked / 11/14/2011 at 7:46pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals

Today, while performing a rectal exam on my female patient, I inadvertently said, "Okay, you're going to feel some pleasure now." I meant "pressure". Her husband was in the room. FML

by imy / 10/18/2011 at 11:01am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I wanted to take my girlfriend to a nice dinner before prom. Her parents followed her in, and joined us to "keep an eye on me." They interrupted all our conversations, ate an expensive meal, then got up and walked out when the waitress brought the $95 check, leaving me to pay for it. FML

by Anonymous / 05/01/2011 at 1:50am / United States (Kentucky) / Money

Today, I was at Aéropostale with some friends when I noticed a woman glaring at me. When we got to the checkout, the woman still had her eyes on me, so I asked why she was staring. She snapped, "If you had kept your legs closed, you wouldn't be pregnant." I'm not pregnant. FML

by vlcardenx3 / 03/12/2011 at 4:11pm / United States (West Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter learned that if she rips a toy out of its package in front of a store employee, mommy will be forced to buy it. She now has two new toys today. FML

by Anonymous / 01/11/2010 at 3:09am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, my 6 year old son learned that if you give a mouse a cookie, he will ask for a glass of milk. But if you give a hamster a cookie, he will try to shove the whole thing in his mouth, choke, and die. FML

by hamster cookie / 10/17/2009 at 5:08pm / Kids

Today, my cousin came over. I left my iPod on shuffle in the room we were in as I left to go to the bathroom. When I came back she was jamming out to "My Dick" by Mickey Avalon. She won't stop singing it and her mom is coming over to pick her up in an hour. She's 4. FML

by SomeDJ / 08/11/2009 at 11:34pm / United States (Arizona) / Kids

Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML

by DutchOven / 07/04/2009 at 5:07pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, I was having sex with a girl I had just met. After about 5 minutes in, she said she had to go to the bathroom. So we stopped and she went to the bathroom. After waiting around 10 min, I decided to check if she was ok. The window was open. She was gone. FML

by dfhgblsf / 04/05/2009 at 3:15pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I got on an elevator with a woman and her child. I was the first one on. When she stepped on, the capacity alarm went off. As she left she told her daughter that's why fat people shouldn't be allowed in public. I'm 145 lbs. She was twice my size. I got called fat by a hippopotamus. FML

by warp_routine / 03/31/2009 at 10:17am / United States (Vermont) / Health

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy