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lets_be_ian
  • Town/Country : Whorelando, FL, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 29 April 1975 (38 years)
  • Number of visits : 1943
  • Number of comments : 215
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About lets_be_ian : I have kind of a fucked up view of the world that some people might mistake for pessimistic apathy. I laugh at tragedy and sometimes cry over beauty. I have a dry, and somewhat dark since of humor that at lot of people may find distasteful. It doesn't really bother me what other people think of me, except for the select few that I care about.

I sometimes drink too much... I usually cuss too much... sometimes I am an asshole. Of course this all depends on your definition of "too much" and "sometimes". I try my best to have fun in this silly ole life, and I always try to stop and remember to see the beauty in small things... try to remind yourself to do that I feel, otherwise we find ourselves coasting through life taking for granted things that should leave us spellbound.

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lets_be_ian's favorite FMLs

Today, while buying groceries, I noticed that the lady in front of me had left a box behind. I grabbed the box and ran out the door after her. After turning around to find three employees chasing me, I noticed I had just stolen the donation box. FML

#15929536
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25315) - you deserved it (13740)

On 04/26/2011 at 12:45am - misc - by magicman - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I noticed this guy crying in the park. I went up to him to see what was wrong. Apparently his girlfriend broke up with him, and he also said he wanted to kill himself. My first response was "Don't, you'll regret it later in life". FML

#15869241
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29355) - you deserved it (11931)

On 04/21/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by alopez1994 -

Today, it's been 5 years I've been working for a man that won't admit he has Tourette's. He sits at his desk, twitching his head and hissing like a snake. He's also randomly said things like 'nipples', 'Jessica Simpson', 'potato peeler', etc. I feel like it's become my job to warn new employees. FML

#15858383
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28422) - you deserved it (4101)

On 04/20/2011 at 11:25am - work - by ShakeRattleHiss (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I'm a student vet. Part of my holiday work is to gain experience working at a dairy. A cow came on to the platform for me to inject her udder. As I was bent over, she decided to take a dump. Onto my left eyeball. FML

#15855335
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36610) - you deserved it (5184)

On 04/20/2011 at 3:27am - animals - by Anonymous - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, my cat took a shit in my toaster. FML

#15852262
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43513) - you deserved it (6376)

On 04/19/2011 at 10:21pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I walked into the laundry room when my mom pulled a condom wrapper out of my pants pocket. She looked at me and said "you know you can't wash and reuse these." FML

#15846641
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22725) - you deserved it (19071)

On 04/19/2011 at 12:19pm - misc - by killercow - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was carefully drawing blood from a drunk who'd threatened to kill me if I hurt him, when another drunk behind me decided to take a piss on my leg. FML

#15835287
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30402) - you deserved it (3689)

On 04/18/2011 at 4:12pm - work - by waterdog - United States

Today, it was the début of the high school musical I was in. When two others and I sang the word "Hell", my mother yelled at us for using that language, while the musical was still going, and dragged me off stage. FML

#15281209
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40208) - you deserved it (3238)

On 03/12/2011 at 12:14am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went out for pizza with my boyfriend. He loaned me his debit card and loudly announced in front of everyone that his pin code was the numerical equivalent of "Fart", and repeated it twice, just in case I hadn't heard. FML

#14969224
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21802) - you deserved it (3382)

On 02/14/2011 at 2:14am - misc - by datingamoron (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? I dare you." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML

#14965591
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12419) - you deserved it (45479)

On 02/13/2011 at 10:25pm - misc - by NotAsToughAsHeThinks (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend. He is the kind of guy that likes to keep things interesting. Just as he started climaxing, he began to meow. FML

#12438405
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27437) - you deserved it (7779)

On 08/10/2010 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by verno02 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad found my "list". 32 guys, 4 girls. Colour coded as to who I would sleep with again and who I wouldn't, who were virgins, etc. He complimented me on my "organizational skills." FML

#11944390
336 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13373) - you deserved it (52183)

On 07/17/2010 at 3:34pm - intimacy - by reckless (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I spent the night with my guy, whom I hadn't seen in ages. In the middle of sex, he answered his phone, told me to be quiet, talked to the girl on the other end about how boring his day was, then left the room to finish talking to her. When he came back he asked if I felt like swallowing. FML

#6078276
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21723) - you deserved it (3886)

On 10/31/2009 at 12:31am - intimacy - by dtmfa (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I wore my kilt to the university I attend. Getting tired of the stares which I was receiving, I yelled "It's cause its too big to fit in my pants". As soon as the words left my mouth, a gust of wind came and blew my kilt up around my waist, revealing that my previous claim was untrue. FML

#6053376
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8577) - you deserved it (47173)

On 10/29/2009 at 10:31am - misc - by TrueScotsman (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my son's hamster died. It was overweight and got stuck in its plastic tube. My 6 year old son came downstairs to me smashing a plastic tube with a dead hamster in it on the kitchen table. He thinks I killed it. FML



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